Do women seriously have salary requirements when dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The top earning 10% to 20% of men would rather marry the pretty, happy-go-lucky, kind-hearted waitress with the two-year community college degree who takes good care of the home and is willing to raise their children herself instead of sending them to factory daycare, but thanks for playing. A well-off guy doesn't care about your money and sees your 70-hour a week career as a red flag to having a long-lasting, fulfilling relationship. He wants, and can get, better than that. Continue on with your delusions, ladies. You're making me laugh. You guys are hilarious!!

Great. Go for it. Find that beautiful, intelligent, hard working waitress who is willing to let you look down on her and treat her like a second-class citizen. As we all know, anyone who goes to community college must have no dreams or aspirations of their own, and will wake up every day feeling lucky to spend her life catering to your needs.

What an arrogant POS like the other dcum poster dogging on 60k earners as loser level income earners. WTF is wrong with you people? You're all toxic. I went to comm college and transferred to a 4 yr then got a scholarship to a law school in the area. There are many ways to become rich in this area other than going to an IVY. The quickest is being born ambitious or rich but all of you are like blood sucking ticks who have to dog on people and think you are better but really you're just hateful because you hate your own life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The top earning 10% to 20% of men would rather marry the pretty, happy-go-lucky, kind-hearted waitress with the two-year community college degree who takes good care of the home and is willing to raise their children herself instead of sending them to factory daycare, but thanks for playing. A well-off guy doesn't care about your money and sees your 70-hour a week career as a red flag to having a long-lasting, fulfilling relationship. He wants, and can get, better than that. Continue on with your delusions, ladies. You're making me laugh. You guys are hilarious!!

Great. Go for it. Find that beautiful, intelligent, hard working waitress who is willing to let you look down on her and treat her like a second-class citizen. As we all know, anyone who goes to community college must have no dreams or aspirations of their own, and will wake up every day feeling lucky to spend her life catering to your needs.

What an arrogant POS like the other dcum poster dogging on 60k earners as loser level income earners. WTF is wrong with you people? You're all toxic. I went to comm college and transferred to a 4 yr then got a scholarship to a law school in the area. There are many ways to become rich in this area other than going to an IVY. The quickest is being born ambitious or rich but all of you are like blood sucking ticks who have to dog on people and think you are better but really you're just hateful because you hate your own life!

Are you dating waitresses with a two year degree? I doubt it. You are also a snob.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The top earning 10% to 20% of men would rather marry the pretty, happy-go-lucky, kind-hearted waitress with the two-year community college degree who takes good care of the home and is willing to raise their children herself instead of sending them to factory daycare, but thanks for playing. A well-off guy doesn't care about your money and sees your 70-hour a week career as a red flag to having a long-lasting, fulfilling relationship. He wants, and can get, better than that. Continue on with your delusions, ladies. You're making me laugh. You guys are hilarious!!

I don’t know a single wealthy man who married a waitress. Or even a woman without a 4 year degree. And my social circle is more top 1% than top 20%. Not even in second or third marriages.

You have not seen it because it doesn’t really happen. I’ve seen this type of response many times before on here and I assume the person (people?) saying it is either genuinely confused or, more likely, trolling.

Maybe in that persons town, the top 10% is truck drivers having his pick between tellers, baristas and dog walkers.

I think so, too. I’m from a working class background. Actually, we were poor most of the time I was growing up because my mom was very ill and my dad started a secret second family. In my extended family, you were considered well off if you were a teacher, nurse, or a store manager. I’m two generations removed from farm laborers and domestics. The older generation is agog at the jobs my generation and our kids have. Doctors. Professors. Engineers. A cousin is a state’s atty.

Some of us married people who earned less, but no one with a high income has married someone who was a waitress or other minimum wage worker. The middle class is too unstable to take that risk.

[Anonymous]

I’m laughing at the people asking “this isn’t real” when a divorced person says they will seek to partner up equally. It’s almost like men don’t like hearing that they’re being judged- we women are so used to it no one objects when people tell a woman “NO one wants YOU and your divorced trash self and trash kid” . But god forbid an accomplished successful woman says they don’t want to be partnered with an low earning spouse. I’ve already been resented once for my wealth (by ex husband), not doing it again. There is nothing crazy or arrogant about that.

