When you host a group of teens on vacation:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you willing to pay bail when they all end up drunk on some beach or similar? If the answer is no, then don't take them.
What about ER bills for pumping up alcohol?
The ambulance that picked them up drunk/high from some location?

WTF not all kids engage in this type of activity, especially on vacations. My teen drinks, but understands how to do it responsibly. We spend a lot of time in Europe so he doesn’t view alcohol the same way a lot of the other kids in his school do.

Ha, ha, ha. You have a sense of humor, right?
My teen drinks responsibly!

He does, sorry your’s doesn’t. He doesn’t go partys that are going to be drinking fest. If we offer him wine with dinner and he plans on going out afterward he declines. He has a pretty successful business and isn’t going to risk losing that by not being able to drive.

It would be nice if you were honest and could remember this post some 4 months or some months in the future when you realize you were totally wrong and sanctimonious. If your kid goes to parties, they are all a drinking fest and he is also drinking and not responsibly.
You just prefer to put your head in the sand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you willing to pay bail when they all end up drunk on some beach or similar? If the answer is no, then don't take them.
What about ER bills for pumping up alcohol?
The ambulance that picked them up drunk/high from some location?

WTF not all kids engage in this type of activity, especially on vacations. My teen drinks, but understands how to do it responsibly. We spend a lot of time in Europe so he doesn’t view alcohol the same way a lot of the other kids in his school do.

Ha, ha, ha. You have a sense of humor, right?
My teen drinks responsibly!

He does, sorry your’s doesn’t. He doesn’t go partys that are going to be drinking fest. If we offer him wine with dinner and he plans on going out afterward he declines. He has a pretty successful business and isn’t going to risk losing that by not being able to drive.

It would be nice if you were honest and could remember this post some 4 months or some months in the future when you realize you were totally wrong and sanctimonious. If your kid goes to parties, they are all a drinking fest and he is also drinking and not responsibly.
You just prefer to put your head in the sand.

I think I know my kid. Not all parties are drink fests. When he gets home I would be able to tell if he was drinking. He frequently comes home early. He gets up at 4:30 or 5am on Saturdays and Sundays for work and meetings.

[Anonymous]

We have taken our kids' friends on vacation and always pay for housing, meals, activities. Would be willing to pay for airfare, too, but the parents have always insisted on doing that, and offered to cover other expenses as well. Airfare seems easy to separate out, as someone upthread noted, and I've accepted those offers. But otherwise I expect to cover costs. It's an experience we want to share...and it's more fun for everyone when our kids have same-age companions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are we really arguing about the principle that this OP abound ask the parents first?

Maybe I would say no. But there would be hell to pay caused by this OP. Hopefully her perspective has broadened just a little bit

This is op again. You need help, lady.

I dont even know most of teen 15s friends parents. They are perfectly capable of speaking to their own parents for permission and to relay details.

Now that I think of it, younger dc 11 has had a friend ask him directly if he could go along on a trip and I had to say no. That parent and I do know each other well but I wasn't upset that she didn't ask me first. Dc was disappointed, and he has very rigid personality caused by a developmental disorder which makes disappointment very difficult for him. But he dealt with it .

This is part of growing up. I feel very sorry for your sheltered children. Missing out on the highs and lows, the temptation and seeing better off than and worse off than. Having to hear "no."

"There would be hell to pay "
Bit dramatic there.

Any decent parent would want to know, meet or talk to another parent prior to a vacation. Bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Vacations are for family. We only get so many with our kids (not counting if they travel with us as adults.) My kids can vacation with their friends when they are adults.

This whole discussion struck me as really weird too, until I realized it was the norm among the kids I met at college. Most of them weren’t on scholarships. I was. Maybe that’s the difference — you and I were raised legitimately middle class, and this is an UMC / upper class thing. Maybe?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Yes, you do it so your kids can have someone to socialize with. Your plan with extra kids seems silly. That makes no sense. So, if you don't do it for your kids then you are doing it to show off and reduce other kids who you think cannot do what you do.

