Living a double life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you were living a double life, and allowed to get away with it for years and years, would you? Would you pretend to be someone you are not? How far would you take it? Would you be willing to risk and involve your spouse, extended family and children, if needed? Would you act superior even though you are a fraud (would that be part of it)? Would you tell lies about other people to detract from your situation?

Curious about what makes people think that they fool other people, and to what extent they think they fool other people, especially if their family is involved. Also wondering how far people are willing to go.

I did it with two girlfriends for one year it was exhausting. Particularly around Valentine’s Day or New Years. In the end I got sugar in my gas tank, and almost arrested. It was only then I realized which life I would have liked better.

Apparently the second tier girl I was plan A. She freaked out as I dumped her and confessed what was going on. Well kinda of as left off a few details. She flipped out way more.

Now to add to madness I had a girl C. But I kinda dropped girl C around 10 months earlier. She flipped out even more. Apparently around nine months after break up she got sexually assulted and Blaimed me as if we worked out would not have been there.

I realized my double and at one point triple life was a headache

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had an AP for 9 years. No one knows.

That's just it. The fact that a double life can possibly go on for years and years is flabbergasting.

The fact that the person doing it can act like they're not, is absolute sociopath/psychopath material.

I'm the person with the AP. I agree in the abstract it sounds sociopathic to compartmentalize that way, but in practice it seems relatable. We have alone time together every day at work and then we don't talk on weekends or evenings. Don't most people have a work life their spouse doesn't know every detail of?

PP again. In fact it's kinda like my workday is my pleasurable romantic relationship time and my home life is my work time coordinating and managing schedules and household.

Why not divorce? 9 years is a serious commitment and it sounds like you aren't happy in your marriage.

We both have kids and want to prioritize their stability.

So you are both using your spouses and then at empty nest you will spring a divorce out of the blue? What a couple of complete loser a_holes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I've had an AP for 9 years. No one knows.


That's just it. The fact that a double life can possibly go on for years and years is flabbergasting.

The fact that the person doing it can act like they're not, is absolute sociopath/psychopath material.


I'm the person with the AP. I agree in the abstract it sounds sociopathic to compartmentalize that way, but in practice it seems relatable. We have alone time together every day at work and then we don't talk on weekends or evenings. Don't most people have a work life their spouse doesn't know every detail of?


PP again. In fact it's kinda like my workday is my pleasurable romantic relationship time and my home life is my work time coordinating and managing schedules and household.

Wow you have really rationalized this to yourself. Yes, most people don’t share every detail of their work day with their spouses, but most people aren’t cheating and lying about their lives to other people. Don’t pretend what you are doing is normal or acceptable. Like PP said, you sound sociopathic to someone extent, or you have a personality disorder.

I'm not pretending it's normal or acceptable - hence not telling anyone about it. That said, my husband is a mentally ill pain in the a** who prefers a platonic relationship with me, so no I don't feel much guilt and I think my choices are understandable when you hear the whole story. Still not "acceptable" or ideal, but understandable.

To another PP, no, no alcoholics or abuse in my upbringing.

omg. when his wife or your husband finds out ....that workplace is going to blow up. one of you better start looking for a new job. pronto

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had an AP for 9 years. No one knows.

That's just it. The fact that a double life can possibly go on for years and years is flabbergasting.

The fact that the person doing it can act like they're not, is absolute sociopath/psychopath material.

I'm the person with the AP. I agree in the abstract it sounds sociopathic to compartmentalize that way, but in practice it seems relatable. We have alone time together every day at work and then we don't talk on weekends or evenings. Don't most people have a work life their spouse doesn't know every detail of?

PP again. In fact it's kinda like my workday is my pleasurable romantic relationship time and my home life is my work time coordinating and managing schedules and household.

Why not divorce? 9 years is a serious commitment and it sounds like you aren't happy in your marriage.

Because they want to have their cake and eat it, too - no matter who they damage. Like most selfish people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were living a double life, and allowed to get away with it for years and years, would you? Would you pretend to be someone you are not? How far would you take it? Would you be willing to risk and involve your spouse, extended family and children, if needed? Would you act superior even though you are a fraud (would that be part of it)? Would you tell lies about other people to detract from your situation?