[Anonymous]

I married a journalist. I'm in non profit . We are doing fine. My only requirement was employment and being interesting. I also think being well read and well educated was much more important to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The top earning 10% to 20% of men would rather marry the pretty, happy-go-lucky, kind-hearted waitress with the two-year community college degree who takes good care of the home and is willing to raise their children herself instead of sending them to factory daycare, but thanks for playing. A well-off guy doesn't care about your money and sees your 70-hour a week career as a red flag to having a long-lasting, fulfilling relationship. He wants, and can get, better than that. Continue on with your delusions, ladies. You're making me laugh. You guys are hilarious!!

Great. Go for it. Find that beautiful, intelligent, hard working waitress who is willing to let you look down on her and treat her like a second-class citizen. As we all know, anyone who goes to community college must have no dreams or aspirations of their own, and will wake up every day feeling lucky to spend her life catering to your needs.

What an arrogant POS like the other dcum poster dogging on 60k earners as loser level income earners. WTF is wrong with you people? You're all toxic. I went to comm college and transferred to a 4 yr then got a scholarship to a law school in the area. There are many ways to become rich in this area other than going to an IVY. The quickest is being born ambitious or rich but all of you are like blood sucking ticks who have to dog on people and think you are better but really you're just hateful because you hate your own life!

Woah...that was sarcastic.
The kind, beautiful waitress who is dying to be a SAHM and follow her husband around like a puppy is a fantasy. Real people are multidimensional, and everyone brings their own needs and baggage into a relationship, regardless of their degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met my husband when I was 24. Neither of us earned much, but I earned more than he did. It really didn't matter to me. It's not like we had a lot of expenses. He was cute and smart and nice and had a great family, and I was confident that I was going to go and have a career, at least.

In retrospect, I do think there's something to be said for the idea that if you have children together, you're going to be doing the pregnancy/labor part and also most likely being the primary parent and managing things at home, and those are both contributions in and of itself and also they put your career back. I thought if I picked a guy whose career wasn't bigger than mine and who said he was committed to doing things in egalitarian way that I'd have an equal partner at home, but it just wasn't at all like that. Our careers have both grown to the point now where we can afford to outsource a lot, but when our kids were really small, there was a period where I was frequently working 50 hours a week at a stressful job to get back on the career track I wanted to be on, and I was doing almost all of the child care and most of the home stuff, and it would have been at least somewhat better if we'd been in a place financially where my husband could have offered to get a lot more help around the house. (It would have been better if he'd been an equal partner at home, but that was so far from reality.) I sometimes wondered what exactly I was getting from this arrangement.

If I were single again, I don't think I'd care about the salary piece if it were a FWB thing. Money isn't part of attraction to me. But if I were going to live with someone and get married again, I wouldn't want to be supporting him with money that I'd want to be going to my kids.

Yep, this is what happens when you believe love is everything!

That's not it at all. He claimed to hold a particular set of values, and we shared an idea of what we wanted our lives to look like, he just didn't follow through after kids. Which I think is fairly common, and had I known that I might have prioritized something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cared when I was dating in my twenties.
Now, in my 40’s, I’m widowed and kids are nearly grown. I don’t care at all now. I just want to meet someone who doesn’t expect too much from me, is good in bed, and knows how to fix stuff.

If you have any sort of assetts you should care, people prey on widows all the time.

Just because someone doesn’t make a lot of money doesn’t mean they want to steal other peoples.

This is true, but pp is vulnerable to those that would be interested in that. She can't afford to live in bubblegum and unicorn land.

You make me sound like a tottering old lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met my husband when I was 24. Neither of us earned much, but I earned more than he did. It really didn't matter to me. It's not like we had a lot of expenses. He was cute and smart and nice and had a great family, and I was confident that I was going to go and have a career, at least.

In retrospect, I do think there's something to be said for the idea that if you have children together, you're going to be doing the pregnancy/labor part and also most likely being the primary parent and managing things at home, and those are both contributions in and of itself and also they put your career back. I thought if I picked a guy whose career wasn't bigger than mine and who said he was committed to doing things in egalitarian way that I'd have an equal partner at home, but it just wasn't at all like that. Our careers have both grown to the point now where we can afford to outsource a lot, but when our kids were really small, there was a period where I was frequently working 50 hours a week at a stressful job to get back on the career track I wanted to be on, and I was doing almost all of the child care and most of the home stuff, and it would have been at least somewhat better if we'd been in a place financially where my husband could have offered to get a lot more help around the house. (It would have been better if he'd been an equal partner at home, but that was so far from reality.) I sometimes wondered what exactly I was getting from this arrangement.

