Parents poaching teens friend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if some PPs think OP should MYOB because they think getting involved would be meddling in teen friendships in the same way the OP's friend is. But there are adult friendships involved here too, and if the woman is crazy enough to say this stuff out loud, she's crazy enough to try it, and who knows what kind of schemes she'll undertake to carry it out.... including manipulating her friendship with the poachee's mom. If I were poachee's mom and I found out my friend OP knew something like this and didn't tell me, I would seriously question my friendship with OP.

I don't think OP has to make it too dramatic, but she could just say something like, "I wanted to let you know that Crazy Mom is IMO overly interested in the kids' social lives, and she is very jealous of your DD's friendships. I'm not sure she's above trying some social engineering that would try to exclude your DD."

By doing this the Mom talking to the other Mom looks just as meddling and as crazy. Stay out of the drama. Teach your children a good example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if some PPs think OP should MYOB because they think getting involved would be meddling in teen friendships in the same way the OP's friend is. But there are adult friendships involved here too, and if the woman is crazy enough to say this stuff out loud, she's crazy enough to try it, and who knows what kind of schemes she'll undertake to carry it out.... including manipulating her friendship with the poachee's mom. If I were poachee's mom and I found out my friend OP knew something like this and didn't tell me, I would seriously question my friendship with OP.

I don't think OP has to make it too dramatic, but she could just say something like, "I wanted to let you know that Crazy Mom is IMO overly interested in the kids' social lives, and she is very jealous of your DD's friendships. I'm not sure she's above trying some social engineering that would try to exclude your DD."

This, except I would stick to the facts. Crazy Mom stated that she wanted to poach your child's friend. Don't speculate by saying "I'm not sure she's above trying some social engineering that would try to exclude your DD."

OP, you owe it to the poachee and her family to tell the truth or you can't call yourself a friend. Just stick to the facts though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen this PP. There is a mom who did this in elementary school and middle school. She would identify kids and parents she wanted to be friends with and wanted her son to be friends with and cultivate them, sometimes breaking apart long standing social groups. She was very charming to those who mattered to her and ignored those who didn't.

It happened to us, and it was bizarre. Mom (early elementary school, her only child was a boy) cultivated friendship with my DD's bff, and bff's mom, and created friction between my DD and her bff. My DD was so offended that it destroyed her relationship with bff. On a side note, these kids are now young adults. I recently noticed the mom of the boy is very active in a young girl's sports activity that brings kids to the area. She had only one child - the boy who is now a young adult - but she's involved in a sports activity for tween/early teen girls? Based on how we were really burned by her a long time ago, I feel sorry for any kid groups in her orbit - but I'm completely removed from that world at this point, and you'd think other people in that world would know this idiot pretty well by now.

[Anonymous]

By all means, keep churning the drama.

[Anonymous]

True friends can't be poached. If you kid was really liked, they wouldn't stop hanging out with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if some PPs think OP should MYOB because they think getting involved would be meddling in teen friendships in the same way the OP's friend is. But there are adult friendships involved here too, and if the woman is crazy enough to say this stuff out loud, she's crazy enough to try it, and who knows what kind of schemes she'll undertake to carry it out.... including manipulating her friendship with the poachee's mom. If I were poachee's mom and I found out my friend OP knew something like this and didn't tell me, I would seriously question my friendship with OP.

I don't think OP has to make it too dramatic, but she could just say something like, "I wanted to let you know that Crazy Mom is IMO overly interested in the kids' social lives, and she is very jealous of your DD's friendships. I'm not sure she's above trying some social engineering that would try to exclude your DD."

+1

The poacher mom is relying on gaslighting and projecting/deflecting, to make the other mom seem crazy. In reality, the poacher mom is sneaky and underhanded - she brought this on herself, and people should know. Those who are saying otherwise clearly are not above this kind of demented, selfish, self centered and controlling social engineering BS. By teen years, the teens should be choosing their own friends. Period. This isn't preschool. Women who do this have serious problems, social anxieties (at the very least), probably depression, and definitely multiple insecurities, and they are tossing their own children under the bus - it will backfire on them, hard. Learn to stay in your own lane, or your own kid will hate you.

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine anyone saying they were going to poach another kid. What a strange mom friend group. What is the age range and how do you all meet? I can’t fathom this conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:True friends can't be poached. If you kid was really liked, they wouldn't stop hanging out with them.

The other kid is very kind and looked like an easy target. That is different than what you are saying. You sound like one of the socially stunted moms that are involved to an extremely unhealthy degree. You probably attack other moms, while you are at it. If they defend themselves, and they do, you try to flip it around. So overdone and predictable. Learn to step off, instead of trying to flip things around - you and your kid will be much happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine anyone saying they were going to poach another kid. What a strange mom friend group. What is the age range and how do you all meet? I can’t fathom this conversation.

Teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine anyone saying they were going to poach another kid. What a strange mom friend group. What is the age range and how do you all meet? I can’t fathom this conversation.

Teens.

ie: too old for meddling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine anyone saying they were going to poach another kid. What a strange mom friend group. What is the age range and how do you all meet? I can’t fathom this conversation.

Teens.

ie: too old for meddling.

This. They all sound crazy! "I'm going to tattletale on Mom A" give me a break. Grow tf up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:True friends can't be poached. If you kid was really liked, they wouldn't stop hanging out with them.

The other kid is very kind and looked like an easy target. That is different than what you are saying. You sound like one of the socially stunted moms that are involved to an extremely unhealthy degree. You probably attack other moms, while you are at it. If they defend themselves, and they do, you try to flip it around. So overdone and predictable. Learn to step off, instead of trying to flip things around - you and your kid will be much happier.

You're calling someone out for being unhealthy and stunted when they say MYOFB? Meanwhile, you're advocating for doing the SAME thing you are accusing the "crazy Mom" of dong. Look into the mirror crazy, hypocritical, helicopter Mom.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the moms who do this could explain their insecurities a little bit more - abandoned as children? Never had friends? Don't want their teens to have friends? I mean, that is the only explanation, if you know anything about having friends, really.

Why are you so afraid of being called out? Your reputation precedes you. Do you not realize your behaviors are so obvious?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:True friends can't be poached. If you kid was really liked, they wouldn't stop hanging out with them.

The other kid is very kind and looked like an easy target. That is different than what you are saying. You sound like one of the socially stunted moms that are involved to an extremely unhealthy degree. You probably attack other moms, while you are at it. If they defend themselves, and they do, you try to flip it around. So overdone and predictable. Learn to step off, instead of trying to flip things around - you and your kid will be much happier.

You're calling someone out for being unhealthy and stunted when they say MYOFB? Meanwhile, you're advocating for doing the SAME thing you are accusing the "crazy Mom" of dong. Look into the mirror crazy, hypocritical, helicopter Mom.

Sounds personal for that Mom. Maybe she had no friends growing up? Sounds like we can understand why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:True friends can't be poached. If you kid was really liked, they wouldn't stop hanging out with them.

The other kid is very kind and looked like an easy target. That is different than what you are saying. You sound like one of the socially stunted moms that are involved to an extremely unhealthy degree. You probably attack other moms, while you are at it. If they defend themselves, and they do, you try to flip it around. So overdone and predictable. Learn to step off, instead of trying to flip things around - you and your kid will be much happier.

You're calling someone out for being unhealthy and stunted when they say MYOFB? Meanwhile, you're advocating for doing the SAME thing you are accusing the "crazy Mom" of dong. Look into the mirror crazy, hypocritical, helicopter Mom.

+1