Is dating harder for guys who have an average income?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Other than being short, or some other physical handicap, I can’t think of a worse problem for a man to have than having average ito below average income.

I can. He could be married to a fat, middle aged woman.

...who has gained 40 pounds since they met and tells him "I could lose the weight for a different man who supports me better, but it's not worth the effort for you."

You don't understand men. Once a woman becomes ugly to them, there is no coming back. If my wife gained 40 pounds I'd never find her attractive again even if she lost it 6 months later.

I'm the man who posted that and I'd be overjoyed if she lost half of the 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Other than being short, or some other physical handicap, I can’t think of a worse problem for a man to have than having average ito below average income.

I can. He could be married to a fat, middle aged woman.

...who has gained 40 pounds since they met and tells him "I could lose the weight for a different man who supports me better, but it's not worth the effort for you."

You don't understand men. Once a woman becomes ugly to them, there is no coming back. If my wife gained 40 pounds I'd never find her attractive again even if she lost it 6 months later.

I’m saying a little prayer of gratitude that I’m not married to a man like you.

Because you're a disgusting fat body?

NP. You should be ashamed of your attempt to shame. Your personality has removed anything else that may have otherwise worked in your favor. You can change ugly on the outside. The inside? That ain’t so easy.

And I too said a little prayer of thanks for not having someone that thinks like you. Most MEN don’t think like that. Thankfully. I’m not defending myself either. I’m just find your bullying someone who could potentially be overweight to be offensively brute.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I wouldn’t date a woman making much less than me. DW and I have always roughly made the same amount of money, plus or minus $10-20K. This year I think we will be exactly even, within $1000.

Never had an interest in dating a woman who wanted to leave the workforce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Other than being short, or some other physical handicap, I can’t think of a worse problem for a man to have than having average ito below average income.

I can. He could be married to a fat, middle aged woman.

...who has gained 40 pounds since they met and tells him "I could lose the weight for a different man who supports me better, but it's not worth the effort for you."

You don't understand men. Once a woman becomes ugly to them, there is no coming back. If my wife gained 40 pounds I'd never find her attractive again even if she lost it 6 months later.

I'm the man who posted that and I'd be overjoyed if she lost half of the 40.

NP. Men like you, I’m thankful for. I hope your wife realizes your value, and you can both look at your past journey, and a potential for salvage of the good, and repair of the broken for your marriage, family, and romance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I wouldn’t date a woman making much less than me. DW and I have always roughly made the same amount of money, plus or minus $10-20K. This year I think we will be exactly even, within $1000.

Never had an interest in dating a woman who wanted to leave the workforce.

Do you have kids? If she takes any time off to care for kids, she's going to make less

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Other than being short, or some other physical handicap, I can’t think of a worse problem for a man to have than having average ito below average income.

I can. He could be married to a fat, middle aged woman.

...who has gained 40 pounds since they met and tells him "I could lose the weight for a different man who supports me better, but it's not worth the effort for you."

You don't understand men. Once a woman becomes ugly to them, there is no coming back. If my wife gained 40 pounds I'd never find her attractive again even if she lost it 6 months later.

I’m saying a little prayer of gratitude that I’m not married to a man like you.

Because you're a disgusting fat body?

NP. You should be ashamed of your attempt to shame. Your personality has removed anything else that may have otherwise worked in your favor. You can change ugly on the outside. The inside? That ain’t so easy.

And I too said a little prayer of thanks for not having someone that thinks like you. Most MEN don’t think like that. Thankfully. I’m not defending myself either. I’m just find your bullying someone who could potentially be overweight to be offensively brute.

+100000

I’m the PP who is grateful that I’m not married to a guy like that, and part of me wishes I could post a picture of myself in a swimsuit to show that no, I am neither disgusting nor fat. But fat or not, only a terrible person would be okay with being married to a man with your personality. The rest of us can just enjoy our relationships or be glad we are single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I wouldn’t date a woman making much less than me. DW and I have always roughly made the same amount of money, plus or minus $10-20K. This year I think we will be exactly even, within $1000.

Never had an interest in dating a woman who wanted to leave the workforce.

I think that a lot of men feel a burden of a societal expectation to allocate a significant amount of financial provision to women. I don’t think there is a wrong answer in establishing roles with your spouse in your marriage and family either way. Your dating approach was sensible in that regard. Bring something to the table besides your appetite! I say this as someone who has been happily provided for, and a happy sole provider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Other than being short, or some other physical handicap, I can’t think of a worse problem for a man to have than having average ito below average income.

