Caved and we got a dog , big mistake

[Anonymous]

If you were already doing the majority of parenting work, I'm not sure why you thought all of a sudden your DH would suddenly do the bulk of caring for a dog.

We have a dog, and I don't find her annoying at all. Even when I have to get up at 7am on a Sunday and walk her in the rain. Total labor of love.

Dogs love their families, and just want to be around them. If you got a puppy, they DO take a lot of work to train, but then once it's done, it's done. You just take them through their paces.

My dog keeps me company all day while I'm working. Sometimes I tell her about what's going on. "Can you believe Ashley actually suggested telling the client that?" As we're sitting down to a Zoom meeting I'll brush her hair so she looks presentable on camera - she is friends with the CFO's dog.

If she gets bored of all my work talk she goes to see what DH is working on, or she keeps the kids company. They are not allowed to pick her up unless we're there, and are not allowed to feed her without permission.

Part of having a dog, is having all family members on board with the rules for the dog.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, I totally feel your pain. That's all I can say.

I would make a list of chores and force my husband to find a trainer ASAP. You shouldn't have to walk or feed the dog - it wasn't your decision to adopt/buy him.

A dog will be part of the family for more than a decade. I really wish we had thought this through better too. When the pandemic is over, I want to start traveling again, and I don't know how that will even work. And we both travel for work - long distances/abroad.

Dogs are not for everyone. I think they're best for families with young kids, or for lonely people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really cannot understand people who surrender their entire quality of life to a dog.

Don’t let the dog get out!
Don’t let the dog jump on the grandma!
The neighbor is calling about the dog’s barking!
The dog ate the steak we were going to have for dinner!
The dog chewed up my new shoes!
We have to get home now to walk the dog!
Hold the dog!!!!

Ugh.

Good luck, OP.

I’ve got to get home to walk the dog is an excuse I use to get out of talking to you. It’s the best part of having a dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really cannot understand people who surrender their entire quality of life to a dog.

Don’t let the dog get out!
Don’t let the dog jump on the grandma!
The neighbor is calling about the dog’s barking!
The dog ate the steak we were going to have for dinner!
The dog chewed up my new shoes!
We have to get home now to walk the dog!
Hold the dog!!!!

Ugh.

Good luck, OP.

I’ve got to get home to walk the dog is an excuse I use to get out of talking to you. It’s the best part of having a dog.

I wouldn’t be talking with someone like you in the first place!

[Anonymous]

I see both sides. We had a dog unloaded on us (long story). Felt bad and didn’t want to take it to a shelter, so we tried to find a doggy-loving friend to take him. He’s ugly. Not an easy sell. We were not doggy people, but took care of him while we waited for someone to agree to take him. Pain in the ass. Walks, “hold the dog,” did the dog just vomit in the carpet? Did I mention he’s ugly?

And then something happened. Weeks passed. A month. “Gross! Dog hair on the sofa! Why isn’t someone taking this stupid ugly dog!” somehow turn into, “well, he’s not THAT ugly” and finally to, “he’s been on your lap long enough. My turn.”

We still groan at the walks sometime and the flying hair is gross. Also, he does weird things like licks throw pillows. And yet... he’s sitting on the sofa next to me right now and he’s so warm and he looks up at me with that face of his.

Yes, we have kids. They are too little to help with the dog but watching them with him makes us happy they will grow up with a pet because neither of us had more than the random pet fish or hermit crab. Now it seems sad.

[Anonymous]

We did this. Then we posted here. People were awful and judgy because we were bad "dog parents". We weren't, but we hated taking care of him. He was cute. And...he wasn't human. Long story short. We gave him away to a loving family that were dog people and went back to just our lovely, easy 10yo cat. You know what you want. It's OK. Do it. Life is too short.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did this. Then we posted here. People were awful and judgy because we were bad "dog parents". We weren't, but we hated taking care of him. He was cute. And...he wasn't human. Long story short. We gave him away to a loving family that were dog people and went back to just our lovely, easy 10yo cat. You know what you want. It's OK. Do it. Life is too short.

Best answer!

