Parents poaching teens friend?

[Anonymous]

This is a really strange situation, so I acknowledge that first. We have a group of mom friends (I know, I hate that term too - call it whatever) from way back when. Some have boys, some have girls, most in the same age range. One of the moms is talking about (and preoccupied with) which teens are friends with which, and who could she "get to hang out with" her teen. Specifically, she was talking about "poaching" a particular teen friend from one of the nice teens. I though it sounded evil and contorted, and over involved, so I said so. She got really angry with me, and says she (basically has "exigent circumstances" for doing so - we are all in the same boat, so no, she does not). She asked for our opinion, but didn't really want it. What she was talking about seemed really mean and contrived - like an adult mean girl. Should I tell the mom of the nice teen what transpired? This sounds like the mom has some teen score to settle of her own, and I don't think what she is doing is right. Or should I MYOB? Not sure what to think of a mom who has to know who other teens hang out with - that reeks of ill intent. Sorry if this question seems immature, the situation is.

[Anonymous]

I should tell you that this is not the first time it has happened. OP here. Yes, the mom is over involved, and I don't want to be like that, I just think the social engineering is too much. I don't want to tell you where I am, so please don't ask.

[Anonymous]

MYOB and also distance yourself from the other mom as much as possible. She sounds nuts.

[Anonymous]

The mom sounds nuts, and you should stay uninvolved. And be reassured that her efforts will fail spectacularly. I feel for the poor kid she is trying to engineer a social life for during the teenage years.

[Anonymous]

Still not as weird as someone I know that tries to make all of her kids' friends HER friends. One of them is my son and I cringe every time he says that she texted him about something or other. I had to stop sitting near her at soccer last year because it nauseated me how she would try to socialize with the teen boys and it felt too much like flirting to me. What mother has their kids' friends phone numbers except in rare circumstances. She is always texting my son some cute little meme or other Information.
So bizarre!!!

[Anonymous]

MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Still not as weird as someone I know that tries to make all of her kids' friends HER friends. One of them is my son and I cringe every time he says that she texted him about something or other. I had to stop sitting near her at soccer last year because it nauseated me how she would try to socialize with the teen boys and it felt too much like flirting to me. What mother has their kids' friends phone numbers except in rare circumstances. She is always texting my son some cute little meme or other Information.
So bizarre!!!

ugh that is actually legit creepy. is your son weirded out by it?

[Anonymous]

if there is one things teens respond well to, it's parents deciding who they can be friends with

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Still not as weird as someone I know that tries to make all of her kids' friends HER friends. One of them is my son and I cringe every time he says that she texted him about something or other. I had to stop sitting near her at soccer last year because it nauseated me how she would try to socialize with the teen boys and it felt too much like flirting to me. What mother has their kids' friends phone numbers except in rare circumstances. She is always texting my son some cute little meme or other Information.
So bizarre!!!

I’d put a stop to that if he were my son. Flip it: if some dad were texting your daughter....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Still not as weird as someone I know that tries to make all of her kids' friends HER friends. One of them is my son and I cringe every time he says that she texted him about something or other. I had to stop sitting near her at soccer last year because it nauseated me how she would try to socialize with the teen boys and it felt too much like flirting to me. What mother has their kids' friends phone numbers except in rare circumstances. She is always texting my son some cute little meme or other Information.
So bizarre!!!

ugh that is actually legit creepy. is your son weirded out by it?

PP- be careful, yes this is a leap, but ugh.

https://www.capegazette.com/node/89276

[Anonymous]

Does her kid have some kind of social difficulty? How would she “poach” this person? Can’t teens have more than one friend?

[Anonymous]

I think this is just a variant on people who spend a fortune on their homes so that all the teens will prefer to go to Cheryl's house with the pool and the pool house and the movie theater room and the awesome groceries in the fridge, rather than to Louisa's apartment. It's the idea of parents forcing other families to compete for teenager's time and friendship. All of it is very wrong on so many levels My SIL is always bragging about how her popular child was invited on someone else's expensive vacation. Isn't that kind of like 'poaching' a friend by inviting a kid to go skiing with you or to your beach house? Pretty good way to get the kid to spend time there rather than at someone else's boring house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Still not as weird as someone I know that tries to make all of her kids' friends HER friends. One of them is my son and I cringe every time he says that she texted him about something or other. I had to stop sitting near her at soccer last year because it nauseated me how she would try to socialize with the teen boys and it felt too much like flirting to me. What mother has their kids' friends phone numbers except in rare circumstances. She is always texting my son some cute little meme or other Information.
So bizarre!!!

I’d put a stop to that if he were my son. Flip it: if some dad were texting your daughter....

I would too.

[Anonymous]

I've seen this PP. There is a mom who did this in elementary school and middle school. She would identify kids and parents she wanted to be friends with and wanted her son to be friends with and cultivate them, sometimes breaking apart long standing social groups. She was very charming to those who mattered to her and ignored those who didn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've seen this PP. There is a mom who did this in elementary school and middle school. She would identify kids and parents she wanted to be friends with and wanted her son to be friends with and cultivate them, sometimes breaking apart long standing social groups. She was very charming to those who mattered to her and ignored those who didn't.

I've seen this, OP, not PP.