Spouses sleeping in separate bedrooms
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Anonymous
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Is this often? We are in early forties, have been sleeping apart 8 years now. I hate it. DH can't sleep well at night. Our sex life has never been great but last 2 years or so got really bad. I am in great shape and he loves me a lot. He is a loyal husband but I hate this arrangement.
Anyone sleeping in separate bedrooms and happily married? |
Anonymous
| We sleep in separate bedrooms, but, no, not happily married. He claims he tosses, turns, and snores all night. I got used to that and wore ear plugs. He sleeps down the hall. The dog has taken his spot. |
Anonymous
What does being in great shape have to do with anything on this topic? Are you claiming that he should be eager to sleep in the same bed with you because you're in great shape? |
Anonymous
You know what they say...Sleep with dogs and you wake up with fleas. |
Anonymous
Tell him you want more sex. Words, actions...whatever works. You don't have to sleep in the same bed to have sex. |
Anonymous
| We are friends with a couple who has slept in separate bedrooms for at least 10 years now. One strange thing to us is that the husband tries to hide it bu the wife is very open about it. They seem to be doing ok, not great. I personally wouldn't want to sleep apart but I've read many DCUM threads where a poster says they sleep apart from their spouse and everything is wonderful. |
Anonymous
| Yes - my husband snores or uses a loud CPAP, is restless, gets up at 5am (in retirement) and starts banging around the room getting dressed. I like to stay up and late and sleep late. Sleeping in separate rooms is much better. |
Anonymous
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We sleep in different bedrooms on a regular basis. It works for us, and it doesn't seem to have any negative effects on our relationship.
1) I get up for work at 4AM, and he often doesn't even go to sleep until 2A, so we'd wake each other up constantly if we were always in the same bedroom. 2) I am a very restless sleeper and kick HARD. 3) He is a loud snorer. 4) I run "hot" and he runs "cold," so neither of us are comfortable if we have bedding or bedroom temperature that we each find comfortable, for the other is miserable. 5) We both like to sleep with a weighted blanket (except in summer for me. It is too hot). I like a 15-pound blanket, while he likes a 25-pound blanket. Those aren't compatible! 
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Anonymous
| OP here. but we have not had sex in 6 months and he completely ok with it. He has been going through some health issues but nothing too serious. |
Anonymous
Tell him you're not okay with it. |
Anonymous
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Married 40 plus years, we sleep on opposite sides of the house.
Happily married. If he wants sex I go shower then we do the the love in his bed. I go to my room after. I don't care to have sex anymore but I make myself available if he wants it. You need to sit and sort out what each of you need. |
Anonymous
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My friend needed separate bedrooms. She's a little weird and when she and her not-yet-husband were about to move in together apparently her mom took the guy aside and was like "She's a little weird, but give her this and she'll otherwise be a great wife." So he did and she is.
I don't know why she needs her own bedroom. And I don't know how often they have sex. She's the only one I know of who has this arrangement. |
Anonymous
My husband snores like a congested wildebeest. If we didn’t sleep in different rooms he’d be dead and I’d be in jail for murdering him 
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Anonymous
| I want my room so bad - DH has always struggled with flatulence, and I wake up from the smell. I managed to convince him to have separate blankets, but having separate bedrooms offends him. |
Anonymous
| Married 20+ years, happily. In the past couple of years, I often sleep in the guest room. He thrashes around and snores terribly. I need to be able to function during the work day. Separate bedrooms doesn't necessarily mean unhappy marriage. |