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[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can I stop dreaming while I sleep?

There is probably a drug for that.

Propofol. Every night is a good night.

Like Ice cube, but the song, not the one melting in my pants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen keeps sneaking out after we fall asleep. What should we do?

Lock the door.

But... change the locks first.

Add motion sensor alarm

And donuts on his ankles, then electroshock therapy.

Ooh!! Great suggestion! That and pitties cigars are my favorite

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I disagree on tipping. I say 20% unless the service is really bad and he says 10% unless they perform the heimlich in which case he’ll leave 15%. What should I do?

Stop going out to eat with your DH. It leads to fights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What type of jeans should I buy?

You should wear dresses.

Very provocative ones

That are flannel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I disagree on tipping. I say 20% unless the service is really bad and he says 10% unless they perform the heimlich in which case he’ll leave 15%. What should I do?

Stop going out to eat with your DH. It leads to fights.

This. Actually, they should stop eating since it leads to getting fat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m dating a guy who is really great but lots of time he’ll say “I f@cking hate you” plus he has two separate “no fat chicks” t shirts. Are those red flags?

It depends. Are you fat? Don't have kids with him unless you adopt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m at that age where I can’t tell if my kid’s camp counselors are high school students, college students, or teachers well into their thirties with kids of their own. How do I cover for myself?

Don’t. Just do what you want and let the chips fall where they may.

[Anonymous]

How do I know if someone I just met is a psycho?

[Anonymous]

How many slices of fruit do you have a day? Are they candied?

[Anonymous]

How should I organize my spices?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do I know if someone I just met is a psycho?

Btdt. Befriend his ex, gain her trust, arrange a girls weekend at a secluded cabin, wait till she’s falling asleep and ask her all about him!

[Anonymous]

I need a new career after being a SAHM a long time. What job should I get?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How should I organize my spices?

Molarity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do I know if someone I just met is a psycho?

Sleep with them right away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I need a new career after being a SAHM a long time. What job should I get?

Run for Senate