Wouldn’t your kids have YOU to socialize with? I’m genuinely intrigued by this practice as it wasn’t my experience of traveling when I was a kid or teen, I went on vacation with my family and we hung out with each other.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, as a moody teen who always felt misunderstood, I’d definitely have loved to hang out with a friend instead, but the vacations were still fun and ended up being great bonding experiences, both with my parents and my siblings. And yielded some amazing stories that we still tell twenty years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yes, you do it so your kids can have someone to socialize with. Your plan with extra kids seems silly. That makes no sense. So, if you don't do it for your kids then you are doing it to show off and reduce other kids who you think cannot do what you do.

Wouldn’t your kids have YOU to socialize with? I’m genuinely intrigued by this practice as it wasn’t my experience of traveling when I was a kid or teen, I went on vacation with my family and we hung out with each other.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, as a moody teen who always felt misunderstood, I’d definitely have loved to hang out with a friend instead, but the vacations were still fun and ended up being great bonding experiences, both with my parents and my siblings. And yielded some amazing stories that we still tell twenty years later.

You can do both, bond with family while having a friend there. It is especially nice to have a friend of an only child come. As parents of an only it is also nice to have a friend come.

[Anonymous]

Yes it would be nice but some families don't feel the way you do. If you receive a no from a family you need to accept. Explanation is not required.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yes, you do it so your kids can have someone to socialize with. Your plan with extra kids seems silly. That makes no sense. So, if you don't do it for your kids then you are doing it to show off and reduce other kids who you think cannot do what you do.

Wouldn’t your kids have YOU to socialize with? I’m genuinely intrigued by this practice as it wasn’t my experience of traveling when I was a kid or teen, I went on vacation with my family and we hung out with each other.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, as a moody teen who always felt misunderstood, I’d definitely have loved to hang out with a friend instead, but the vacations were still fun and ended up being great bonding experiences, both with my parents and my siblings. And yielded some amazing stories that we still tell twenty years later.

You can do both, bond with family while having a friend there. It is especially nice to have a friend of an only child come. As parents of an only it is also nice to have a friend come.

NP and some of my fondest memories are going on vacation with my friend (the youngest of 3 sisters) and only one parent could make it or when my friend would go on vacation with us (and I have close aged sibling). These were weekend type of trips not more than 2-3 days. But then growing up my vacations were short trips unless we were visiting family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have taken our kids' friends on vacation and always pay for housing, meals, activities. Would be willing to pay for airfare, too, but the parents have always insisted on doing that, and offered to cover other expenses as well. Airfare seems easy to separate out, as someone upthread noted, and I've accepted those offers. But otherwise I expect to cover costs. It's an experience we want to share...and it's more fun for everyone when our kids have same-age companions.

This is same for us.

I have twin girls. They get along and we have awesome family vacations.

But one of my DDs is an extrovert and would occasionally invite a friend, just makes her happy to share experiences - not because she needs to be entertained, shesh. Just like any other activity, can be more fun with friends. If you think it's anything else, you're over thinking it.

[Anonymous]

My 7th grade son and his best friend have been joining each other on family vacations since they were in 1st. He goes with her family and she comes with us during the Summer. We pay for lodging, food and activities, but she has to bring her own money for souvenirs which her parents provide. Our son does the same when he goes with her family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grade son and his best friend have been joining each other on family vacations since they were in 1st. He goes with her family and she comes with us during the Summer. We pay for lodging, food and activities, but she has to bring her own money for souvenirs which her parents provide. Our son does the same when he goes with her family.

He goes with her family during Spring Break.

[Anonymous]

DD has brought friends on vacation with her, We pay for travel, lodging, activities and food, but friends have to pay for souvenirs.

[Anonymous]

why would anyone host a "group" of teens on vacation?
that sounds like hell.
At most, I will allow my teen to bring 1 friend on vacation, and only as a special privilege
and I wouldn't expect reciprocity