I can. He could be married to a fat, middle aged woman.

...who has gained 40 pounds since they met and tells him "I could lose the weight for a different man who supports me better, but it's not worth the effort for you."

You don't understand men. Once a woman becomes ugly to them, there is no coming back. If my wife gained 40 pounds I'd never find her attractive again even if she lost it 6 months later.

I’m saying a little prayer of gratitude that I’m not married to a man like you.

Because you're a disgusting fat body?

NP. You should be ashamed of your attempt to shame. Your personality has removed anything else that may have otherwise worked in your favor. You can change ugly on the outside. The inside? That ain’t so easy.

And I too said a little prayer of thanks for not having someone that thinks like you. Most MEN don’t think like that. Thankfully. I’m not defending myself either. I’m just find your bullying someone who could potentially be overweight to be offensively brute.

+100000

I’m the PP who is grateful that I’m not married to a guy like that, and part of me wishes I could post a picture of myself in a swimsuit to show that no, I am neither disgusting nor fat. But fat or not, only a terrible person would be okay with being married to a man with your personality. The rest of us can just enjoy our relationships or be glad we are single.

Word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I wouldn’t date a woman making much less than me. DW and I have always roughly made the same amount of money, plus or minus $10-20K. This year I think we will be exactly even, within $1000.

Never had an interest in dating a woman who wanted to leave the workforce.

Do you have kids? If she takes any time off to care for kids, she's going to make less

Yes, we already have a kid. She took her maximum leave and I was one of the first men in my workplace to take full parental leave (5 months). DW is getting her highest ever bonus this year, plus she got another promotion this year. We are doing fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Other than being short, or some other physical handicap, I can’t think of a worse problem for a man to have than having average ito below average income.

I can. He could be married to a fat, middle aged woman.

...who has gained 40 pounds since they met and tells him "I could lose the weight for a different man who supports me better, but it's not worth the effort for you."

You don't understand men. Once a woman becomes ugly to them, there is no coming back. If my wife gained 40 pounds I'd never find her attractive again even if she lost it 6 months later.

I’m saying a little prayer of gratitude that I’m not married to a man like you.

Because you're a disgusting fat body?

NP. You should be ashamed of your attempt to shame. Your personality has removed anything else that may have otherwise worked in your favor. You can change ugly on the outside. The inside? That ain’t so easy.

And I too said a little prayer of thanks for not having someone that thinks like you. Most MEN don’t think like that. Thankfully. I’m not defending myself either. I’m just find your bullying someone who could potentially be overweight to be offensively brute.

+100000

I’m the PP who is grateful that I’m not married to a guy like that, and part of me wishes I could post a picture of myself in a swimsuit to show that no, I am neither disgusting nor fat. But fat or not, only a terrible person would be okay with being married to a man with your personality. The rest of us can just enjoy our relationships or be glad we are single.

lol. You're attempting to shame a man for being repulsed by morbidly obese women in a thread questioning if men can be attractive if they aren't wealthy?

That's rich. You're not only fat and dumb, but you're a hypocrite to boot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I wouldn’t date a woman making much less than me. DW and I have always roughly made the same amount of money, plus or minus $10-20K. This year I think we will be exactly even, within $1000.

Never had an interest in dating a woman who wanted to leave the workforce.

Do you have kids? If she takes any time off to care for kids, she's going to make less

Yes, we already have a kid. She took her maximum leave and I was one of the first men in my workplace to take full parental leave (5 months). DW is getting her highest ever bonus this year, plus she got another promotion this year. We are doing fine.

My wife took six years off to raise our child, so I'm ok if she makes less. Though superstar that she is, she's back within 10K of me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I wouldn’t date a woman making much less than me. DW and I have always roughly made the same amount of money, plus or minus $10-20K. This year I think we will be exactly even, within $1000.

Never had an interest in dating a woman who wanted to leave the workforce.

I think that a lot of men feel a burden of a societal expectation to allocate a significant amount of financial provision to women. I don’t think there is a wrong answer in establishing roles with your spouse in your marriage and family either way. Your dating approach was sensible in that regard. Bring something to the table besides your appetite! I say this as someone who has been happily provided for, and a happy sole provider.

Right, I completely agree with you. If my DW had to leave the workforce due to illness, I would happily provide and support our family. Similarly, I encouraged her to take maximum leave when our baby was born. But I’m not interested in being the “breadwinner” and having the SAH spouse who is child rearing all day. That’s not the life I wanted, nor is it the life DW wanted (she’s a busy executive for a large company). I was pretty clear about this when I was dating. Further, I really didn’t continue seeing women if it was obvious that they didn’t have solid career ambitions.

