Is dating harder for guys who have an average income?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would any woman want to date someone with such a low income?

Potential? Good person? Love?

Make sure you post this on your dating profile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm early 50's, male, married, and about a 7.5/10 for looks and make about 110K.


This thread is definitely telling me I should stay in my somewhat unhappy marriage, or if I can't, to embrace being alone as a gift from God.

That is correct. My fed dh has a number of single older male fed co-workers who apparently thought getting divorced in middle age was a great idea. They are still alone and the young women they flirt with are just creeped out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm early 50's, male, married, and about a 7.5/10 for looks and make about 110K.


This thread is definitely telling me I should stay in my somewhat unhappy marriage, or if I can't, to embrace being alone as a gift from God.

That is correct. My fed dh has a number of single older male fed co-workers who apparently thought getting divorced in middle age was a great idea. They are still alone and the young women they flirt with are just creeped out.

They are most likely broke slobs. If you are decent looking and have halfway decent social skills, you can do ok, even in the DC area. If he is smart, he will head to South America or SE Asia and have a field day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm early 50's, male, married, and about a 7.5/10 for looks and make about 110K.


This thread is definitely telling me I should stay in my somewhat unhappy marriage, or if I can't, to embrace being alone as a gift from God.

Come on. Statistically you are above average.

My wife considers me unambitious and below average in salary compared to other DC men (I make slightly more than her.) I definitely am a work to live rather than a live to work person. When we dated for two years, I think that was enough for her.

She does appreciate that I stay fit and was blessed with fairly good looks.

It all changes when you have kids. Kids are expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm early 50's, male, married, and about a 7.5/10 for looks and make about 110K.


This thread is definitely telling me I should stay in my somewhat unhappy marriage, or if I can't, to embrace being alone as a gift from God.

That is correct. My fed dh has a number of single older male fed co-workers who apparently thought getting divorced in middle age was a great idea. They are still alone and the young women they flirt with are just creeped out.

They are most likely broke slobs. If you are decent looking and have halfway decent social skills, you can do ok, even in the DC area. If he is smart, he will head to South America or SE Asia and have a field day.

Oh please no! No 90 day fiance fiasco. In my experience and observations the majority of modern mail order brides leave the husband in a few weeks or a few years and have major issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Age 25 and making $80k, no problem. Age 45? Problem.

This. When I was young and single, I cared about education and potential more than current income. Now I'm in my 40's and married with kids, but if I was ever single again then lack of high income/wealth would be a deal breaker. Once guys are in their late 30's+, they're typically either successful or they're not going to be.

I made good money, made great investments, and saved a lot. If I was ever single again, then I would only be interested in men who were doing really well financially. I would never consider financing a man's lifestyle because that money would be for me and my kids. Plus I wouldn't be attracted to the type of man who would accept a woman supporting him or a man who wasn't driven to be successful. I would never downgrade my lifestyle to meet a man where he is either. The man needs to be a high earner or have high net worth to keep up.

I don't get this...how would you be forced to downgrade your lifestyle with an average earner? You would not spend ANY of your own money with your new hypothetical partner for various couples activities, and instead rely on him to pay for EVERYTHING? Yuck.

Now you're inventing things that I never said. I can pay my own way, but the guy needs to be able to pay his own way. I enjoy a second home, luxury vacations, fine dining, etc. I wouldn't be ok with foregoing any of this because a guy couldn't pay for his share. I won't pay for a luxury vacation for him and I won't accept giving up these things that my kids and I enjoy because he can only afford to drive to a camping trip. That's what it means to refuse to downgrade my lifestyle.

You're a hypocrite if you believe that the women you date don't think the same way regarding whatever lifestyle they're accustomed to. None of them would date you if you made $50K. This just seems to upset some men (and some women) who feel that any line where they can't make the uncut is immoral. You're a hypocrite because you made the cut somewhere too and you definitely have your own standards to meet for people you date.

