Men who leave their wife for younger women

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Another thread where everyone spews vitriol at the OW while the cheating husband escapes unscathed. How original.

I mean, they're both scummy. But it's much easier to be angry at a stranger than it is at your long-term spouse, no? Human nature.

(Disclaimer: I'm not an AP or a scorned wife, have not been divorced, and do not come from a divorced home).

True. But it still reflects poorly on ex-wife if you can’t move on and come on anonymous boards and call strangers a ho and whore for ??? Unhinged

Why? When you date married people or cheat you put yourself into that category. And deserve the terms for that behavior. Not that pp, but you're wrong in attacking the person appropriately labeling one of the cheaters.

+100

The wife wasn't a cheater. Nothing reflects poorly on her. She wasn't out lying and screwing behind her spouse's back. She can hate whomever she chooses. And, as another pointed out, so much of the time the OW/OM was married too. So they are screwing up two sets of kids, two families with their nastiness.

OW doesn’t know you and doesn’t care about your happiness. Why would she? She didn’t make any promises to you, spend half a life with you, make children with you. Your anger is misdirected. Be mad at your husband. If not this other woman, it would have been a different. He would have found someone. Maybe she is married to someone too, maybe not, doesn’t make in a different in the outcome the affair has on your marriage. The vitriol toward the ow is misdirected.
- Im not anyone’s “other woman” and never have been

She sure knew a helluva lot about me because she spent the time her husband was at work trolling my social media, googling me. She also was looking up my friends/our friends and even my exercise/personal trainer. Some sick beatches.

This. They aren't innocent. They know what they are doing and are actively looking to harm another woman. If not, why are they spending so much time so concerned about the wife? Jealous and angry of the wife. Bless their little tramp hearts.

Doesn’t matter. They/she weren’t married to you. Your husband cheated on you. With her, with someone else, with the babysitter. The “who” doesn’t make a difference. He is the problem. It doesn’t make them (ow) innocent, but they weren’t the real problem in your marriage. That only haas to do with your spouse and you

Keep telling yourself that. Maybe it will make you feel better, but it will never make you a better person, because you are just as guilty as he is.

If they do it with you, they will do it to you.

Look, I’m not guilty of anything. Just trying to help the angry bitter women here. It gets them no where being scorned and anger at the ow. Be mad at husband, get a good lawyer, get what’s owed to you and move on. You are better off without a man that doesn’t want to be with you.

You keep making that assumption - that we're a bunch of angry bitter women that this happened to. Pretty sure that's not the case (not in my case, anyway) and one can do all of the above - get that lawyer, get what's owed, be angry at the spouse, and also be angry at the OW for the immoral person that she is. Maybe even have a little fun and cause some chaos in their lives. Sure, probably best to rise above, and maybe that's not the case for others, but I'm a pretty vengeful person, and it would very likely make me feel infinitely better to cause some suffering on the other end.

+1

Not assuming anything. There a lot of women here behaving bitterly. Whether they act that way out in the world, who know. But I hope not as nothing good comes from being bitter. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter about the OW. She isn’t responsible for your marriage ending. She is a symptom, not the cause. It didn’t last because one/both of you didn’t want to be committed. Blame her all you want. But people that love and are committed to their spouses don’t cheat. You didn’t have that in your spouse.

[Anonymous]

I think this is fairly common these days. Marriage is difficult over the long haul. Some say a marriage license is like a drivers license and should be renewed every 10 years. People fall out of love and would be happier with someone else. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal, and staying married to someone you don’t love seems stupid to me.

The new woman is the force to end a marriage that is already dying. For men in bad marriages, the new younger woman is the motivation to finally end a relationship they don’t really want to be in anymore.

I am the younger OW. My DH left his exW for me. As he explained it to me when we met, their marriage was terrible, had been bad for years, and he couldn’t ignore that anymore after developing feelings for me. DH didn’t have kids, so the divorce was fairly easy. It was emotionally difficult for his exW. She went to therapy and he was very fair and generous in their divorce. DH felt guilty for hurting her and would likely still help her out as a friend today. He didn’t love her and hadn’t loved her for many years. DH knew he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with her.