Like you said, bring something more to the table than an appetite. A lot of the couples we socialize with are similarly minded, with women who are in management roles in companies, govt, and nonprofits.

I should add: I don’t look down on SAHPs. We are working from home and watching the kid FT....it’s exhausting. When I was home on parental leave, my day was busy busy busy. It’s a FT job. But I just prefer a partner who is career-driven, than kid-driven. It’s a preference than people should consciously think about when dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It probably depends on age and attractiveness. I met my DH in our 20s, we both made peanuts (like our combined HHI was around 65k), but he was hot and fun and we lived really, really cheaply. If I met him at 40 making his current income, that would probably be less attractive to me because I value financial security more now. But I didn't just meet him, we've been together many years and have multiple kids he takes care of with dedication, so it's obviously not the same comparison!

This. In your 20s its all about the potential

Yes. I’m a wealthy divorced woman- growing with someone vs meeting them at 40 is so different. I do t care what a man earns but I very much care that he can travel/ski/golf with me. I have an expensive lifestyle I thoroughly enjoy- need a financial equal to play with me

+1. Of course, why would you give that up? Potential is a 20's thing, not a 40's thing. You're either wealthy or you're not by your 40's.

Stats say people don't become wealthy or millionaires until their 60s.

There are lots of people in their 30's and 40's here in DC who are millionaires, although I wouldn't consider a net worth of $1M to be wealthy. If you're talking about amassing $10M+, then yeah, that's a different matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I wouldn’t date a woman making much less than me. DW and I have always roughly made the same amount of money, plus or minus $10-20K. This year I think we will be exactly even, within $1000.

Never had an interest in dating a woman who wanted to leave the workforce.

I think that a lot of men feel a burden of a societal expectation to allocate a significant amount of financial provision to women. I don’t think there is a wrong answer in establishing roles with your spouse in your marriage and family either way. Your dating approach was sensible in that regard. Bring something to the table besides your appetite! I say this as someone who has been happily provided for, and a happy sole provider.

S

Right, I completely agree with you. If my DW had to leave the workforce due to illness, I would happily provide and support our family. Similarly, I encouraged her to take maximum leave when our baby was born. But I’m not interested in being the “breadwinner” and having the SAH spouse who is child rearing all day. That’s not the life I wanted, nor is it the life DW wanted (she’s a busy executive for a large company). I was pretty clear about this when I was dating. Further, I really didn’t continue seeing women if it was obvious that they didn’t have solid career ambitions.

Like you said, bring something more to the table than an appetite. A lot of the couples we socialize with are similarly minded, with women who are in management roles in companies, govt, and nonprofits.

I should add: I don’t look down on SAHPs. We are working from home and watching the kid FT....it’s exhausting. When I was home on parental leave, my day was busy busy busy. It’s a FT job. But I just prefer a partner who is career-driven, than kid-driven. It’s a preference than people should consciously think about when dating.

So you prefer your kids be raised by daycare rather than your wife? What a dad!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Other than being short, or some other physical handicap, I can’t think of a worse problem for a man to have than having average ito below average income.

I can. He could be married to a fat, middle aged woman.

...who has gained 40 pounds since they met and tells him "I could lose the weight for a different man who supports me better, but it's not worth the effort for you."

You don't understand men. Once a woman becomes ugly to them, there is no coming back. If my wife gained 40 pounds I'd never find her attractive again even if she lost it 6 months later.

I’m saying a little prayer of gratitude that I’m not married to a man like you.

Because you're a disgusting fat body?

NP. You should be ashamed of your attempt to shame. Your personality has removed anything else that may have otherwise worked in your favor. You can change ugly on the outside. The inside? That ain’t so easy.

And I too said a little prayer of thanks for not having someone that thinks like you. Most MEN don’t think like that. Thankfully. I’m not defending myself either. I’m just find your bullying someone who could potentially be overweight to be offensively brute.

+100000

I’m the PP who is grateful that I’m not married to a guy like that, and part of me wishes I could post a picture of myself in a swimsuit to show that no, I am neither disgusting nor fat. But fat or not, only a terrible person would be okay with being married to a man with your personality. The rest of us can just enjoy our relationships or be glad we are single.

lol. You're attempting to shame a man for being repulsed by morbidly obese women in a thread questioning if men can be attractive if they aren't wealthy?

That's rich. You're not only fat and dumb, but you're a hypocrite to boot.

Aww you sound like a real catch.