Men who leave their wife for younger women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend is 53 and I'm 47. We recently broke up and he is starting to date a 23 year old who is apparently in college. I think it's disgusting and predatory but he says "age is nothing but a number." Is that true?

I mean, he's not cheating on anyone, right? Both are consenting adults... totally different situation.

+1

She has daddy issues, and he is okay with that, so something is wrong with him, anyhow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend is 53 and I'm 47. We recently broke up and he is starting to date a 23 year old who is apparently in college. I think it's disgusting and predatory but he says "age is nothing but a number." Is that true?

If age were only a number we'd see more men in their 50s dating women in their 70s. That's to say, of course it's not just a number.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another thread where everyone spews vitriol at the OW while the cheating husband escapes unscathed. How original.

I mean, they're both scummy. But it's much easier to be angry at a stranger than it is at your long-term spouse, no? Human nature.

(Disclaimer: I'm not an AP or a scorned wife, have not been divorced, and do not come from a divorced home).

True. But it still reflects poorly on ex-wife if you can’t move on and come on anonymous boards and call strangers a ho and whore for ??? Unhinged

Why? When you date married people or cheat you put yourself into that category. And deserve the terms for that behavior. Not that pp, but you're wrong in attacking the person appropriately labeling one of the cheaters.

+100

The wife wasn't a cheater. Nothing reflects poorly on her. She wasn't out lying and screwing behind her spouse's back. She can hate whomever she chooses. And, as another pointed out, so much of the time the OW/OM was married too. So they are screwing up two sets of kids, two families with their nastiness.

OW doesn’t know you and doesn’t care about your happiness. Why would she? She didn’t make any promises to you, spend half a life with you, make children with you. Your anger is misdirected. Be mad at your husband. If not this other woman, it would have been a different. He would have found someone. Maybe she is married to someone too, maybe not, doesn’t make in a different in the outcome the affair has on your marriage. The vitriol toward the ow is misdirected.
- Im not anyone’s “other woman” and never have been

She sure knew a helluva lot about me because she spent the time her husband was at work trolling my social media, googling me. She also was looking up my friends/our friends and even my exercise/personal trainer. Some sick beatches.

This. They aren't innocent. They know what they are doing and are actively looking to harm another woman. If not, why are they spending so much time so concerned about the wife? Jealous and angry of the wife. Bless their little tramp hearts.

Doesn’t matter. They/she weren’t married to you. Your husband cheated on you. With her, with someone else, with the babysitter. The “who” doesn’t make a difference. He is the problem. It doesn’t make them (ow) innocent, but they weren’t the real problem in your marriage. That only haas to do with your spouse and you

Keep telling yourself that. Maybe it will make you feel better, but it will never make you a better person, because you are just as guilty as he is.

If they do it with you, they will do it to you.

Look, I’m not guilty of anything. Just trying to help the angry bitter women here. It gets them no where being scorned and anger at the ow. Be mad at husband, get a good lawyer, get what’s owed to you and move on. You are better off without a man that doesn’t want to be with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another thread where everyone spews vitriol at the OW while the cheating husband escapes unscathed. How original.

I mean, they're both scummy. But it's much easier to be angry at a stranger than it is at your long-term spouse, no? Human nature.

(Disclaimer: I'm not an AP or a scorned wife, have not been divorced, and do not come from a divorced home).

True. But it still reflects poorly on ex-wife if you can’t move on and come on anonymous boards and call strangers a ho and whore for ??? Unhinged

I don't believe in slut-shaming in general and would never use those words towards anyone (I'm not the PP who used them, obvi). But to me the long-lasting anger towards the OW seems understandable.

Not me. OW didn't choose to marry you. She never deceived you. You have no idea how much time and effort your husband put into reeling her in. And yet, so many of you scorned old wives are willing and able to forgive your scummy DH and vilify the OW. You don't even know the full picture!

Anyone that interjects themselves in a marriage is 50% responsible for it's demise. My DH would never be forgiven, but that OW has automatically invited me into her life as well. Those consequences she won't like. I don't understand women that forgive their DH, or maybe they pretend to for the kids. Hard to say.

A majority of the time they are married themselves. POS. Pathetic. The whole lot of them.

I sincerely doubt that, it's just your dim-witted imagination. Please, cite your source.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another thread where everyone spews vitriol at the OW while the cheating husband escapes unscathed. How original.

I mean, they're both scummy. But it's much easier to be angry at a stranger than it is at your long-term spouse, no? Human nature.