We don’t care if people know how we met. DH tells people openly. I know a little about his exW, but haven’t stalked her. I don’t know her, and the only feelings I have toward her are some guilt for my part in her pain. ExW couldn’t really do anything to mess up our lives, as we have nothing to hide. I believe she’s moved on with her life and doesn’t care about how we are living.

Even before you admitted you were the OW it was clear from your first paragraph. This post is one long rationalization. Your DH rewrote history (he had been unhappy for years, he did not love her) to justify his affair with you and you bought it. If that was true, why didn’t he talk to his first wife about it or leave before beginning to date? I guarantee things in his first marriage did not play out as he described. You knowingly participated in blowing up someone else’s life and should feel terrible about it. The fact that you both brag about actually starting as an affair shows how morally bankrupt you are. And the prize yiu won is a cheating liar - not much to brag about there.

FYI - I’m married and have never had to deal with an OW, and come from an intact family. My disgust is because you and your cheating DH violated all standards of human decency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ron Perlman left his wife his wife of 38 years for a woman near his children's age. I'm wondering how common this is (probably not this large an age gap)? In examples, what was the aftermath like for the man, woman, and children?

I think this is fairly common these days. Marriage is difficult over the long haul. Some say a marriage license is like a drivers license and should be renewed every 10 years. People fall out of love and would be happier with someone else. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal, and staying married to someone you don’t love seems stupid to me.

The new woman is the force to end a marriage that is already dying. For men in bad marriages, the new younger woman is the motivation to finally end a relationship they don’t really want to be in anymore.

I am the younger OW. My DH left his exW for me. As he explained it to me when we met, their marriage was terrible, had been bad for years, and he couldn’t ignore that anymore after developing feelings for me. DH didn’t have kids, so the divorce was fairly easy. It was emotionally difficult for his exW. She went to therapy and he was very fair and generous in their divorce. DH felt guilty for hurting her and would likely still help her out as a friend today. He didn’t love her and hadn’t loved her for many years. DH knew he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with her.

We don’t care if people know how we met. DH tells people openly. I know a little about his exW, but haven’t stalked her. I don’t know her, and the only feelings I have toward her are some guilt for my part in her pain. ExW couldn’t really do anything to mess up our lives, as we have nothing to hide. I believe she’s moved on with her life and doesn’t care about how we are living.

'My marriage has basically been over for years' is what men tell their APs. It's the classic line. That doesn't mean it's never true, but the fact that he says it doesn't mean anything. Cheaters rewrite the history of their marriages in order to justify the affair. You can't know whether anything he said about that was true, and it's very naive to think otherwise.

As for the idea that you shouldn't stay married if you're unhappy - look, if that's your deal that's your deal, but I doubt that what he told his wife when they got married. If marriages had to be renewed every ten years, I wouldn't have risked my body and my career having kids on someone my age whose romantic prospects were going to grow as mine were going to shrink, as is the case with men and women, I would have picked some old rich dude. Which I understand is what you did, so I guess kudos on that for implicitly understanding the game theory here.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think this is fairly common these days. Marriage is difficult over the long haul. Some say a marriage license is like a drivers license and should be renewed every 10 years. People fall out of love and would be happier with someone else. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal, and staying married to someone you don’t love seems stupid to me.

The new woman is the force to end a marriage that is already dying. For men in bad marriages, the new younger woman is the motivation to finally end a relationship they don’t really want to be in anymore.

I am the younger OW. My DH left his exW for me. As he explained it to me when we met, their marriage was terrible, had been bad for years, and he couldn’t ignore that anymore after developing feelings for me. DH didn’t have kids, so the divorce was fairly easy. It was emotionally difficult for his exW. She went to therapy and he was very fair and generous in their divorce. DH felt guilty for hurting her and would likely still help her out as a friend today. He didn’t love her and hadn’t loved her for many years. DH knew he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with her.