[Anonymous]

I have a dog, who I adore, but I remember how much work it was!! I am sympathetic to you, and your poor pup. Unless your husband is willing to handle the dog’s care, I would rehome him. And no more dogs!

[Anonymous]

I had a dog for 15 years who has now passed and was the absolute light of my life and also... so much work. In non covid times you have to deal with dog walkers, vets bills when they get into stuff and get sick, and dealing with finding care for them when you travel. When you love the dog it’s ok bc you love them so much. If you don’t, this is going to be a real pain. I’d rehome it now as a lesson learned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The enormous stress of two kids remote learning and two full time high stress WFH jobs

Lame. You are weak and broken - don’t blame it on the poor dog.

This person is legit insane. Everyone is stressed right now, it doesn’t make any of us weak or broken, it makes us human.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the OP. Same thing happened to me and I'd get rid of the dog in an instant. So much work for very little reward. I don't get this whole dog culture - constantly cleaning up poop, wondering what the dog is chewing on or having him sit there in his cage. The house is much dirtier with a dog. The only thing stopping me from getting rid of him is this dog culture peer pressure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you were already doing the majority of parenting work, I'm not sure why you thought all of a sudden your DH would suddenly do the bulk of caring for a dog.

We have a dog, and I don't find her annoying at all. Even when I have to get up at 7am on a Sunday and walk her in the rain. Total labor of love.

Dogs love their families, and just want to be around them. If you got a puppy, they DO take a lot of work to train, but then once it's done, it's done. You just take them through their paces.

My dog keeps me company all day while I'm working. Sometimes I tell her about what's going on. "Can you believe Ashley actually suggested telling the client that?" As we're sitting down to a Zoom meeting I'll brush her hair so she looks presentable on camera - she is friends with the CFO's dog.

If she gets bored of all my work talk she goes to see what DH is working on, or she keeps the kids company. They are not allowed to pick her up unless we're there, and are not allowed to feed her without permission.

Part of having a dog, is having all family members on board with the rules for the dog.

Awww

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the OP. Same thing happened to me and I'd get rid of the dog in an instant. So much work for very little reward. I don't get this whole dog culture - constantly cleaning up poop, wondering what the dog is chewing on or having him sit there in his cage. The house is much dirtier with a dog. The only thing stopping me from getting rid of him is this dog culture peer pressure.

Ack, you should find the dog a happier home, with owners that love him. I feel terrible for your dog, being unloved this way by his own family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did this. Then we posted here. People were awful and judgy because we were bad "dog parents". We weren't, but we hated taking care of him. He was cute. And...he wasn't human. Long story short. We gave him away to a loving family that were dog people and went back to just our lovely, easy 10yo cat. You know what you want. It's OK. Do it. Life is too short.

Best answer!

OP, I agree with this. We just got a puppy and they are tons of work. (Is yours a puppy or full grown adoption? It makes a difference). I can list a bunch of ways to make life easier. But if the person who wanted the dog isn't doing most of the work......this isn't going to work. It's not fair. Not to you or the dog. It's best to rehome him.

If for some odd reason you are interested in tips to make it easier, I will list them. But right now I'm on Team Rehome!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really cannot understand people who surrender their entire quality of life to a dog.

Don’t let the dog get out!
Don’t let the dog jump on the grandma!
The neighbor is calling about the dog’s barking!
The dog ate the steak we were going to have for dinner!
The dog chewed up my new shoes!
We have to get home now to walk the dog!
Hold the dog!!!!

Ugh.

Good luck, OP.

We have two dogs. Funny, we don't have any of these issues.

Don’t let the dog get out! Doggie door to backyard. They can go out as they please.
Don’t let the dog jump on the grandma! Grandma loves them
The neighbor is calling about the dog’s barking!Don't bark at the neighbor, who loves them too
The dog ate the steak we were going to have for dinner!Can't reach the counter
The dog chewed up my new shoes!Can't open doors to get to shoes
We have to get home now to walk the dog!See answer #1
Hold the dog!!!!Between Grandma and the neighbors and kids they get held plenty

Yep, we just surrendered our whole quality of life.