It's all hypothetical for me, but very real for the divorced women I know IRL who are in the same financial situation. I only know one who picked a man who she has to pay for the guy and his kids, and it's a very messed up situation that has created a lot of problems between her and her kids. Plus he begs her to marry him and she won't because she doesn't want to ever have to give him half her assets. I would never get in this kind of situation. But go ahead and tell me that you're morally superior because you and the people you date have absolutely no standards at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Age 25 and making $80k, no problem. Age 45? Problem.

This. When I was young and single, I cared about education and potential more than current income. Now I'm in my 40's and married with kids, but if I was ever single again then lack of high income/wealth would be a deal breaker. Once guys are in their late 30's+, they're typically either successful or they're not going to be.

I made good money, made great investments, and saved a lot. If I was ever single again, then I would only be interested in men who were doing really well financially. I would never consider financing a man's lifestyle because that money would be for me and my kids. Plus I wouldn't be attracted to the type of man who would accept a woman supporting him or a man who wasn't driven to be successful. I would never downgrade my lifestyle to meet a man where he is either. The man needs to be a high earner or have high net worth to keep up.

I don't get this...how would you be forced to downgrade your lifestyle with an average earner? You would not spend ANY of your own money with your new hypothetical partner for various couples activities, and instead rely on him to pay for EVERYTHING? Yuck.

Now you're inventing things that I never said. I can pay my own way, but the guy needs to be able to pay his own way. I enjoy a second home, luxury vacations, fine dining, etc. I wouldn't be ok with foregoing any of this because a guy couldn't pay for his share. I won't pay for a luxury vacation for him and I won't accept giving up these things that my kids and I enjoy because he can only afford to drive to a camping trip. That's what it means to refuse to downgrade my lifestyle.

You're a hypocrite if you believe that the women you date don't think the same way regarding whatever lifestyle they're accustomed to. None of them would date you if you made $50K. This just seems to upset some men (and some women) who feel that any line where they can't make the uncut is immoral. You're a hypocrite because you made the cut somewhere too and you definitely have your own standards to meet for people you date.

It's all hypothetical for me, but very real for the divorced women I know IRL who are in the same financial situation. I only know one who picked a man who she has to pay for the guy and his kids, and it's a very messed up situation that has created a lot of problems between her and her kids. Plus he begs her to marry him and she won't because she doesn't want to ever have to give him half her assets. I would never get in this kind of situation. But go ahead and tell me that you're morally superior because you and the people you date have absolutely no standards at all.

You over-generalize. Not all women prioritize "the lifestyle they are accustomed to" when seeking a partner. Surely there must be some out there that would date a social worker or cop, right?

I am not morally superior to anyone. Not sure why you are so angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm early 50's, male, married, and about a 7.5/10 for looks and make about 110K.


This thread is definitely telling me I should stay in my somewhat unhappy marriage, or if I can't, to embrace being alone as a gift from God.

That is correct. My fed dh has a number of single older male fed co-workers who apparently thought getting divorced in middle age was a great idea. They are still alone and the young women they flirt with are just creeped out.

100% opposite my experience. My fed DH (GS-14 lawyer) has literally dozens of stories of his late 40s male colleagues sleeping their way through all the apps, post divorce These are decent looking guys with some advanced social skills (many are courtroom attorneys). They are definitely fairing better than their ex wives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Under 80k? I know a woman's income doesn't really matter to a guy.

Depends. If the guy is good looking, good in bed, and good husband potential, doesn’t matter as much. But future potential/ambition matter. I don’t care if you’re a plumber but be the best damn plumber there is and know how to hustle. Kind of a bad example because plumbers make $$$ but you get the idea. If you’re an investment banker taking it in but spend all leisure time playing video games, that’s a problem too. Just own who you are. It’ll get you laid often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm early 50's, male, married, and about a 7.5/10 for looks and make about 110K.


