Are people in the DC area just a different kind of rude?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s some kind of weird insecurity. I know exactly what you are talking about.

Flyover state rubes who feel like they've "made it" abandoning their cowtown family for some consulting or low-level fed fake meaningless laptop job. And others who are insecure about being in D.C. instead of the perceived to be more cosmopolitan New York, (Boston?), LA, SF... London, Paris, etc.

This attitude is an example of the "different kind of rude" in DC.

I am from a "cowtown" in a "flyover state." I moved here because I wanted a job other than waitress/schoolteacher/farmer/local business owner, which were the only jobs available to me where I grew up. I wound up in DC because this is where I got into grad school, and I found the weather, cost of living, and general vibe pretty good. It has worked out well for me because there are many more opportunities for my kids here, I make a lot more money than I would back home, and it's nice to be around lots of educated people.

But I guess it's good to know what you think of me? I don't have insecurity about living in DC instead of somewhere like NY or SF -- I wouldn't want to live in those places because of the cost of living and the lifestyle would not suit me. I think a major reason DC attracts a lot of transplants is because it's easier to live here coming from the South or the Midwest -- it's not as built out, a lot of neighborhoods feel pretty suburban even in the city, it just feels pretty approachable and not that different than St. Louis or Chicago or Atlanta or Houston. It's also not huge. I don't get the sense that many people in DC are privately pining to live in NYC, beyond maybe some people in their 20s? I definitely don't know any middle aged people with kids who think of DC as some step down from those other cities. Raising kids in NYC or SF sounds like an expensive PITA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s some kind of weird insecurity. I know exactly what you are talking about.

Flyover state rubes who feel like they've "made it" abandoning their cowtown family for some consulting or low-level fed fake meaningless laptop job. And others who are insecure about being in D.C. instead of the perceived to be more cosmopolitan New York, (Boston?), LA, SF... London, Paris, etc.

This attitude is an example of the "different kind of rude" in DC.

I am from a "cowtown" in a "flyover state." I moved here because I wanted a job other than waitress/schoolteacher/farmer/local business owner, which were the only jobs available to me where I grew up. I wound up in DC because this is where I got into grad school, and I found the weather, cost of living, and general vibe pretty good. It has worked out well for me because there are many more opportunities for my kids here, I make a lot more money than I would back home, and it's nice to be around lots of educated people.

But I guess it's good to know what you think of me? I don't have insecurity about living in DC instead of somewhere like NY or SF -- I wouldn't want to live in those places because of the cost of living and the lifestyle would not suit me. I think a major reason DC attracts a lot of transplants is because it's easier to live here coming from the South or the Midwest -- it's not as built out, a lot of neighborhoods feel pretty suburban even in the city, it just feels pretty approachable and not that different than St. Louis or Chicago or Atlanta or Houston. It's also not huge. I don't get the sense that many people in DC are privately pining to live in NYC, beyond maybe some people in their 20s? I definitely don't know any middle aged people with kids who think of DC as some step down from those other cities. Raising kids in NYC or SF sounds like an expensive PITA.

You really need to know your place. Their are generational government workers in this area that are entitled to those positions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the only place I have ever lived where every single SAHM has to tell you what her job was before she had kids. We call them the "used to be's". Everyone always has to tell you that she used to be a lawyer within five or ten minutes of meeting her. Who cares? You're not a lawyer now, are you?

This is not my experience.

But I can understand why they do this. The DC area is the only place I have lived where everyone asks you what you do for a living. So answering that you are a SAHM probably discombobulates the questioner. Hence they feel the need to say what they did before being a mom.

Not a fan of the career-obsessed culture here.

I agree. People also look down on SAHMs more here than the do other places I've lived. I work, but I've heard other parents say the most derisive things about women who don't and I think it's so weird. I'm not surprised a lot of SAHMs are defensive and feel the need to let people know they are educated or have done serious work in the past.

Once my husband and I noted to another couple that we are not super ambitious career-wise (we are middle management and a few years back we realized we didn't really have aspirations beyond that and are okay just staying at this level until retirement and then pursuing bigger passions in retirement). Their response made it seem like we'd just told them we used heroine casually on the weekends. It was especially weird because it's not like they were career superstars. They are midlevel government attorneys. But just saying out loud that we are not pushing to rise up or make more money in our careers at this point felt controversial. So weird.