We don’t care if people know how we met. DH tells people openly. I know a little about his exW, but haven’t stalked her. I don’t know her, and the only feelings I have toward her are some guilt for my part in her pain. ExW couldn’t really do anything to mess up our lives, as we have nothing to hide. I believe she’s moved on with her life and doesn’t care about how we are living.

Even before you admitted you were the OW it was clear from your first paragraph. This post is one long rationalization. Your DH rewrote history (he had been unhappy for years, he did not love her) to justify his affair with you and you bought it. If that was true, why didn’t he talk to his first wife about it or leave before beginning to date? I guarantee things in his first marriage did not play out as he described. You knowingly participated in blowing up someone else’s life and should feel terrible about it. The fact that you both brag about actually starting as an affair shows how morally bankrupt you are. And the prize yiu won is a cheating liar - not much to brag about there.

FYI - I’m married and have never had to deal with an OW, and come from an intact family. My disgust is because you and your cheating DH violated all standards of human decency.

She is very proud of herself but that always stems from deep insecurity. Women that sleep with married have at least this in common, they are all incredibly lacking in self esteem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ron Perlman left his wife his wife of 38 years for a woman near his children's age. I'm wondering how common this is (probably not this large an age gap)? In examples, what was the aftermath like for the man, woman, and children?

I think this is fairly common these days. Marriage is difficult over the long haul. Some say a marriage license is like a drivers license and should be renewed every 10 years. People fall out of love and would be happier with someone else. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal, and staying married to someone you don’t love seems stupid to me.

The new woman is the force to end a marriage that is already dying. For men in bad marriages, the new younger woman is the motivation to finally end a relationship they don’t really want to be in anymore.

I am the younger OW. My DH left his exW for me. As he explained it to me when we met, their marriage was terrible, had been bad for years, and he couldn’t ignore that anymore after developing feelings for me. DH didn’t have kids, so the divorce was fairly easy. It was emotionally difficult for his exW. She went to therapy and he was very fair and generous in their divorce. DH felt guilty for hurting her and would likely still help her out as a friend today. He didn’t love her and hadn’t loved her for many years. DH knew he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with her.

We don’t care if people know how we met. DH tells people openly. I know a little about his exW, but haven’t stalked her. I don’t know her, and the only feelings I have toward her are some guilt for my part in her pain. ExW couldn’t really do anything to mess up our lives, as we have nothing to hide. I believe she’s moved on with her life and doesn’t care about how we are living.

You sound really naive. What your husband told you may be the truth but likely he’s just rewriting history to make himself not feel guilty. OK so you cheated but don’t think that what he told you is the truth. It sucks what happened to the Ex wife. Don’t forget that your husband could have first left his marriage if it was so awful and started the relationship on the right foot with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ron Perlman left his wife his wife of 38 years for a woman near his children's age. I'm wondering how common this is (probably not this large an age gap)? In examples, what was the aftermath like for the man, woman, and children?

I think this is fairly common these days. Marriage is difficult over the long haul. Some say a marriage license is like a drivers license and should be renewed every 10 years. People fall out of love and would be happier with someone else. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal, and staying married to someone you don’t love seems stupid to me.

The new woman is the force to end a marriage that is already dying. For men in bad marriages, the new younger woman is the motivation to finally end a relationship they don’t really want to be in anymore.

I am the younger OW. My DH left his exW for me. As he explained it to me when we met, their marriage was terrible, had been bad for years, and he couldn’t ignore that anymore after developing feelings for me. DH didn’t have kids, so the divorce was fairly easy. It was emotionally difficult for his exW. She went to therapy and he was very fair and generous in their divorce. DH felt guilty for hurting her and would likely still help her out as a friend today. He didn’t love her and hadn’t loved her for many years. DH knew he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with her.