(Disclaimer: I'm not an AP or a scorned wife, have not been divorced, and do not come from a divorced home).

True. But it still reflects poorly on ex-wife if you can’t move on and come on anonymous boards and call strangers a ho and whore for ??? Unhinged

Why? When you date married people or cheat you put yourself into that category. And deserve the terms for that behavior. Not that pp, but you're wrong in attacking the person appropriately labeling one of the cheaters.

+100

The wife wasn't a cheater. Nothing reflects poorly on her. She wasn't out lying and screwing behind her spouse's back. She can hate whomever she chooses. And, as another pointed out, so much of the time the OW/OM was married too. So they are screwing up two sets of kids, two families with their nastiness.

OW doesn’t know you and doesn’t care about your happiness. Why would she? She didn’t make any promises to you, spend half a life with you, make children with you. Your anger is misdirected. Be mad at your husband. If not this other woman, it would have been a different. He would have found someone. Maybe she is married to someone too, maybe not, doesn’t make in a different in the outcome the affair has on your marriage. The vitriol toward the ow is misdirected.
- Im not anyone’s “other woman” and never have been

She sure knew a helluva lot about me because she spent the time her husband was at work trolling my social media, googling me. She also was looking up my friends/our friends and even my exercise/personal trainer. Some sick beatches.

This. They aren't innocent. They know what they are doing and are actively looking to harm another woman. If not, why are they spending so much time so concerned about the wife? Jealous and angry of the wife. Bless their little tramp hearts.

Doesn’t matter. They/she weren’t married to you. Your husband cheated on you. With her, with someone else, with the babysitter. The “who” doesn’t make a difference. He is the problem. It doesn’t make them (ow) innocent, but they weren’t the real problem in your marriage. That only haas to do with your spouse and you

Keep telling yourself that. Maybe it will make you feel better, but it will never make you a better person, because you are just as guilty as he is.

If they do it with you, they will do it to you.

Look, I’m not guilty of anything. Just trying to help the angry bitter women here. It gets them no where being scorned and anger at the ow. Be mad at husband, get a good lawyer, get what’s owed to you and move on. You are better off without a man that doesn’t want to be with you.

You keep making that assumption - that we're a bunch of angry bitter women that this happened to. Pretty sure that's not the case (not in my case, anyway) and one can do all of the above - get that lawyer, get what's owed, be angry at the spouse, and also be angry at the OW for the immoral person that she is. Maybe even have a little fun and cause some chaos in their lives. Sure, probably best to rise above, and maybe that's not the case for others, but I'm a pretty vengeful person, and it would very likely make me feel infinitely better to cause some suffering on the other end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister married her law school professor - when they first met he was married with three kids. Ages of those kids - basically they were 5-10 yrs younger. She was early 30s he was early 50s. Ex wife was “crazy” - of course. Nobody really likes to talk about timeline when they started dating. I have no real relationship with either of them. Ironically they are big time Catholic and I found it hilarious when they couldn’t have a church wedding.

LOL my dad and his second wife regularly lie about how long they've been married because my 1/2 sibling was conceived before my dad and my mom divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend is 53 and I'm 47. We recently broke up and he is starting to date a 23 year old who is apparently in college. I think it's disgusting and predatory but he says "age is nothing but a number." Is that true?

It's a bit gross and age is just a number.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband left his old lady for me. She never gave him the shaft. He is the best thing in the world, 15 yrs my senior. Sexy man.

I hope she didn’t have a shaft.

She doesn’t sound very bright.

Betcha she can suck a golf ball though a garden hose, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another thread where everyone spews vitriol at the OW while the cheating husband escapes unscathed. How original.

I mean, they're both scummy. But it's much easier to be angry at a stranger than it is at your long-term spouse, no? Human nature.

(Disclaimer: I'm not an AP or a scorned wife, have not been divorced, and do not come from a divorced home).

True. But it still reflects poorly on ex-wife if you can’t move on and come on anonymous boards and call strangers a ho and whore for ??? Unhinged

Why? When you date married people or cheat you put yourself into that category. And deserve the terms for that behavior. Not that pp, but you're wrong in attacking the person appropriately labeling one of the cheaters.

+100

The wife wasn't a cheater. Nothing reflects poorly on her. She wasn't out lying and screwing behind her spouse's back. She can hate whomever she chooses. And, as another pointed out, so much of the time the OW/OM was married too. So they are screwing up two sets of kids, two families with their nastiness.