With some exceptions, fed lawyers are the failures of their law school class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s some kind of weird insecurity. I know exactly what you are talking about.

Flyover state rubes who feel like they've "made it" abandoning their cowtown family for some consulting or low-level fed fake meaningless laptop job. And others who are insecure about being in D.C. instead of the perceived to be more cosmopolitan New York, (Boston?), LA, SF... London, Paris, etc.

This attitude is an example of the "different kind of rude" in DC.

I am from a "cowtown" in a "flyover state." I moved here because I wanted a job other than waitress/schoolteacher/farmer/local business owner, which were the only jobs available to me where I grew up. I wound up in DC because this is where I got into grad school, and I found the weather, cost of living, and general vibe pretty good. It has worked out well for me because there are many more opportunities for my kids here, I make a lot more money than I would back home, and it's nice to be around lots of educated people.

But I guess it's good to know what you think of me? I don't have insecurity about living in DC instead of somewhere like NY or SF -- I wouldn't want to live in those places because of the cost of living and the lifestyle would not suit me. I think a major reason DC attracts a lot of transplants is because it's easier to live here coming from the South or the Midwest -- it's not as built out, a lot of neighborhoods feel pretty suburban even in the city, it just feels pretty approachable and not that different than St. Louis or Chicago or Atlanta or Houston. It's also not huge. I don't get the sense that many people in DC are privately pining to live in NYC, beyond maybe some people in their 20s? I definitely don't know any middle aged people with kids who think of DC as some step down from those other cities. Raising kids in NYC or SF sounds like an expensive PITA.

You really need to know your place. Their are generational government workers in this area that are entitled to those positions.

Sarcasm right?

[Anonymous]

1000% OP. I'll never fit in from Chicago even after 20+ years here. Everyone is either an obnoxious lobbyist, no imagination lawyer or a boring defense/fed contractor or worker. I mean there are no business/market folks here. The food here they think is great - they have no idea. The more it costs the better they think it is or every place sells burgers. I long for NYC, Chicago or SFO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s some kind of weird insecurity. I know exactly what you are talking about.

Flyover state rubes who feel like they've "made it" abandoning their cowtown family for some consulting or low-level fed fake meaningless laptop job. And others who are insecure about being in D.C. instead of the perceived to be more cosmopolitan New York, (Boston?), LA, SF... London, Paris, etc.

This attitude is an example of the "different kind of rude" in DC.

I am from a "cowtown" in a "flyover state." I moved here because I wanted a job other than waitress/schoolteacher/farmer/local business owner, which were the only jobs available to me where I grew up. I wound up in DC because this is where I got into grad school, and I found the weather, cost of living, and general vibe pretty good. It has worked out well for me because there are many more opportunities for my kids here, I make a lot more money than I would back home, and it's nice to be around lots of educated people.

But I guess it's good to know what you think of me? I don't have insecurity about living in DC instead of somewhere like NY or SF -- I wouldn't want to live in those places because of the cost of living and the lifestyle would not suit me. I think a major reason DC attracts a lot of transplants is because it's easier to live here coming from the South or the Midwest -- it's not as built out, a lot of neighborhoods feel pretty suburban even in the city, it just feels pretty approachable and not that different than St. Louis or Chicago or Atlanta or Houston. It's also not huge. I don't get the sense that many people in DC are privately pining to live in NYC, beyond maybe some people in their 20s? I definitely don't know any middle aged people with kids who think of DC as some step down from those other cities. Raising kids in NYC or SF sounds like an expensive PITA.

You confusing two different sets of people. Folks from Hicktown, Midwest, USA feel big time in DC, while more cosmopolitan people tend to feel DC lacks the sophistication of tier 1 global cities. If you're a wealthy foreigner or you went to an Ivy and most of your classmates landed in NYC, California and London after college, DC feels a rung below.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s some kind of weird insecurity. I know exactly what you are talking about.

Flyover state rubes who feel like they've "made it" abandoning their cowtown family for some consulting or low-level fed fake meaningless laptop job. And others who are insecure about being in D.C. instead of the perceived to be more cosmopolitan New York, (Boston?), LA, SF... London, Paris, etc.

This attitude is an example of the "different kind of rude" in DC.