If I were single again, I don't think I'd care about the salary piece if it were a FWB thing. Money isn't part of attraction to me. But if I were going to live with someone and get married again, I wouldn't want to be supporting him with money that I'd want to be going to my kids.

Yep, this is what happens when you believe love is everything!

That's not it at all. He claimed to hold a particular set of values, and we shared an idea of what we wanted our lives to look like, he just didn't follow through after kids. Which I think is fairly common, and had I known that I might have prioritized something else.

Fairly common? It is the standard approach for men. They put in the effort until you sunk cost is high enough that you cannot leave easily, and then show their true colors.

I had the sweetest boyfriend / husband prior to kids, now he does the barely minimal in $ and chores, he will soften the relationship by being engaged for 3 days when I get mad but swiftly return to his old self.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had an education requirement. It translated into high salary.

I can think of dozens of situations in which that is not the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The top earning 10% to 20% of men would rather marry the pretty, happy-go-lucky, kind-hearted waitress with the two-year community college degree who takes good care of the home and is willing to raise their children herself instead of sending them to factory daycare, but thanks for playing. A well-off guy doesn't care about your money and sees your 70-hour a week career as a red flag to having a long-lasting, fulfilling relationship. He wants, and can get, better than that. Continue on with your delusions, ladies. You're making me laugh. You guys are hilarious!!

Great. Go for it. Find that beautiful, intelligent, hard working waitress who is willing to let you look down on her and treat her like a second-class citizen. As we all know, anyone who goes to community college must have no dreams or aspirations of their own, and will wake up every day feeling lucky to spend her life catering to your needs.

What an arrogant POS like the other dcum poster dogging on 60k earners as loser level income earners. WTF is wrong with you people? You're all toxic. I went to comm college and transferred to a 4 yr then got a scholarship to a law school in the area. There are many ways to become rich in this area other than going to an IVY. The quickest is being born ambitious or rich but all of you are like blood sucking ticks who have to dog on people and think you are better but really you're just hateful because you hate your own life!

I think she was being sarcastic.

Let's be real, making 60 out of school is rich. Making 60k as a professor /research staff /scientist is respectable. Making 60k at a dead end desk job at 42 is all great if this person already has family. But making 60k at that desk job as 42 yr old on the dating market? that would be a tough situation. And being honest about it doesn't make us toxic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an education requirement. It translated into high salary.

I can think of dozens of situations in which that is not the case.

PP just said it worked that way not that it always works that way

[Anonymous]

Let's be real, making 60 out of school is rich. Making 60k as a professor /research staff /scientist is respectable. Making 60k at a dead end desk job at 42 is all great if this person already has family. But making 60k at that desk job as 42 yr old on the dating market? that would be a tough situation. And being honest about it doesn't make us toxic.

You care more about the guy’s money than his character, so yeah, toxic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Let's be real, making 60 out of school is rich. Making 60k as a professor /research staff /scientist is respectable. Making 60k at a dead end desk job at 42 is all great if this person already has family. But making 60k at that desk job as 42 yr old on the dating market? that would be a tough situation. And being honest about it doesn't make us toxic.

You care more about the guy’s money than his character, so yeah, toxic.

NP. That’s not how I interpreted the PP. Character is important, as is the financial contribution a man makes to the household/partnership. Not because you’re relying on his money, but because you want someone who can afford your lifestyle. Making 60k at a dead-end desk job at 42 in this area (where salaries are generally high) also is more likely than not to correlate with lack of ambition or education, which are character traits that many people value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Let's be real, making 60 out of school is rich. Making 60k as a professor /research staff /scientist is respectable. Making 60k at a dead end desk job at 42 is all great if this person already has family. But making 60k at that desk job as 42 yr old on the dating market? that would be a tough situation. And being honest about it doesn't make us toxic.

You care more about the guy’s money than his character, so yeah, toxic.

I don't care about the guy. I am old and don't have the hormone to go after the opposite sex.

I am speaking of the likelihood of pairing off with someone high caliber from a statistical point of view. This applies for both men and women. Men care more about the hip to waist ratio more than the women's character too