We don’t care if people know how we met. DH tells people openly. I know a little about his exW, but haven’t stalked her. I don’t know her, and the only feelings I have toward her are some guilt for my part in her pain. ExW couldn’t really do anything to mess up our lives, as we have nothing to hide. I believe she’s moved on with her life and doesn’t care about how we are living.

You sound really naive. What your husband told you may be the truth but likely he’s just rewriting history to make himself not feel guilty. OK so you cheated but don’t think that what he told you is the truth. It sucks what happened to the Ex wife. Don’t forget that your husband could have first left his marriage if it was so awful and started the relationship on the right foot with you.

I pray that she gets a taste of her own medicine soon. She will then realize what pain and hurt someone has gone through when there is an OW in their life.

If you are a victim, have faith, hold on, and trust that little thing called Karma. Because you can be a b*tch too, but karma is a bigger b*tch than you will ever need to be.

At 50, I am really starting to see a lot of people that treated others like crap have karma catch up with them. In some pretty spectacular ways too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ron Perlman left his wife his wife of 38 years for a woman near his children's age. I'm wondering how common this is (probably not this large an age gap)? In examples, what was the aftermath like for the man, woman, and children?

I think this is fairly common these days. Marriage is difficult over the long haul. Some say a marriage license is like a drivers license and should be renewed every 10 years. People fall out of love and would be happier with someone else. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal, and staying married to someone you don’t love seems stupid to me.

The new woman is the force to end a marriage that is already dying. For men in bad marriages, the new younger woman is the motivation to finally end a relationship they don’t really want to be in anymore.

I am the younger OW. My DH left his exW for me. As he explained it to me when we met, their marriage was terrible, had been bad for years, and he couldn’t ignore that anymore after developing feelings for me. DH didn’t have kids, so the divorce was fairly easy. It was emotionally difficult for his exW. She went to therapy and he was very fair and generous in their divorce. DH felt guilty for hurting her and would likely still help her out as a friend today. He didn’t love her and hadn’t loved her for many years. DH knew he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with her.

We don’t care if people know how we met. DH tells people openly. I know a little about his exW, but haven’t stalked her. I don’t know her, and the only feelings I have toward her are some guilt for my part in her pain. ExW couldn’t really do anything to mess up our lives, as we have nothing to hide. I believe she’s moved on with her life and doesn’t care about how we are living.

You sound really naive. What your husband told you may be the truth but likely he’s just rewriting history to make himself not feel guilty. OK so you cheated but don’t think that what he told you is the truth. It sucks what happened to the Ex wife. Don’t forget that your husband could have first left his marriage if it was so awful and started the relationship on the right foot with you.

I pray that she gets a taste of her own medicine soon. She will then realize what pain and hurt someone has gone through when there is an OW in their life.

If you are a victim, have faith, hold on, and trust that little thing called Karma. Because you can be a b*tch too, but karma is a bigger b*tch than you will ever need to be.

At 50, I am really starting to see a lot of people that treated others like crap have karma catch up with them. In some pretty spectacular ways too.

Even if you don't believe in karma, you wouldn't want someone else doing something like this to you so don't do it to someone else. When your actions contribute to harm to others, the universe will take note.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister married her law school professor - when they first met he was married with three kids. Ages of those kids - basically they were 5-10 yrs younger. She was early 30s he was early 50s. Ex wife was “crazy” - of course. Nobody really likes to talk about timeline when they started dating. I have no real relationship with either of them. Ironically they are big time Catholic and I found it hilarious when they couldn’t have a church wedding.

LOL my dad and his second wife regularly lie about how long they've been married because my 1/2 sibling was conceived before my dad and my mom divorced.

President Biden was sleeping with Dr. Jill before she was divorced, so it must be okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad left my mom 3 years ago for a much younger woman after 35 years of marriage. I honestly felt that mom was better off without him. I don't think mom would have ever left. Mom was devastated but accepted the divorce when dad would not stop seeing his OW.

