Are people in the DC area just a different kind of rude?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole no eye contact or acknowledgement when passing by people on the sidewalk drives me crazy.

This is not my experience at all in DC, but then most of my neighbors are longtime residents who have been here at least a couple generations. We acknowledge each other and say hi, even if we don't know each other. It's one of my favorite things about DC.

But the transplants, not so much.

Where do you live? Are you part of the Chevy Chase Blessed Sacramemt crew? That’s a whole other level of snobbery.

Omg yes! Truly the worst crowd in DC. Super snobby yet claim to be into Jesus. It didn’t make any sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading all these replies, I can’t help to think it’s very much dependent on your SES and neighborhood. Maybe it’s a thing with the UMC of the DMV who care about status. In the real world (which DCUM tends to ignore….), I don’t find this to be the case. We live in Vienna. Not in a posh neighborhood. All the parents are well educated but everyone is pretty laid back.
If everyone is your circle is an A hole, you probably are as well.

The irony here makes my heart swell. PP, you are actually in the Group of Dicks yourself if you genuinely believe what you just wrote.

Interpretation: Do you earn a lot? Do you also live in a zip code where the majority of residents earn a high salary? Why, you are likely an a$$hole!

[Anonymous]

I must not get out enough. I have definitely seen my share of rude behavior towards wait staff and store employees but I don't routinely experience rude behavior myself. Would these be your neighbors? Your coworkers? Genuinely curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people here are not from here. DC natives are pretty friendly actually.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Good one!

Guess you aren't from here.

Wrong again.

[Anonymous]

The people FROM here, who grew up here, are normal.

The people from other places are generally the worst. Its the most annoying kid from every small-town high school in America, and they all move here.

[Anonymous]

I am not from here, moved here in 1999, married a DC native and am Black. These threads about people being so rude and nasty here seem so outside my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could go south where everyone is pretending to be nice but it’s fake AF and they are petty and malicious as soon as you turn your back. People are reserved here. I’m fine with that.

Same. Even in the MidWest. Also- Everyone who says they miss Midwest or Southern friendliness is white.

Midwest resident here. This is really not true in many areas. We have more POC friends here than we ever did in Bethesda (which is as if not more segregated than our Midwestern town). Our POC friends love it here and most purposefully chose to be here because it is nice. What you are talking about might be true in rural areas, I don’t know, but it isn’t true here.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s rudeness necessarily. Instead, DC simply isn’t a fun place to live.

I lived in NW for 10+ years and I realized how little fun anyone has compared to people living in other cities or locations in the US. Most people here seem to have very few friends. Kids have birthday parties and there are work functions and charity events occasionally. Besides that, most people are dual income and busy working. At first I thought I was doing something wrong but then I started paying attention and it was obvious that most people have few friends.

DC is fun after college but then people start moving away. Then it’s an endless slog of work and taking care of kids. There isn’t a leisure class in DC and DC lacks what a lot of other cities have. There isn’t anywhere really fun to go and there isn’t a single upscale department store downtown. An exciting weekend is going to le diplomat. I mean cmon. Most people aren’t being rude on purpose. They are just bored, tired and unhappy with their lives. They have likely not had any fun in a very long time.

I moved to another large city and was shocked how much fun people have. I am now frequently attending parties and have more social plans than I ever did after ten years of living in NW DC.

Perhaps it is different in Bethesda or Arlington but I don’t think so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people FROM here, who grew up here, are normal.

The people from other places are generally the worst. Its the most annoying kid from every small-town high school in America, and they all move here.

But why? Kids from small town America also move to LA and NY and both cities are way more fun and friendlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people here are not from here. DC natives are pretty friendly actually.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Good one!

Guess you aren't from here.

Wrong again.

What part and how long have you lived here?

[Anonymous]

It's not a DC thing, it's a city thing. When you live in a dense area and are constantly surrounded by other people, psychological space is the only space and privacy you really have. Not forcing a complete stranger to acknowledge your existence is the *polite* thing to do. Of course people in rural areas are more likely to acknowledge you in passing, because how many people are they actually interacting with each day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s rudeness necessarily. Instead, DC simply isn’t a fun place to live.

I lived in NW for 10+ years and I realized how little fun anyone has compared to people living in other cities or locations in the US. Most people here seem to have very few friends. Kids have birthday parties and there are work functions and charity events occasionally. Besides that, most people are dual income and busy working. At first I thought I was doing something wrong but then I started paying attention and it was obvious that most people have few friends.

DC is fun after college but then people start moving away. Then it’s an endless slog of work and taking care of kids. There isn’t a leisure class in DC and DC lacks what a lot of other cities have. There isn’t anywhere really fun to go and there isn’t a single upscale department store downtown. An exciting weekend is going to le diplomat. I mean cmon. Most people aren’t being rude on purpose. They are just bored, tired and unhappy with their lives. They have likely not had any fun in a very long time.

I moved to another large city and was shocked how much fun people have. I am now frequently attending parties and have more social plans than I ever did after ten years of living in NW DC.

Perhaps it is different in Bethesda or Arlington but I don’t think so.

This is interesting. Some truth here but like everything it's very subject.

The biggest truth here is that among people in DC with a certain kind of education (either grad school or just "elite" undergrad degrees) there is a very work-focused culture. And yes, when people are young, it can be very work hard/play hard -- 20 somethings go out a lot in DC, and people working in high status careers can be extremely social during this time because they are often making very good money for such young people.