I am from a "cowtown" in a "flyover state." I moved here because I wanted a job other than waitress/schoolteacher/farmer/local business owner, which were the only jobs available to me where I grew up. I wound up in DC because this is where I got into grad school, and I found the weather, cost of living, and general vibe pretty good. It has worked out well for me because there are many more opportunities for my kids here, I make a lot more money than I would back home, and it's nice to be around lots of educated people.

But I guess it's good to know what you think of me? I don't have insecurity about living in DC instead of somewhere like NY or SF -- I wouldn't want to live in those places because of the cost of living and the lifestyle would not suit me. I think a major reason DC attracts a lot of transplants is because it's easier to live here coming from the South or the Midwest -- it's not as built out, a lot of neighborhoods feel pretty suburban even in the city, it just feels pretty approachable and not that different than St. Louis or Chicago or Atlanta or Houston. It's also not huge. I don't get the sense that many people in DC are privately pining to live in NYC, beyond maybe some people in their 20s? I definitely don't know any middle aged people with kids who think of DC as some step down from those other cities. Raising kids in NYC or SF sounds like an expensive PITA.

You really need to know your place. Their are generational government workers in this area that are entitled to those positions.

Sarcasm right?

Of course. I never understood why people aren't allowed to move to this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1000% OP. I'll never fit in from Chicago even after 20+ years here. Everyone is either an obnoxious lobbyist, no imagination lawyer or a boring defense/fed contractor or worker. I mean there are no business/market folks here. The food here they think is great - they have no idea. The more it costs the better they think it is or every place sells burgers. I long for NYC, Chicago or SFO.

You certainly seem rude, but I won't hold it against the whole metro area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s some kind of weird insecurity. I know exactly what you are talking about.

Flyover state rubes who feel like they've "made it" abandoning their cowtown family for some consulting or low-level fed fake meaningless laptop job. And others who are insecure about being in D.C. instead of the perceived to be more cosmopolitan New York, (Boston?), LA, SF... London, Paris, etc.

This attitude is an example of the "different kind of rude" in DC.

I am from a "cowtown" in a "flyover state." I moved here because I wanted a job other than waitress/schoolteacher/farmer/local business owner, which were the only jobs available to me where I grew up. I wound up in DC because this is where I got into grad school, and I found the weather, cost of living, and general vibe pretty good. It has worked out well for me because there are many more opportunities for my kids here, I make a lot more money than I would back home, and it's nice to be around lots of educated people.

But I guess it's good to know what you think of me? I don't have insecurity about living in DC instead of somewhere like NY or SF -- I wouldn't want to live in those places because of the cost of living and the lifestyle would not suit me. I think a major reason DC attracts a lot of transplants is because it's easier to live here coming from the South or the Midwest -- it's not as built out, a lot of neighborhoods feel pretty suburban even in the city, it just feels pretty approachable and not that different than St. Louis or Chicago or Atlanta or Houston. It's also not huge. I don't get the sense that many people in DC are privately pining to live in NYC, beyond maybe some people in their 20s? I definitely don't know any middle aged people with kids who think of DC as some step down from those other cities. Raising kids in NYC or SF sounds like an expensive PITA.

You really need to know your place. Their are generational government workers in this area that are entitled to those positions.

So dry. So pithy. Love you PP. Never get dull.

[Anonymous]

Not sure why this thread was resurrected. I don’t find people here any worse than where I grew up, but where I grew up was a rich suburb of a major city. I also grew up thinking high my high level of anxiety was just the norm.
People are ridiculously type A. It’s tiresome.
Very thankful that in middle age I just do not care any more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s some kind of weird insecurity. I know exactly what you are talking about.

Flyover state rubes who feel like they've "made it" abandoning their cowtown family for some consulting or low-level fed fake meaningless laptop job. And others who are insecure about being in D.C. instead of the perceived to be more cosmopolitan New York, (Boston?), LA, SF... London, Paris, etc.

This attitude is an example of the "different kind of rude" in DC.

I am from a "cowtown" in a "flyover state." I moved here because I wanted a job other than waitress/schoolteacher/farmer/local business owner, which were the only jobs available to me where I grew up. I wound up in DC because this is where I got into grad school, and I found the weather, cost of living, and general vibe pretty good. It has worked out well for me because there are many more opportunities for my kids here, I make a lot more money than I would back home, and it's nice to be around lots of educated people.

