Reply to Are people in the DC area just a different kind of rude?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t think it’s rudeness necessarily.  Instead, DC simply isn’t a fun place to live.

I lived in NW for 10+ years and I  realized how little fun anyone has compared to people living in other cities or locations in the US.  Most people here seem to have very few friends.  Kids have birthday parties and there are work functions and charity events occasionally.  Besides that, most people are dual income and busy working.  At first I thought I was doing something wrong but then I started paying attention and it was obvious that most people have few friends.

DC is fun after college but then people start moving away.  Then it’s an endless slog of work and taking care of kids.  There isn’t a leisure class in DC and DC lacks what a lot of other cities have.  There isn’t anywhere really fun to go and there isn’t a single upscale department store downtown.  An exciting weekend is going to le diplomat.  I mean cmon.  Most people aren’t being rude on purpose.  They are just bored, tired and unhappy with their lives.  They have likely not had any fun in a very long time.

I moved to another large city and was shocked how much fun people have.  I am now frequently attending parties and have more social plans than I ever did after ten years of living in NW DC.

Perhaps it is different in Bethesda or Arlington but I don’t think so.  [/quote]

This is interesting. Some truth here but like everything it's very subject.

The biggest truth here is that among people in DC with a certain kind of education (either grad school or just "elite" undergrad degrees) there is a very work-focused culture. And yes, when people are young, it can be very work hard/play hard -- 20 somethings go out a lot in DC, and people working in high status careers can be extremely social during this time because they are often making very good money for such young people.

And yes, that changes in your 30s as people buy property (which is super expensive here so can feel like a bigger burden/investment than it does in low-COL areas) and get married/have kids. DC has a really terrible parenting culture, in my opinion. People are waaaaaay too achievement focused with kids. It's not just rich people going to private school. The charters and lottery in DC means a lot of middle class families are really fixated on maximizing opportunities for their kids and view it as a competition. Add in stuff like travel sports and other very intensive activities, and it is A LOT. It's not just that it's time consuming (it is) but it also commands a ton of energy and attention. Even when you socialize with people in this phase, it's miserable because they are just talking about their kid's school, activities, accomplishments, etc. I also have a kid but this stuff is painful for me. We are extremely selective about our parent friends because I burn out on this culture really fast -- it makes me feel anxious and I can't relax or enjoy myself in this environment.

BUT we definitely know people in DC who know how to have fun. It can be hard to find the time with work and kids, but we still do. When we can't find other people who can have fun with us, we just do it ourselves. I think some people think "fun" has to mean doing a designated activity, often something expensive or show-offy, like vacations, expensive meals, sky-diving -- the stuff people post on social media. Most of our fun involves stuff like hiking, going to the beach, making a big meal at home, hanging out at a brewery or in a backyard with friends. It's usually pretty low key and not expensive, which takes the pressure off and makes it easier to relax and enjoy ourselves. I think there are some people in DC who have lost that ability because they are so focused on achievement and competition, they don't know how to take the pressure off. We try to avoid those people and are largely successful.[/quote]

There are other work centric cities in the US and people seem to have more fun!

How are you living in DC and hanging out at a brewery, backyArd with friends, going to the beach?   There aren’t any nice beaches nearby.  It’s typically too hot to hang in a backyard with kids.  Where is a nearby brewery?

I think part of the reason people are so rude and unfriendly is the lack of ability to have fun.  There aren’t many places to go have fun.  Which is evident by how many people leave DC in the summer.  People vacation to go have fun.  If you live in NY or LA, wealthy people might head out to a place like the Hamptons for the summer but it’s still relatively close by.

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