Mom wanted to keep everything civil and dad tried to take advantage of this by offering her a settlement that was a joke. Long story short my brother got mom a new lawyer and got mom a huge settlement and she is set for life.

We have never met the OW and she is banned from all family functions. That has caused huge problems in their relationship but that is not our problem.

Set for life off of someone else's labor. No wonder he divorced her.

Dad is that you?

Right? What an ass. After 35 yrs. of marriage, this woman has definitely earned that money (and likely more for putting up with shit for many years).

Yes, because men never have to put up with shit from their wives for 35 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister married her law school professor - when they first met he was married with three kids. Ages of those kids - basically they were 5-10 yrs younger. She was early 30s he was early 50s. Ex wife was “crazy” - of course. Nobody really likes to talk about timeline when they started dating. I have no real relationship with either of them. Ironically they are big time Catholic and I found it hilarious when they couldn’t have a church wedding.

LOL my dad and his second wife regularly lie about how long they've been married because my 1/2 sibling was conceived before my dad and my mom divorced.

President Biden was sleeping with Dr. Jill before she was divorced, so it must be okay.

At least Jill was not a mother and Joe was a widow. But, yes, we can never be held accountable for own actions. If everyone else is doing it, then it's okay...is that what you tell your children about drugs, driving drunk, cheating on their boyfriends/girlfriends?

I think Trump was pretty much a study of what not to do, including his mistresses and multiple marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ron Perlman left his wife his wife of 38 years for a woman near his children's age. I'm wondering how common this is (probably not this large an age gap)? In examples, what was the aftermath like for the man, woman, and children?

I think this is fairly common these days. Marriage is difficult over the long haul. Some say a marriage license is like a drivers license and should be renewed every 10 years. People fall out of love and would be happier with someone else. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal, and staying married to someone you don’t love seems stupid to me.

The new woman is the force to end a marriage that is already dying. For men in bad marriages, the new younger woman is the motivation to finally end a relationship they don’t really want to be in anymore.

I am the younger OW. My DH left his exW for me. As he explained it to me when we met, their marriage was terrible, had been bad for years, and he couldn’t ignore that anymore after developing feelings for me. DH didn’t have kids, so the divorce was fairly easy. It was emotionally difficult for his exW. She went to therapy and he was very fair and generous in their divorce. DH felt guilty for hurting her and would likely still help her out as a friend today. He didn’t love her and hadn’t loved her for many years. DH knew he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with her.

We don’t care if people know how we met. DH tells people openly. I know a little about his exW, but haven’t stalked her. I don’t know her, and the only feelings I have toward her are some guilt for my part in her pain. ExW couldn’t really do anything to mess up our lives, as we have nothing to hide. I believe she’s moved on with her life and doesn’t care about how we are living.

You sound really naive. What your husband told you may be the truth but likely he’s just rewriting history to make himself not feel guilty. OK so you cheated but don’t think that what he told you is the truth. It sucks what happened to the Ex wife. Don’t forget that your husband could have first left his marriage if it was so awful and started the relationship on the right foot with you.

I pray that she gets a taste of her own medicine soon. She will then realize what pain and hurt someone has gone through when there is an OW in their life.

If you are a victim, have faith, hold on, and trust that little thing called Karma. Because you can be a b*tch too, but karma is a bigger b*tch than you will ever need to be.

At 50, I am really starting to see a lot of people that treated others like crap have karma catch up with them. In some pretty spectacular ways too.

+1

Like fireworks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister married her law school professor - when they first met he was married with three kids. Ages of those kids - basically they were 5-10 yrs younger. She was early 30s he was early 50s. Ex wife was “crazy” - of course. Nobody really likes to talk about timeline when they started dating. I have no real relationship with either of them. Ironically they are big time Catholic and I found it hilarious when they couldn’t have a church wedding.

LOL my dad and his second wife regularly lie about how long they've been married because my 1/2 sibling was conceived before my dad and my mom divorced.