And yes, that changes in your 30s as people buy property (which is super expensive here so can feel like a bigger burden/investment than it does in low-COL areas) and get married/have kids. DC has a really terrible parenting culture, in my opinion. People are waaaaaay too achievement focused with kids. It's not just rich people going to private school. The charters and lottery in DC means a lot of middle class families are really fixated on maximizing opportunities for their kids and view it as a competition. Add in stuff like travel sports and other very intensive activities, and it is A LOT. It's not just that it's time consuming (it is) but it also commands a ton of energy and attention. Even when you socialize with people in this phase, it's miserable because they are just talking about their kid's school, activities, accomplishments, etc. I also have a kid but this stuff is painful for me. We are extremely selective about our parent friends because I burn out on this culture really fast -- it makes me feel anxious and I can't relax or enjoy myself in this environment.

BUT we definitely know people in DC who know how to have fun. It can be hard to find the time with work and kids, but we still do. When we can't find other people who can have fun with us, we just do it ourselves. I think some people think "fun" has to mean doing a designated activity, often something expensive or show-offy, like vacations, expensive meals, sky-diving -- the stuff people post on social media. Most of our fun involves stuff like hiking, going to the beach, making a big meal at home, hanging out at a brewery or in a backyard with friends. It's usually pretty low key and not expensive, which takes the pressure off and makes it easier to relax and enjoy ourselves. I think there are some people in DC who have lost that ability because they are so focused on achievement and competition, they don't know how to take the pressure off. We try to avoid those people and are largely successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s rudeness necessarily. Instead, DC simply isn’t a fun place to live.

I lived in NW for 10+ years and I realized how little fun anyone has compared to people living in other cities or locations in the US. Most people here seem to have very few friends. Kids have birthday parties and there are work functions and charity events occasionally. Besides that, most people are dual income and busy working. At first I thought I was doing something wrong but then I started paying attention and it was obvious that most people have few friends.

DC is fun after college but then people start moving away. Then it’s an endless slog of work and taking care of kids. There isn’t a leisure class in DC and DC lacks what a lot of other cities have. There isn’t anywhere really fun to go and there isn’t a single upscale department store downtown. An exciting weekend is going to le diplomat. I mean cmon. Most people aren’t being rude on purpose. They are just bored, tired and unhappy with their lives. They have likely not had any fun in a very long time.

I moved to another large city and was shocked how much fun people have. I am now frequently attending parties and have more social plans than I ever did after ten years of living in NW DC.

Perhaps it is different in Bethesda or Arlington but I don’t think so.

This is interesting. Some truth here but like everything it's very subject.

The biggest truth here is that among people in DC with a certain kind of education (either grad school or just "elite" undergrad degrees) there is a very work-focused culture. And yes, when people are young, it can be very work hard/play hard -- 20 somethings go out a lot in DC, and people working in high status careers can be extremely social during this time because they are often making very good money for such young people.

And yes, that changes in your 30s as people buy property (which is super expensive here so can feel like a bigger burden/investment than it does in low-COL areas) and get married/have kids. DC has a really terrible parenting culture, in my opinion. People are waaaaaay too achievement focused with kids. It's not just rich people going to private school. The charters and lottery in DC means a lot of middle class families are really fixated on maximizing opportunities for their kids and view it as a competition. Add in stuff like travel sports and other very intensive activities, and it is A LOT. It's not just that it's time consuming (it is) but it also commands a ton of energy and attention. Even when you socialize with people in this phase, it's miserable because they are just talking about their kid's school, activities, accomplishments, etc. I also have a kid but this stuff is painful for me. We are extremely selective about our parent friends because I burn out on this culture really fast -- it makes me feel anxious and I can't relax or enjoy myself in this environment.

BUT we definitely know people in DC who know how to have fun. It can be hard to find the time with work and kids, but we still do. When we can't find other people who can have fun with us, we just do it ourselves. I think some people think "fun" has to mean doing a designated activity, often something expensive or show-offy, like vacations, expensive meals, sky-diving -- the stuff people post on social media. Most of our fun involves stuff like hiking, going to the beach, making a big meal at home, hanging out at a brewery or in a backyard with friends. It's usually pretty low key and not expensive, which takes the pressure off and makes it easier to relax and enjoy ourselves. I think there are some people in DC who have lost that ability because they are so focused on achievement and competition, they don't know how to take the pressure off. We try to avoid those people and are largely successful.

There are other work centric cities in the US and people seem to have more fun!

How are you living in DC and hanging out at a brewery, backyArd with friends, going to the beach? There aren’t any nice beaches nearby. It’s typically too hot to hang in a backyard with kids. Where is a nearby brewery?

I think part of the reason people are so rude and unfriendly is the lack of ability to have fun. There aren’t many places to go have fun. Which is evident by how many people leave DC in the summer. People vacation to go have fun. If you live in NY or LA, wealthy people might head out to a place like the Hamptons for the summer but it’s still relatively close by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the worst area for obnoxious weirdos? MOCO, DC proper, or NOVA

Take your pick.

NOVA wins hands down. Biggest assholes of all time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

There are other work centric cities in the US and people seem to have more fun!

How are you living in DC and hanging out at a brewery, backyArd with friends, going to the beach? There aren’t any nice beaches nearby. It’s typically too hot to hang in a backyard with kids. Where is a nearby brewery?

I think part of the reason people are so rude and unfriendly is the lack of ability to have fun. There aren’t many places to go have fun. Which is evident by how many people leave DC in the summer. People vacation to go have fun. If you live in NY or LA, wealthy people might head out to a place like the Hamptons for the summer but it’s still relatively close by.

Nobody stays in NYC in the summer. Uptown is a ghost town in August. I have plenty of fun in DC. We have bbqs or drinks with friends, do playdates at parks or in each other's backyards, go for hikes, go to the club to swim or play tennis or golf, etc. This weekend our friends went tubing, though we couldn't join. This coming weekend I have a book club meeting with friends and a friend's bday dinner and a friend's kid's bday party.