OW doesn’t know you and doesn’t care about your happiness. Why would she? She didn’t make any promises to you, spend half a life with you, make children with you. Your anger is misdirected. Be mad at your husband. If not this other woman, it would have been a different. He would have found someone. Maybe she is married to someone too, maybe not, doesn’t make in a different in the outcome the affair has on your marriage. The vitriol toward the ow is misdirected.
- Im not anyone’s “other woman” and never have been

She sure knew a helluva lot about me because she spent the time her husband was at work trolling my social media, googling me. She also was looking up my friends/our friends and even my exercise/personal trainer. Some sick beatches.

This. They aren't innocent. They know what they are doing and are actively looking to harm another woman. If not, why are they spending so much time so concerned about the wife? Jealous and angry of the wife. Bless their little tramp hearts.

Doesn’t matter. They/she weren’t married to you. Your husband cheated on you. With her, with someone else, with the babysitter. The “who” doesn’t make a difference. He is the problem. It doesn’t make them (ow) innocent, but they weren’t the real problem in your marriage. That only haas to do with your spouse and you

Keep telling yourself that. Maybe it will make you feel better, but it will never make you a better person, because you are just as guilty as he is.

If they do it with you, they will do it to you.

Look, I’m not guilty of anything. Just trying to help the angry bitter women here. It gets them no where being scorned and anger at the ow. Be mad at husband, get a good lawyer, get what’s owed to you and move on. You are better off without a man that doesn’t want to be with you.

You keep making that assumption - that we're a bunch of angry bitter women that this happened to. Pretty sure that's not the case (not in my case, anyway) and one can do all of the above - get that lawyer, get what's owed, be angry at the spouse, and also be angry at the OW for the immoral person that she is. Maybe even have a little fun and cause some chaos in their lives. Sure, probably best to rise above, and maybe that's not the case for others, but I'm a pretty vengeful person, and it would very likely make me feel infinitely better to cause some suffering on the other end.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ron Perlman left his wife his wife of 38 years for a woman near his children's age. I'm wondering how common this is (probably not this large an age gap)? In examples, what was the aftermath like for the man, woman, and children?

I think this is fairly common these days. Marriage is difficult over the long haul. Some say a marriage license is like a drivers license and should be renewed every 10 years. People fall out of love and would be happier with someone else. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal, and staying married to someone you don’t love seems stupid to me.

The new woman is the force to end a marriage that is already dying. For men in bad marriages, the new younger woman is the motivation to finally end a relationship they don’t really want to be in anymore.

I am the younger OW. My DH left his exW for me. As he explained it to me when we met, their marriage was terrible, had been bad for years, and he couldn’t ignore that anymore after developing feelings for me. DH didn’t have kids, so the divorce was fairly easy. It was emotionally difficult for his exW. She went to therapy and he was very fair and generous in their divorce. DH felt guilty for hurting her and would likely still help her out as a friend today. He didn’t love her and hadn’t loved her for many years. DH knew he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with her.

We don’t care if people know how we met. DH tells people openly. I know a little about his exW, but haven’t stalked her. I don’t know her, and the only feelings I have toward her are some guilt for my part in her pain. ExW couldn’t really do anything to mess up our lives, as we have nothing to hide. I believe she’s moved on with her life and doesn’t care about how we are living.

[Anonymous]

^another +1

She called my bluff after all. My ex without blinking told her if I ever found out I would kill her. Literally. She was very scared of me. So- she should consider herself lucky. I only told her husband instead of committing homicide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ron Perlman left his wife his wife of 38 years for a woman near his children's age. I'm wondering how common this is (probably not this large an age gap)? In examples, what was the aftermath like for the man, woman, and children?

I think this is fairly common these days. Marriage is difficult over the long haul. Some say a marriage license is like a drivers license and should be renewed every 10 years. People fall out of love and would be happier with someone else. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal, and staying married to someone you don’t love seems stupid to me.

The new woman is the force to end a marriage that is already dying. For men in bad marriages, the new younger woman is the motivation to finally end a relationship they don’t really want to be in anymore.

I am the younger OW. My DH left his exW for me. As he explained it to me when we met, their marriage was terrible, had been bad for years, and he couldn’t ignore that anymore after developing feelings for me. DH didn’t have kids, so the divorce was fairly easy. It was emotionally difficult for his exW. She went to therapy and he was very fair and generous in their divorce. DH felt guilty for hurting her and would likely still help her out as a friend today. He didn’t love her and hadn’t loved her for many years. DH knew he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with her.

