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[Anonymous]

^more milk

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do I stop the sun from shining during the summer? I can’t sleep when there is light.

Buy a coffin to sleep in or move to Forks, WA. While it is cloudy enough to not worry about the light, the upside is that when the sun is shining you'll sparkle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw a person at the park and I am pretty sure they stared at me? Should I sue for libel or start with the police?

Neither. It might be your soul mate. Get their phone number.

some call it stalking some call it love

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can I save money to buy a house in Arlington when I make $50K a year? I’m 28 and have 3 kittens.

Give happy ending massages

Or give the "yoni" massage a PP asked about.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I disagree on tipping. I say 20% unless the service is really bad and he says 10% unless they perform the heimlich in which case he’ll leave 15%. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen keeps sneaking out after we fall asleep. What should we do?

Lock the door.

But... change the locks first.

Yes, change the locks . . . after they sneak out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I disagree on tipping. I say 20% unless the service is really bad and he says 10% unless they perform the heimlich in which case he’ll leave 15%. What should I do?

couples therapy for cheapos, consider divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I disagree on tipping. I say 20% unless the service is really bad and he says 10% unless they perform the heimlich in which case he’ll leave 15%. What should I do?

Divorce already. How do you not know this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I disagree on tipping. I say 20% unless the service is really bad and he says 10% unless they perform the heimlich in which case he’ll leave 15%. What should I do?

Make him choke on his food and let them perform the heimlich on him then see how much he wants to tip.

[Anonymous]

I’m dating a guy who is really great but lots of time he’ll say “I f@cking hate you” plus he has two separate “no fat chicks” t shirts. Are those red flags?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Should I start an Only Fans? My only content will be me reading a book out loud each night while wearing inappropriately unsexy PJs.

Yes. Start distributing social media links with your church prayer group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband really wants us to go on a lake vacation with his family but the two of us would need to sleep in a lean-to by the cistern and the baby would need to be in the (securely docked) canoe. Wdyt?

Triple knot the canoe & enjoy. Yolo.

+1. We did this and it worked fine. Also survived when it was storming everything was fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m dating a guy who is really great but lots of time he’ll say “I f@cking hate you” plus he has two separate “no fat chicks” t shirts. Are those red flags?

No. He is smart to express himself emotionally and he is smart to be weight conscious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen keeps sneaking out after we fall asleep. What should we do?

Lock the door.

But... change the locks first.

Yes, change the locks . . . after they sneak out.

That actually morphed into good advice. I say just lock the door. Or, leave it unlocked.

[Anonymous]

I’m at that age where I can’t tell if my kid’s camp counselors are high school students, college students, or teachers well into their thirties with kids of their own. How do I cover for myself?