Parents poaching teens friend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen this PP. There is a mom who did this in elementary school and middle school. She would identify kids and parents she wanted to be friends with and wanted her son to be friends with and cultivate them, sometimes breaking apart long standing social groups. She was very charming to those who mattered to her and ignored those who didn't.

It happened to us, and it was bizarre. Mom (early elementary school, her only child was a boy) cultivated friendship with my DD's bff, and bff's mom, and created friction between my DD and her bff. My DD was so offended that it destroyed her relationship with bff. On a side note, these kids are now young adults. I recently noticed the mom of the boy is very active in a young girl's sports activity that brings kids to the area. She had only one child - the boy who is now a young adult - but she's involved in a sports activity for tween/early teen girls? Based on how we were really burned by her a long time ago, I feel sorry for any kid groups in her orbit - but I'm completely removed from that world at this point, and you'd think other people in that world would know this idiot pretty well by now.

I've seen women like this too. There was one a while back who was very subtle about it, let's call her CM for Crazy Mom. I noticed she would say not-so-nice things to other women about their children, but in a way that allowed plausible deniability so she could call someone crazy if they took offense. CM was quick t say oh I didn't mean it like that, what's wrong with you? CM was a major suck up to teachers and school personnel - anyone who could potentially help her. She was nice to me, but I saw this with others and stopped inviting her to events.

Then one time I was talking to another mom from a prominent family. I don't want to give away details, but you would likely know the name. CM didn't know her, but she knew me. CM comes up to say hi to me. I introduced her to prominent mom and then CM never once looked at me during the conversation again. It was soooo awkward. The prominent mom is looking at both of us like normal people do, and CM is turned away from me, focusing only on prominent mom. CM makes an excuse to get her number and is so lovely and friendly to her. I just walked away because it was so awkward. CM totally edged me out but it felt like I would have had a hostile situation if I stayed. I guess I didn't care enough to stand my ground. I'm not sure whether prominent mom noticed what happened or not.

CM's daughter turned into a well-known bully, and eventually my DD and her friends stopped hanging out with her. CM's DD found her own crew of mean girls and eventually they terrorized my DD and some of her friends. The whole thing is really sad because we knew CM's DD since she was 4. It was like a real-life show on how to create a mean girl. It makes me wonder what CM's DD might have been like if she had a different type of mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I tried to do this with my DD while she was a teen she would have laughed at me and told me she would die of embarrassment. I will tell you that any time my DD didn't want to hang out with another girl at this age, she would blame it on me. "My Moms says I can't". "My Mom made other plans for me" etc.

Same here. And she would tell me that she blamed me, and we would both chuckle. I didn't mind, if it helped her get out of an awkward situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen this PP. There is a mom who did this in elementary school and middle school. She would identify kids and parents she wanted to be friends with and wanted her son to be friends with and cultivate them, sometimes breaking apart long standing social groups. She was very charming to those who mattered to her and ignored those who didn't.

It happened to us, and it was bizarre. Mom (early elementary school, her only child was a boy) cultivated friendship with my DD's bff, and bff's mom, and created friction between my DD and her bff. My DD was so offended that it destroyed her relationship with bff. On a side note, these kids are now young adults. I recently noticed the mom of the boy is very active in a young girl's sports activity that brings kids to the area. She had only one child - the boy who is now a young adult - but she's involved in a sports activity for tween/early teen girls? Based on how we were really burned by her a long time ago, I feel sorry for any kid groups in her orbit - but I'm completely removed from that world at this point, and you'd think other people in that world would know this idiot pretty well by now.

I've seen women like this too. There was one a while back who was very subtle about it, let's call her CM for Crazy Mom. I noticed she would say not-so-nice things to other women about their children, but in a way that allowed plausible deniability so she could call someone crazy if they took offense. CM was quick t say oh I didn't mean it like that, what's wrong with you? CM was a major suck up to teachers and school personnel - anyone who could potentially help her. She was nice to me, but I saw this with others and stopped inviting her to events.

Then one time I was talking to another mom from a prominent family. I don't want to give away details, but you would likely know the name. CM didn't know her, but she knew me. CM comes up to say hi to me. I introduced her to prominent mom and then CM never once looked at me during the conversation again. It was soooo awkward. The prominent mom is looking at both of us like normal people do, and CM is turned away from me, focusing only on prominent mom. CM makes an excuse to get her number and is so lovely and friendly to her. I just walked away because it was so awkward. CM totally edged me out but it felt like I would have had a hostile situation if I stayed. I guess I didn't care enough to stand my ground. I'm not sure whether prominent mom noticed what happened or not.

CM's daughter turned into a well-known bully, and eventually my DD and her friends stopped hanging out with her. CM's DD found her own crew of mean girls and eventually they terrorized my DD and some of her friends. The whole thing is really sad because we knew CM's DD since she was 4. It was like a real-life show on how to create a mean girl. It makes me wonder what CM's DD might have been like if she had a different type of mother.

How old are these girls? Kids change and some become nicer in highschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where do these parents live and is this public or private? I can’t imagine having a conversation like this.

OP says don't ask, understandably.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen this PP. There is a mom who did this in elementary school and middle school. She would identify kids and parents she wanted to be friends with and wanted her son to be friends with and cultivate them, sometimes breaking apart long standing social groups. She was very charming to those who mattered to her and ignored those who didn't.

It happened to us, and it was bizarre. Mom (early elementary school, her only child was a boy) cultivated friendship with my DD's bff, and bff's mom, and created friction between my DD and her bff. My DD was so offended that it destroyed her relationship with bff. On a side note, these kids are now young adults. I recently noticed the mom of the boy is very active in a young girl's sports activity that brings kids to the area. She had only one child - the boy who is now a young adult - but she's involved in a sports activity for tween/early teen girls? Based on how we were really burned by her a long time ago, I feel sorry for any kid groups in her orbit - but I'm completely removed from that world at this point, and you'd think other people in that world would know this idiot pretty well by now.

I've seen women like this too. There was one a while back who was very subtle about it, let's call her CM for Crazy Mom. I noticed she would say not-so-nice things to other women about their children, but in a way that allowed plausible deniability so she could call someone crazy if they took offense. CM was quick t say oh I didn't mean it like that, what's wrong with you? CM was a major suck up to teachers and school personnel - anyone who could potentially help her. She was nice to me, but I saw this with others and stopped inviting her to events.

Then one time I was talking to another mom from a prominent family. I don't want to give away details, but you would likely know the name. CM didn't know her, but she knew me. CM comes up to say hi to me. I introduced her to prominent mom and then CM never once looked at me during the conversation again. It was soooo awkward. The prominent mom is looking at both of us like normal people do, and CM is turned away from me, focusing only on prominent mom. CM makes an excuse to get her number and is so lovely and friendly to her. I just walked away because it was so awkward. CM totally edged me out but it felt like I would have had a hostile situation if I stayed. I guess I didn't care enough to stand my ground. I'm not sure whether prominent mom noticed what happened or not.

CM's daughter turned into a well-known bully, and eventually my DD and her friends stopped hanging out with her. CM's DD found her own crew of mean girls and eventually they terrorized my DD and some of her friends. The whole thing is really sad because we knew CM's DD since she was 4. It was like a real-life show on how to create a mean girl. It makes me wonder what CM's DD might have been like if she had a different type of mother.

+1

It's all about plausible deniability - but it SO obvious. Glad so many other PP's agree. As for the ones who do not, and are name calling (par for the course), they are definitely the mean girls turned mean moms gone awry. They can deny it all they want, but they are proving the point perfectly.