Is my step-DC entitled?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP--she is 17 turning 18. Father does not say anything....

What does this mean?

Stop being cryptic.

Does he want you to buy his daughter a present? What did you do last year?

OP--gave her a $50.00 gift card last year to the clothing store she likes/shops at and a nice card. Last year my husband spent over $600 bucks on her Birthday gifts and a party. I ended up buying all the Birthday gifts for my kids on my own.

OP, do you resent your step-DC because of this? If you're living with your husband and kids, it seems weird that he isn't contributing to your kids' gifts. That's a conversation that you should be having with him. You shouldn't blame her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP--she is 17 turning 18. Father does not say anything....

What does this mean?

Stop being cryptic.

Does he want you to buy his daughter a present? What did you do last year?

OP--gave her a $50.00 gift card last year to the clothing store she likes/shops at and a nice card. Last year my husband spent over $600 bucks on her Birthday gifts and a party. I ended up buying all the Birthday gifts for my kids on my own.

Why are you giving her something different from what her dad gives her? Just sign your name to his card. You don’t need anything extra just from you and her “siblings”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is 17 year old supposed to buy you and her half or step siblings presents? Usuallyparents buy present for kids. If kids do buy something for a parent it is usually something small. If she has no money, how is she to do this?
She is expecting a present from her parent who is your spouse. As she should, not from you really. She does not sound entitled. She could be wanting a Range Rover. Plus, pony up? She is your family, do you dread ponying up for your won kids presents? How many presents do you receive from your own children?

She is working five days a week since she was 16; we do not expect her to pay for anything at the house. All her expenses are covered.

Girl, what? Of course her expenses are covered at the house. She’s a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were not poor at all. We had lovely home, 2 cars, and a 1 -week vacay at the beach or the ski slopes each year. Dad was management and mom was an office manager. My parents did not believe in spoiling children. I do the same with my own.

For my 18th my parents gave me a lovely birthday card with $25 tucked in it and a long personal *handwritten* message about how much I mean to them-- that is a treasure to me. The 25$ I got is long gone, but that card stays in my top drawer for years, to be read over and over. Dad is now gone, and mom is in her 80s. I couldn't give a crap what material item I bought with that money on my 18th birthday.

I doubt her StepDD is spoiled since she is working 5xs a week. Many parents would never let their kids work that much as it interferes with school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP--she is 17 turning 18. Father does not say anything....

What does this mean?

Stop being cryptic.

Does he want you to buy his daughter a present? What did you do last year?

OP--gave her a $50.00 gift card last year to the clothing store she likes/shops at and a nice card. Last year my husband spent over $600 bucks on her Birthday gifts and a party. I ended up buying all the Birthday gifts for my kids on my own.

It’s weird that you give separate gifts. You’re married to her dad, right? One gift from the both of you. If he pays for it, so be it. Sign your names and call it a day. Same for your kids.

Exactly. It's that simple. OP needs to talk to her husband and change that.

As for her bratty SD she can want a pony or a spa day. She gets what THEY give her. Give all the kids equal gifts OP, and make sure your DH is on board. Maybe he is the problem here along with the brat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is 17 year old supposed to buy you and her half or step siblings presents? Usuallyparents buy present for kids. If kids do buy something for a parent it is usually something small. If she has no money, how is she to do this?
She is expecting a present from her parent who is your spouse. As she should, not from you really. She does not sound entitled. She could be wanting a Range Rover. Plus, pony up? She is your family, do you dread ponying up for your won kids presents? How many presents do you receive from your own children?

She is working five days a week since she was 16; we do not expect her to pay for anything at the house. All her expenses are covered.

Girl, what? Of course her expenses are covered at the house. She’s a child.

I was floored by this part too. OP sounds like she’s got a spreadsheet running full time in her head. Every dollar that’s going to the step is being stolen from her precious kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is 17 year old supposed to buy you and her half or step siblings presents? Usuallyparents buy present for kids. If kids do buy something for a parent it is usually something small. If she has no money, how is she to do this?
She is expecting a present from her parent who is your spouse. As she should, not from you really. She does not sound entitled. She could be wanting a Range Rover. Plus, pony up? She is your family, do you dread ponying up for your won kids presents? How many presents do you receive from your own children?

She is working five days a week since she was 16; we do not expect her to pay for anything at the house. All her expenses are covered.

Why would she pay anything? She is your husband’s child. 18 birthday is a big deal, and she is asking her dad for the gift, unless you keep separate finances and she is asking you to pay vs her dad. You sound like a mean stepmom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP--she is 17 turning 18. Father does not say anything....

What does this mean?

Stop being cryptic.

Does he want you to buy his daughter a present? What did you do last year?

OP--gave her a $50.00 gift card last year to the clothing store she likes/shops at and a nice card. Last year my husband spent over $600 bucks on her Birthday gifts and a party. I ended up buying all the Birthday gifts for my kids on my own.

Op. Sorry to say you sound like the entitled one. Step dd is a child. Did your kids buy you anything ? Did they buy her anything without your paying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP--she is 17 turning 18. Father does not say anything....

What does this mean?

Stop being cryptic.

Does he want you to buy his daughter a present? What did you do last year?

OP--gave her a $50.00 gift card last year to the clothing store she likes/shops at and a nice card. Last year my husband spent over $600 bucks on her Birthday gifts and a party. I ended up buying all the Birthday gifts for my kids on my own.

It’s weird that you give separate gifts. You’re married to her dad, right? One gift from the both of you. If he pays for it, so be it. Sign your names and call it a day. Same for your kids.

She’s 18 and OP should tread lightly. Support can go beyond 18.
Exactly. It's that simple. OP needs to talk to her husband and change that.

As for her bratty SD she can want a pony or a spa day. She gets what THEY give her. Give all the kids equal gifts OP, and make sure your DH is on board. Maybe he is the problem here along with the brat.

[Anonymous]

I think a spa day for 3 is over the top, step kid ir not.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like step daughter only has her dad, while the rest of the siblings have both mom and dad, if that’s the case be nicer to step daughter on her birthday.