Curious about what makes people think that they fool other people, and to what extent they think they fool other people, especially if their family is involved. Also wondering how far people are willing to go.

I did it with two girlfriends for one year it was exhausting. Particularly around Valentine’s Day or New Years. In the end I got sugar in my gas tank, and almost arrested. It was only then I realized which life I would have liked better.

Apparently the second tier girl I was plan A. She freaked out as I dumped her and confessed what was going on. Well kinda of as left off a few details. She flipped out way more.

Now to add to madness I had a girl C. But I kinda dropped girl C around 10 months earlier. She flipped out even more. Apparently around nine months after break up she got sexually assulted and Blaimed me as if we worked out would not have been there.

I realized my double and at one point triple life was a headache

I know you, you’re a hot mess but quite likeable. I hope you’ve learned your lesson. Probably not. SmH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had an AP for 9 years. No one knows.

That's just it. The fact that a double life can possibly go on for years and years is flabbergasting.

The fact that the person doing it can act like they're not, is absolute sociopath/psychopath material.

I'm the person with the AP. I agree in the abstract it sounds sociopathic to compartmentalize that way, but in practice it seems relatable. We have alone time together every day at work and then we don't talk on weekends or evenings. Don't most people have a work life their spouse doesn't know every detail of?

PP again. In fact it's kinda like my workday is my pleasurable romantic relationship time and my home life is my work time coordinating and managing schedules and household.

Why not divorce? 9 years is a serious commitment and it sounds like you aren't happy in your marriage.

We both have kids and want to prioritize their stability.

LOL that ship has sailed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had an AP for 9 years. No one knows.

That's just it. The fact that a double life can possibly go on for years and years is flabbergasting.

The fact that the person doing it can act like they're not, is absolute sociopath/psychopath material.

I'm the person with the AP. I agree in the abstract it sounds sociopathic to compartmentalize that way, but in practice it seems relatable. We have alone time together every day at work and then we don't talk on weekends or evenings. Don't most people have a work life their spouse doesn't know every detail of?

PP again. In fact it's kinda like my workday is my pleasurable romantic relationship time and my home life is my work time coordinating and managing schedules and household.

Why not divorce? 9 years is a serious commitment and it sounds like you aren't happy in your marriage.

We both have kids and want to prioritize their stability.

LOL that ship has sailed!

So a divorce and moving and changing schools and switching off custody is more stable?

[Anonymous]

To the person claiming catholic guilt— CIA loves Catholics bc were the best liars! One life in public, another for your mother.

[Anonymous]

Does anyone remember that big law guy who was living a double life - secretly gay? He was murdered in that hotel by Logan Circle.

I think about him every time I pass that hotel, and I think of his poor wife, waiting for him to come home that night.

Such a tragedy.

[Anonymous]

A lot of folks are platonic with wife. Literally I have no clue when I had sex with my wife last. Maybe 5-10 years. So if cheating hard to feel guilt

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had an AP for 9 years. No one knows.

That's just it. The fact that a double life can possibly go on for years and years is flabbergasting.

The fact that the person doing it can act like they're not, is absolute sociopath/psychopath material.

I'm the person with the AP. I agree in the abstract it sounds sociopathic to compartmentalize that way, but in practice it seems relatable. We have alone time together every day at work and then we don't talk on weekends or evenings. Don't most people have a work life their spouse doesn't know every detail of?

PP again. In fact it's kinda like my workday is my pleasurable romantic relationship time and my home life is my work time coordinating and managing schedules and household.

Why not divorce? 9 years is a serious commitment and it sounds like you aren't happy in your marriage.

We both have kids and want to prioritize their stability.

LOL that ship has sailed!

So a divorce and moving and changing schools and switching off custody is more stable?

Yes! Or breaking it off with your AP and putting that romantic energy towards your wife. When the kids learn the truth your years of lying will blow things up much worse. You’ve made their whole family life a fiction. They will hate you.