But I guess it's good to know what you think of me? I don't have insecurity about living in DC instead of somewhere like NY or SF -- I wouldn't want to live in those places because of the cost of living and the lifestyle would not suit me. I think a major reason DC attracts a lot of transplants is because it's easier to live here coming from the South or the Midwest -- it's not as built out, a lot of neighborhoods feel pretty suburban even in the city, it just feels pretty approachable and not that different than St. Louis or Chicago or Atlanta or Houston. It's also not huge. I don't get the sense that many people in DC are privately pining to live in NYC, beyond maybe some people in their 20s? I definitely don't know any middle aged people with kids who think of DC as some step down from those other cities. Raising kids in NYC or SF sounds like an expensive PITA.

You confusing two different sets of people. Folks from Hicktown, Midwest, USA feel big time in DC, while more cosmopolitan people tend to feel DC lacks the sophistication of tier 1 global cities. If you're a wealthy foreigner or you went to an Ivy and most of your classmates landed in NYC, California and London after college, DC feels a rung below.

So many over generalizations. And I say this as someone who went to a top tier Ivy and lived in Manhattan for over a decade. But then I’m less focused on someone else’s sense of “rungs” and more focused on actual accomplishments and being a part of a comfortable community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the only place I have ever lived where every single SAHM has to tell you what her job was before she had kids. We call them the "used to be's". Everyone always has to tell you that she used to be a lawyer within five or ten minutes of meeting her. Who cares? You're not a lawyer now, are you?

This is not my experience.

But I can understand why they do this. The DC area is the only place I have lived where everyone asks you what you do for a living. So answering that you are a SAHM probably discombobulates the questioner. Hence they feel the need to say what they did before being a mom.

Not a fan of the career-obsessed culture here.

I agree. People also look down on SAHMs more here than the do other places I've lived. I work, but I've heard other parents say the most derisive things about women who don't and I think it's so weird. I'm not surprised a lot of SAHMs are defensive and feel the need to let people know they are educated or have done serious work in the past.

Once my husband and I noted to another couple that we are not super ambitious career-wise (we are middle management and a few years back we realized we didn't really have aspirations beyond that and are okay just staying at this level until retirement and then pursuing bigger passions in retirement). Their response made it seem like we'd just told them we used heroine casually on the weekends. It was especially weird because it's not like they were career superstars. They are midlevel government attorneys. But just saying out loud that we are not pushing to rise up or make more money in our careers at this point felt controversial. So weird.

With some exceptions, fed lawyers are the failures of their law school class.

Some exceptions = significant portions of DOJ, treasury, commerce/ITC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s some kind of weird insecurity. I know exactly what you are talking about.

Flyover state rubes who feel like they've "made it" abandoning their cowtown family for some consulting or low-level fed fake meaningless laptop job. And others who are insecure about being in D.C. instead of the perceived to be more cosmopolitan New York, (Boston?), LA, SF... London, Paris, etc.

This attitude is an example of the "different kind of rude" in DC.

I am from a "cowtown" in a "flyover state." I moved here because I wanted a job other than waitress/schoolteacher/farmer/local business owner, which were the only jobs available to me where I grew up. I wound up in DC because this is where I got into grad school, and I found the weather, cost of living, and general vibe pretty good. It has worked out well for me because there are many more opportunities for my kids here, I make a lot more money than I would back home, and it's nice to be around lots of educated people.

But I guess it's good to know what you think of me? I don't have insecurity about living in DC instead of somewhere like NY or SF -- I wouldn't want to live in those places because of the cost of living and the lifestyle would not suit me. I think a major reason DC attracts a lot of transplants is because it's easier to live here coming from the South or the Midwest -- it's not as built out, a lot of neighborhoods feel pretty suburban even in the city, it just feels pretty approachable and not that different than St. Louis or Chicago or Atlanta or Houston. It's also not huge. I don't get the sense that many people in DC are privately pining to live in NYC, beyond maybe some people in their 20s? I definitely don't know any middle aged people with kids who think of DC as some step down from those other cities. Raising kids in NYC or SF sounds like an expensive PITA.

You really need to know your place. Their are generational government workers in this area that are entitled to those positions.

Those are postal letter carriers