Caved and we got a dog , big mistake

[Anonymous]

I held out for years as my husband talked constantly about wanting a dog and of course got the kids on board. I could not take being the bad guy anymore and caved. Big mistake. The enormous stress of two kids remote learning and two full time high stress WFH jobs - now exacerbated by another enormous stressor. Worse than I anticipated partly bc I assumed (without giving it much thought - so maybe my bad) that DH knew what he was doing bc be grew up with dogs. Nope. Doesn’t know how to train the dog (a thing that apparently has to happen) - has shown little interest in learning. And like with the kids, I find myself dealing with the dog bc she seems so sad. Dogs are so needy ! I do not like dogs which I realize makes me a monster to like 90 percent of people. But seriously. They just sit there and need stuff. And they are not even human. Ugh! Our marriage was already on the rocks this is really too much

[Anonymous]

Poor dog.

I caved 18 months ago. We got two so they have a friend. Makes a huge difference. Love having them.

[Anonymous]

I really cannot understand people who surrender their entire quality of life to a dog.

Don’t let the dog get out!
Don’t let the dog jump on the grandma!
The neighbor is calling about the dog’s barking!
The dog ate the steak we were going to have for dinner!
The dog chewed up my new shoes!
We have to get home now to walk the dog!
Hold the dog!!!!

Ugh.

Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

The enormous stress of two kids remote learning and two full time high stress WFH jobs

Lame. You are weak and broken - don’t blame it on the poor dog.

[Anonymous]

Family meeting which can be a teaching moment for the kids (and your DH) about how you all made the choice to get a dog and you all need to participate in training the dogs. Kids can teach lessons like "sit" which are easy and stepping stones for the dog to understand that he/she needs to listen and gets a reward for doing so. DH can work on more complex tasks (stay--which requires more work). Find a few good youtube videos on training. I'd put effort into getting the family to work together before thinking about getting rid of the dog. My .02

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The enormous stress of two kids remote learning and two full time high stress WFH jobs

Lame. You are weak and broken - don’t blame it on the poor dog.

OP here - Lol, I am weak and broken for being stressed out like the rest of the world?? I always forget how many crazies there are on this site. Strangely I feel better now so thank you. I’ll be signing off now until I forget again about the general lunacy rate on DCUM. Good luck everyone!

[Anonymous]

The cleaning, walking and boarding fees it’s a nightmare. Get rid off the dog now.

[Anonymous]

OP are you rich? I have family member who got a dog
During the pandemic that turned into a huge stressor and they sent the dog to some boot camp where someone else trained him.

Short of that you need to just have a come to Jesus moment with your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The cleaning, walking and boarding fees it’s a nightmare. Get rid off the dog now.

+100.

It’s easier now. Get it over with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The enormous stress of two kids remote learning and two full time high stress WFH jobs

Lame. You are weak and broken - don’t blame it on the poor dog.

That was a stretch and you seem to be projecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I held out for years as my husband talked constantly about wanting a dog and of course got the kids on board. I could not take being the bad guy anymore and caved. Big mistake. The enormous stress of two kids remote learning and two full time high stress WFH jobs - now exacerbated by another enormous stressor. Worse than I anticipated partly bc I assumed (without giving it much thought - so maybe my bad) that DH knew what he was doing bc be grew up with dogs. Nope. Doesn’t know how to train the dog (a thing that apparently has to happen) - has shown little interest in learning. And like with the kids, I find myself dealing with the dog bc she seems so sad. Dogs are so needy ! I do not like dogs which I realize makes me a monster to like 90 percent of people. But seriously. They just sit there and need stuff. And they are not even human. Ugh! Our marriage was already on the rocks this is really too much

You had fair warning about what kind of pet parent your dh would be if you were already doing a disproportionate amount of parenting your children.

How long have you had the dog? It will take some time for the dog to adjust to its new pack and new home. It’s possible that the dog won’t always be so needy. Is the dog a puppy or an adult? If it’s a puppy, it won’t always be this energetic and bonkers. If you think you could love the dog if you resolved something of the issues you’re having, then it’s worth working with a trainer. If you know that you’re never going to feel that way, then yes, return the dog. I also held out for years because I knew I wouldn’t get much help. The difference is that I wanted a dog. Now that we have one, I’m completely in love with him.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you are still reading, I suggest you make a chore chart for the dpg. Kids 8 and up can participate in walks, training, feeding, cleanup etc. I do sox walks a week and they so the rest. There are online training classes—get your husband to commit to one now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I held out for years as my husband talked constantly about wanting a dog and of course got the kids on board. I could not take being the bad guy anymore and caved. Big mistake. The enormous stress of two kids remote learning and two full time high stress WFH jobs - now exacerbated by another enormous stressor. Worse than I anticipated partly bc I assumed (without giving it much thought - so maybe my bad) that DH knew what he was doing bc be grew up with dogs. Nope. Doesn’t know how to train the dog (a thing that apparently has to happen) - has shown little interest in learning. And like with the kids, I find myself dealing with the dog bc she seems so sad. Dogs are so needy ! I do not like dogs which I realize makes me a monster to like 90 percent of people. But seriously. They just sit there and need stuff. And they are not even human. Ugh! Our marriage was already on the rocks this is really too much

You had fair warning about what kind of pet parent your dh would be if you were already doing a disproportionate amount of parenting your children.

How long have you had the dog? It will take some time for the dog to adjust to its new pack and new home. It’s possible that the dog won’t always be so needy. Is the dog a puppy or an adult? If it’s a puppy, it won’t always be this energetic and bonkers. If you think you could love the dog if you resolved something of the issues you’re having, then it’s worth working with a trainer. If you know that you’re never going to feel that way, then yes, return the dog. I also held out for years because I knew I wouldn’t get much help. The difference is that I wanted a dog. Now that we have one, I’m completely in love with him.

For the gazillionth time, you are not your dog's parent!
On second thought, though..

[Anonymous]

+1 to family meeting. Now is a great time to train the dog b/c you are all (presumably) home a lot more than usual. Also everyone needs to learn how to handle the dog, and the dog needs to learn to sit/stay/walk nicely with everyone in the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The enormous stress of two kids remote learning and two full time high stress WFH jobs

Lame. You are weak and broken - don’t blame it on the poor dog.

OP here - Lol, I am weak and broken for being stressed out like the rest of the world?? I always forget how many crazies there are on this site. Strangely I feel better now so thank you. I’ll be signing off now until I forget again about the general lunacy rate on DCUM. Good luck everyone!

OP, DO NOT FEEL BAD about not loving the situation!!

Our neighbor got a puppy some 3 years back, obviously surrendering to his son's pleas. The boy proudly paraded the dog around the school bus stop.. for maybe 3 times. Then the dog disappeared. When asked, the neighbor said that his wife said "I'm not walking this dog", he had to travel on business a lot, and the kid who got them in the dog mess in the first place, lost interest and could not be trusted at all times to take care of the animal.
They returned the dog to the woman they took the dog from; the neighbor said she was less than happy, but oh well.

OP, is there any way for you to return the dog?