We don’t care if people know how we met. DH tells people openly. I know a little about his exW, but haven’t stalked her. I don’t know her, and the only feelings I have toward her are some guilt for my part in her pain. ExW couldn’t really do anything to mess up our lives, as we have nothing to hide. I believe she’s moved on with her life and doesn’t care about how we are living.

What they do with you, they will eventually do to you. I can guarantee you got the edited version of real events. GL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ron Perlman left his wife his wife of 38 years for a woman near his children's age. I'm wondering how common this is (probably not this large an age gap)? In examples, what was the aftermath like for the man, woman, and children?

I think this is fairly common these days. Marriage is difficult over the long haul. Some say a marriage license is like a drivers license and should be renewed every 10 years. People fall out of love and would be happier with someone else. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal, and staying married to someone you don’t love seems stupid to me.

The new woman is the force to end a marriage that is already dying. For men in bad marriages, the new younger woman is the motivation to finally end a relationship they don’t really want to be in anymore.

I am the younger OW. My DH left his exW for me. As he explained it to me when we met, their marriage was terrible, had been bad for years, and he couldn’t ignore that anymore after developing feelings for me. DH didn’t have kids, so the divorce was fairly easy. It was emotionally difficult for his exW. She went to therapy and he was very fair and generous in their divorce. DH felt guilty for hurting her and would likely still help her out as a friend today. He didn’t love her and hadn’t loved her for many years. DH knew he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with her.

We don’t care if people know how we met. DH tells people openly. I know a little about his exW, but haven’t stalked her. I don’t know her, and the only feelings I have toward her are some guilt for my part in her pain. ExW couldn’t really do anything to mess up our lives, as we have nothing to hide. I believe she’s moved on with her life and doesn’t care about how we are living.

'My marriage has basically been over for years' is what men tell their APs. It's the classic line. That doesn't mean it's never true, but the fact that he says it doesn't mean anything. Cheaters rewrite the history of their marriages in order to justify the affair. You can't know whether anything he said about that was true, and it's very naive to think otherwise.

As for the idea that you shouldn't stay married if you're unhappy - look, if that's your deal that's your deal, but I doubt that what he told his wife when they got married. If marriages had to be renewed every ten years, I wouldn't have risked my body and my career having kids on someone my age whose romantic prospects were going to grow as mine were going to shrink, as is the case with men and women, I would have picked some old rich dude. Which I understand is what you did, so I guess kudos on that for implicitly understanding the game theory here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend is 53 and I'm 47. We recently broke up and he is starting to date a 23 year old who is apparently in college. I think it's disgusting and predatory but he says "age is nothing but a number." Is that true?

I mean, he's not cheating on anyone, right? Both are consenting adults... totally different situation.

Nah! It’s creepy ... a 19 yo can consent with a 90 year old.... both adults.

If he had a child at 30 they would be her age ... gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ron Perlman left his wife his wife of 38 years for a woman near his children's age. I'm wondering how common this is (probably not this large an age gap)? In examples, what was the aftermath like for the man, woman, and children?

I think this is fairly common these days. Marriage is difficult over the long haul. Some say a marriage license is like a drivers license and should be renewed every 10 years. People fall out of love and would be happier with someone else. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal, and staying married to someone you don’t love seems stupid to me.

The new woman is the force to end a marriage that is already dying. For men in bad marriages, the new younger woman is the motivation to finally end a relationship they don’t really want to be in anymore.

I am the younger OW. My DH left his exW for me. As he explained it to me when we met, their marriage was terrible, had been bad for years, and he couldn’t ignore that anymore after developing feelings for me. DH didn’t have kids, so the divorce was fairly easy. It was emotionally difficult for his exW. She went to therapy and he was very fair and generous in their divorce. DH felt guilty for hurting her and would likely still help her out as a friend today. He didn’t love her and hadn’t loved her for many years. DH knew he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with her.

We don’t care if people know how we met. DH tells people openly. I know a little about his exW, but haven’t stalked her. I don’t know her, and the only feelings I have toward her are some guilt for my part in her pain. ExW couldn’t really do anything to mess up our lives, as we have nothing to hide. I believe she’s moved on with her life and doesn’t care about how we are living.

What they do with you, they will eventually do to you. I can guarantee you got the edited version of real events. GL

DP, people love to say this but it doesn't really jive with what I've seen in real life. Cheaters that habitually cheat on their partners will definitely continue to cheat. But people who are happily monogamous for many years or even decades who go on to have exit affairs? Not so much. Of course it's possible, but they have LONG track records of being monogamous, they're more likely to be looking for a different version of their previous relationship. Goes for men and women.