Disappointment that Santa isn’t real

[Anonymous]

I just read this to my 18 year old daughter who said "that sucks". She says when she found out the truth she didn't think we were liars, she realized that we did a lot of stuff to make things fun for her. We also did the Elf on the Shelf and the tooth Fairy. Hate to sound like an old fogey but man you guys are totally overthinking this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid asked point blank at age 8 and said she wanted the truth. So I told her. She is almost 10 now and is still mad and upset at me that I didn't lie to her. I feel awful still and wish I had just said "Of course Santa is real" and dealt with the lying issue later.

I experienced this exact scenario. My DC now tells me, "You broke my heart
"

[Anonymous]

As mom of a three year old, I’m reading this whole thread as a PSA against telling too soon.

[Anonymous]

One of mine found out in kindergarten. He asked me why the stormtrooper's packaging had a sticker that said try me with an arrow pointing to the button on the action figure that made noise. I said, without thinking, it was so parents could try it in the store first to see if it worked and if they liked the sound. He started screeching, "I knew it, I knew it! Santa isn't real!" He had been questioning already and I saw no point in lying to him any more. Once he found that out, the concept of the Tooth Fairy was blown (never did the Easter Bunny thing). He is ok and not scarred.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As mom of a three year old, I’m reading this whole thread as a PSA against telling too soon.

You NEVER actually tell. You gradually admit but not really. Mine are in middle school and I still talk about Santa. It’s like what’s the harm. It’s all fun.

[Anonymous]

OP here. It’s been interesting reading all the different perspectives on this. I don’t think we ruined anything for DD, who is still super excited about Christmas and will still get a stocking and presents from Santa. She loves pretending, so I think she’ll get into it. We didn’t teach her about Santa to begin with, she picked it up elsewhere, and it hasn’t been a big part of our Christmases. So it’s a disappointment, but not a big loss. I think maybe it’s something she hoped was real, the way she wishes unicorns were real.

This evening we were listening to a story that had a part about Santa’s elves getting gifts ready for Christmas, and she asked me, very seriously, where the parents get all the presents for Christmas. So I answered her, very seriously, that all parents are magic (which is true). She giggled and giggled. She’s totally fine.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand how your kids can grow up in a diverse area like this area and get to age 7+ and still not know Santa is not real. There are so many different religions and cultures here and all it would take is one kid to say, “we don’t celebrate Christmas” and then all the other kids start chiming in with “neither do we, my older cousin said Santa is just a character, blah blah blah.” It honestly boggles my mind.

[Anonymous]

Not really that hard to imagine with 1) all of the people, including non-Christians who celebrate teh secular side of Christmas, and 2) most people are not trolls and don't ruin it for kids whose families participate.

[Anonymous]

Tell your kid they are now “read into the club” and now it’s their job to help spread holiday cheer to others. Santa doesn’t have to be this monolithic thing. Santa can be a little bit of spirit and generosity and happiness inside us all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how your kids can grow up in a diverse area like this area and get to age 7+ and still not know Santa is not real. There are so many different religions and cultures here and all it would take is one kid to say, “we don’t celebrate Christmas” and then all the other kids start chiming in with “neither do we, my older cousin said Santa is just a character, blah blah blah.” It honestly boggles my mind.

What I don't understand is how people can like you said grow up in this diverse area with people who don't celebrate Christmas at all, yes this is a thing to the pp who thinks people just celebrate Christmas and still ac like childhood is ruined or you are doing your child a great disservice if they don't believe in Santa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid asked point blank at age 8 and said she wanted the truth. So I told her. She is almost 10 now and is still mad and upset at me that I didn't lie to her. I feel awful still and wish I had just said "Of course Santa is real" and dealt with the lying issue later.

I experienced this exact scenario. My DC now tells me, "You broke my heart
"

This is not normal at all. Either your children need to see a therapist for emotional issues or you need to see one to learn to establish boundaries with your children and nip this emotional manipulation now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In our house you do not get presents on Christmas if you don't believe in Santa (older kids here). When kids got old enough and were struggling with the notion I told them yes, Santa is real...it is just not who you may think it is. Then explained 'Santa' is a allegorical identity for those how want to share gifts, joy and a little bit of magic to everyone around Christmas. I also told them to think about this for a minute: consider for a moment that for hundreds of years (okay, maybe decades) that people all over the world work together to bring a real sort of magic into the world of children. They are nicer to each other. They reach out and send cards and messages to people they haven't seen in a long time. They buy gifts and give donations to strangers in need. This is what Santa is and this is why he is real and needs to stay real.

From the day DC stopped believing we create a RAK calendar and they is how they now participate. So in our house Santa is real and DC now have to give back and share in Christmas in a different way.

Too me, the fact that so many people keep this time magic and special for all children is no less magical than the story of Santa Claus.

This is so messed up on so many levels.

[Anonymous]

Why is it messed up... you get to have fun believing in Santa and then you get to be Santa? Seems easy to me.

[Anonymous]

Not Santa, but--when I was 6 or so my dad and I were talking and he commented "wouldn't it be nice if we had magic?" I pointed out that we did, there was a TV show called Mr. Wizard all about it. He informed me that was all made up. And then he said "BUT, we have electricity and that's just as good". (We were required to memorize Ohm's law as children. He really did like electricity)

[Anonymous]

DS once told me he figured it out when he was 5, because the ONLY thing he wanted for xmas was to be able to fly, just for a day, and Santa did not come through.