President Biden was sleeping with Dr. Jill before she was divorced, so it must be okay.

At least Jill was not a mother and Joe was a widow. But, yes, we can never be held accountable for own actions. If everyone else is doing it, then it's okay...is that what you tell your children about drugs, driving drunk, cheating on their boyfriends/girlfriends?

I think Trump was pretty much a study of what not to do, including his mistresses and multiple marriages.

So it's okay for the Bidens to be cheaters, then? Because they're democrats? Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister married her law school professor - when they first met he was married with three kids. Ages of those kids - basically they were 5-10 yrs younger. She was early 30s he was early 50s. Ex wife was “crazy” - of course. Nobody really likes to talk about timeline when they started dating. I have no real relationship with either of them. Ironically they are big time Catholic and I found it hilarious when they couldn’t have a church wedding.

LOL my dad and his second wife regularly lie about how long they've been married because my 1/2 sibling was conceived before my dad and my mom divorced.

President Biden was sleeping with Dr. Jill before she was divorced, so it must be okay.

At least Jill was not a mother and Joe was a widow. But, yes, we can never be held accountable for own actions. If everyone else is doing it, then it's okay...is that what you tell your children about drugs, driving drunk, cheating on their boyfriends/girlfriends?

I think Trump was pretty much a study of what not to do, including his mistresses and multiple marriages.

So it's okay for the Bidens to be cheaters, then? Because they're democrats? Got it.

Does anyone really GAF about a starter marriage that started at 18 years old and produced no children? Like how exactly separated they were? And that resulted in finding the love of your life that you spend nearly 50 years with? I certainly have no appetite to tar and feather these apparently life-ruining cheaters or anyone under similar circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad left my mom 3 years ago for a much younger woman after 35 years of marriage. I honestly felt that mom was better off without him. I don't think mom would have ever left. Mom was devastated but accepted the divorce when dad would not stop seeing his OW.

Mom wanted to keep everything civil and dad tried to take advantage of this by offering her a settlement that was a joke. Long story short my brother got mom a new lawyer and got mom a huge settlement and she is set for life.

We have never met the OW and she is banned from all family functions. That has caused huge problems in their relationship but that is not our problem.

Set for life off of someone else's labor. No wonder he divorced her.

Dad is that you?

Right? What an ass. After 35 yrs. of marriage, this woman has definitely earned that money (and likely more for putting up with shit for many years).

Yes, because men never have to put up with shit from their wives for 35 years.

Was anyone suggesting men walk away penniless?

Funny, how you expect women to do that but men should keep all the money earned in the marriage... mysoginist much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister married her law school professor - when they first met he was married with three kids. Ages of those kids - basically they were 5-10 yrs younger. She was early 30s he was early 50s. Ex wife was “crazy” - of course. Nobody really likes to talk about timeline when they started dating. I have no real relationship with either of them. Ironically they are big time Catholic and I found it hilarious when they couldn’t have a church wedding.

What is it with law school?

One law school classmate of mine became involved with a senior partner at her firm. He left his family for her and apparently the kids showed up at the firm and a screaming match ensued. The kicker is that she had spent our last year of law school planning this huge wedding to a guy that was a year ahead of us in law school. I barely knew her but she talked about the wedding so much that even I heard the story about how she got too skinny for her wedding dress ( ) and told the alterations person that she "didn't go to Ab Lab three times a week to have padding in her wedding dress."

Another classmate that I was friends with got together with her married boss. Similar to your sister, the wife was "crazy" and the "marriage had been over for years." This was, of course, news to the wife and kids. The thing that blew me away was my friend seemed wholly clueless that she was essentially a homewrecker.

I find this last part funny - and I hope your sister isn't married to my cousin's first husband! (I don't think he was a lawyer though). He was a college professor and was having an affair. They moved across the country for a fresh start, but guess who showed up? So my cousin divorced him. He came to her looking for help in annulling their marriage and she told him to take a hike.