This thread is definitely telling me I should stay in my somewhat unhappy marriage, or if I can't, to embrace being alone as a gift from God.

That is correct. My fed dh has a number of single older male fed co-workers who apparently thought getting divorced in middle age was a great idea. They are still alone and the young women they flirt with are just creeped out.

100% opposite my experience. My fed DH (GS-14 lawyer) has literally dozens of stories of his late 40s male colleagues sleeping their way through all the apps, post divorce These are decent looking guys with some advanced social skills (many are courtroom attorneys). They are definitely fairing better than their ex wives.

How does your DH have details of the sex lives of his coworkers' exes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm early 50's, male, married, and about a 7.5/10 for looks and make about 110K.


This thread is definitely telling me I should stay in my somewhat unhappy marriage, or if I can't, to embrace being alone as a gift from God.

That is correct. My fed dh has a number of single older male fed co-workers who apparently thought getting divorced in middle age was a great idea. They are still alone and the young women they flirt with are just creeped out.

They are most likely broke slobs. If you are decent looking and have halfway decent social skills, you can do ok, even in the DC area. If he is smart, he will head to South America or SE Asia and have a field day.

Oh please no! No 90 day fiance fiasco. In my experience and observations the majority of modern mail order brides leave the husband in a few weeks or a few years and have major issues.

Sounds like the only experience you have is sitting on your bunda watching 90 day fiance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would any woman want to date someone with such a low income?

Potential? Good person? Love?

Make sure you post this on your dating profile.

No. Don’t advertise your wealth nor seek someone else’s. There is a square to spare, just be you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm early 50's, male, married, and about a 7.5/10 for looks and make about 110K.


This thread is definitely telling me I should stay in my somewhat unhappy marriage, or if I can't, to embrace being alone as a gift from God.

That is correct. My fed dh has a number of single older male fed co-workers who apparently thought getting divorced in middle age was a great idea. They are still alone and the young women they flirt with are just creeped out.

They are most likely broke slobs. If you are decent looking and have halfway decent social skills, you can do ok, even in the DC area. If he is smart, he will head to South America or SE Asia and have a field day.

Oh please no! No 90 day fiance fiasco. In my experience and observations the majority of modern mail order brides leave the husband in a few weeks or a few years and have major issues.

Let be real - All the guys on 90 day fiance are chosen because they have social and emotional issues that make for great TV. Any normal American guy dating abroad is treated like a celebrity. I'll seen it firsthand and it's hard to believe until you experience it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband was making 50k when we met in our mid twenties. Didn’t matter to me and I was already a homeowner. I outearned him until our late 30s.

Hugs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm early 50's, male, married, and about a 7.5/10 for looks and make about 110K.


This thread is definitely telling me I should stay in my somewhat unhappy marriage, or if I can't, to embrace being alone as a gift from God.

That is correct. My fed dh has a number of single older male fed co-workers who apparently thought getting divorced in middle age was a great idea. They are still alone and the young women they flirt with are just creeped out.

They are most likely broke slobs. If you are decent looking and have halfway decent social skills, you can do ok, even in the DC area. If he is smart, he will head to South America or SE Asia and have a field day.

Oh please no! No 90 day fiance fiasco. In my experience and observations the majority of modern mail order brides leave the husband in a few weeks or a few years and have major issues.

Let be real - All the guys on 90 day fiance are chosen because they have social and emotional issues that make for great TV. Any normal American guy dating abroad is treated like a celebrity. I'll seen it firsthand and it's hard to believe until you experience it.

Yeah, treated like a celebrity and used for his money and citizenship. Then most of the pretty young women bail. I’m Eastern European (no, not a mail order bride, I came here as a kid) and I’ve seen this so many times. Older out of shape guy, beautiful young woman from a struggling country, meet online and then in person, love at first sight... til she is a citizen or meets another guy or gets an awesome job willing to sponsor her.