When you host a group of teens on vacation:
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Anonymous
I’m the poster to pats for everything it airfare and souvenirs (but do buy souvenirs if the kids all want to match). This 100% is not to entertain my kids. I can do that and they can do that themselves. It’s a massive responsibility, extremely expensive and can be stressful at times. We end up needing two cars because of the extra kids. Getting to the airport means taking two Ubers each trip. Swimming in an ocean means two adults are watching 4-5 kids all the time - even teens. You have one sick or one injured and one parent has to devote all energy on that one kid. Do you seriously think we do this because we want our kids to have a playmate or company? We could just plan a trip with another family if that’s all we wanted - no stress, no expense, etc. Someone posted above asking what we’ve spent. The last time we went, we flew from VA to CA. I am guessing we spent thousands of extra dollars, excluding the need to rent a second car - which we wouldn’t have needed to do if we didn’t have the extra kids) and excluding housing. We paid for all admission tickets (including to amusement parks), food, entertainment, etc. It’s offensive to think people take other kids on vacation to get a break from their kids. |
Anonymous
Then stop doing it. Nobody is twisting your arm (except maybe your kid). My kids have gone on vacation with friends a couple of times. It's fine, but honestly my kids could take it or leave it. I feel no obligation to reciprocate, especially since we go on very few vacations and I have no desire to take on another kid. Plus, my kids have never asked! Just like they never really asked for playdates when they were little. |
Anonymous
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Op here. Thanks for the responses.
This is not to entertain my own dc. That sounds like such a jaded outlook on life. Friendships are important, especially to a teenager. All teens can self entertain with their phones and video game consoles. . |
Anonymous
No, I’m not going to stop because some people elect to think we do it to get a break from our kids or to get a reciprocal invite. Neither is true. |
Anonymous
+100 I think any arrangement works as long as you’re clear up front. I used to take friends on vacation a lot in high school (I’m the youngest - siblings were out of the house by then) and my parents basically paid for my friends stuff when they would pay for my stuff (so, lodging, meals, group activities like mini golf or the movies when we all went together) but not the kind of stuff I’d pay for on my own (souvenirs, clothes, or other shopping, activities and meals/snacks when my friend and I went off on our own) and that worked out fine. I used to go skiing with a friend’s family sometimes, and they paid for lodging and transportation, but my parents paid for my lift tickets, equipment rentals, and meals (we’d split the check even at sit down restaurants). So it was a much more expensive trip for me. Both worked out great - no problems or issues, just make sure you’re upfront about what you’re covering/not covering when you issue in the invite. |
Anonymous
| Vacations are for family. We only get so many with our kids (not counting if they travel with us as adults.) My kids can vacation with their friends when they are adults. |
Anonymous
This. |
Anonymous
We took one of DS’e friends to Universal/Orlando with us Oct’19. It was probably about 2500-3k extra. The delta was airfare, dining, park tickets/fast passes, souvenirs, activities. DS already had hotel room with two queen beds. |
Anonymous
Same here, and of course I would pay the airfare! |
Anonymous
We don't expect a similar invite, but if PPs kids are always taking and never giving, friends will move on. Friendships are two-way street, some effort is expected. |
Anonymous
Yes, you do it so your kids can have someone to socialize with. Your plan with extra kids seems silly. That makes no sense. So, if you don't do it for your kids then you are doing it to show off and reduce other kids who you think cannot do what you do. |
Anonymous
Not everyone wants extra kids on vacation. They aren't just taking and never giving. They aren't asking you to take their kids and you are doing it for your needs. Mine couldn't care less either if they went and would think its a bit weird. We'd say no because we know people like you expect something in return and we don't vacation a lot (which you probably don't take into consideration) and while we do have kids at our house constantly pre-covid, we do it for the kids who have crappy uninvolved parents as we don't want ours at unsupervised homes. |
Anonymous
We consider vacations family time. We actually spend time with our tween and teens so we don't need about child there. Yes, it is to entertain your kids as you don't want them on the phones/video games. |
Anonymous
Eh, this is similar to when we occasionally travel with another family. It add another layer of interaction and enjoyment. We also enjoy traveling alone with our kids. We “actually” spend time with our kids, also, and likewise don’t NEED another child there. But it can be fun and a rare treat. It’s like you’re saying anyone who allows a sleepover must not like spending time with their kids. |
Anonymous
Op again. I know you're trying to frame this in a way that makes you feel good about yourself by putting others down but you are wrong. Our family has always traveled both as a nuclear unit and with extended friends and families. I find it odd that you wouldn't want to share one of life's joys with others. I guess it's not that odd, since you posted here not to address the question, but to be anti social. |