Disappointment that Santa isn’t real

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just read this to my 18 year old daughter who said "that sucks". She says when she found out the truth she didn't think we were liars, she realized that we did a lot of stuff to make things fun for her. We also did the Elf on the Shelf and the tooth Fairy. Hate to sound like an old fogey but man you guys are totally overthinking this.

I think you’re the one overthinking this. A kid who’s curious and wants to know is just going to be frustrated with your delay tactics. They’ll still enjoy the season and be excited on Christmas morning. The kids are okay. Really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're going through this right now with our 8 yo.

I tried to explain that Santa Claus is the spirit of Christmas and the urge to give something to someone you love that you know will make them happy.

Thisis what we did. Santa is the spirit of giving to others that everyone feels

Op here. We talked about this some too but I think it’s over her head.

We are going to invite her to wrap the Santa present for her 2 year old brother after he goes to bed on Christmas Eve. Maybe she’ll find some fun in being Santa herself.

Try again, but not with Christmas presents. Have her make cookies, or do art, or sing a song, etc, for someone else, and then talk about how that made her feel. Then talk about how that feeling of love and care and joy is really what Christmas is about.

I was 9 when I found out I had to help be the Easter Bunny one year because my mom had worked late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is it messed up... you get to have fun believing in Santa and then you get to be Santa? Seems easy to me.

What’s a RAK calendar?

[Anonymous]

I was astonished one night many years ago, I was outside shoveling snow and DS was playing in the yard and said "I see Santa". I said "mmhm" thinking he met someone's yard decoration--and then saw Santa coming up the sidewalk carrying a bag of oranges. Dashed inside for my camera (pre cell phone). After a short visit and being given oranges Santa continued on his way.

A few years later I found out it was a neighbor we just never saw otherwise, he did it every year but that was the only year we happened to see him. But honest to God it was a Santa experience. The Santa we took DS to see as a child never wore a red suit--because it was not xmas yet. He wore lumberjack pants and a long sleeved underwear type shirt and suspenders and had a real beard and Mrs. Claus wore a long calico type dress and they sat in rocking chairs near a wood stove. Also you couldn't see him during the day because he was busy, and he was NOT at a store.

I don't remember Santa himself being that huge a deal when I was a kid. Much more emphasis on Advent and the nativity even though yes, we got presents "from Santa". The "magic" on xmas eve was more a sense that Jesus was being born and put in the manger RIGHT NOW.

[Anonymous]

RAK- random acts of kindness- lots of examines in Google

[Anonymous]

I said, “oh sweetheart, you sound really disappointed about that. Do you want to talk about it?” She didn’t answer.

I can't believe you talk to your four year this way. I wouldn't have answered either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS once told me he figured it out when he was 5, because the ONLY thing he wanted for xmas was to be able to fly, just for a day, and Santa did not come through.

Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. I would say the majority of kids have figured it out well before their parents tell them, but they go along with it because Christmas is so tied into Santa in their household, look at all the responses of people pushing their kids to believe for presents and make it clear they stop doing anything fun on Christmas once Santa days are over, of course, they are going to say they believe if they are told they aren't going o get presents and it's strongly implied Christmas will be miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I said, “oh sweetheart, you sound really disappointed about that. Do you want to talk about it?” She didn’t answer.

I can't believe you talk to your four year this way. I wouldn't have answered either.

Really? Why wouldn’t I talk to her like that? Sometimes she says yes and then we have a long conversation. And sometimes she’s not interested.

How do you talk to your kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS once told me he figured it out when he was 5, because the ONLY thing he wanted for xmas was to be able to fly, just for a day, and Santa did not come through.

Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. I would say the majority of kids have figured it out well before their parents tell them, but they go along with it because Christmas is so tied into Santa in their household, look at all the responses of people pushing their kids to believe for presents and make it clear they stop doing anything fun on Christmas once Santa days are over, of course, they are going to say they believe if they are told they aren't going o get presents and it's strongly implied Christmas will be miserable.

This 100%. Also I think kids frequently "know" these things without overthinking it like we adults do.

It's more that kids like to play, and interrupting their play by emphasizing it's just play ("No, no, Santa isn't real") can be disappointing. If my daughter hosts a "tea party" with her play set and her stuffed animals, it would seriously upset her if I came in and said, "this is all fake, you know Mr. Bear can't talk!" but not because she actually believes it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS once told me he figured it out when he was 5, because the ONLY thing he wanted for xmas was to be able to fly, just for a day, and Santa did not come through.

Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. I would say the majority of kids have figured it out well before their parents tell them, but they go along with it because Christmas is so tied into Santa in their household, look at all the responses of people pushing their kids to believe for presents and make it clear they stop doing anything fun on Christmas once Santa days are over, of course, they are going to say they believe if they are told they aren't going o get presents and it's strongly implied Christmas will be miserable.

This 100%. Also I think kids frequently "know" these things without overthinking it like we adults do.

It's more that kids like to play, and interrupting their play by emphasizing it's just play ("No, no, Santa isn't real") can be disappointing. If my daughter hosts a "tea party" with her play set and her stuffed animals, it would seriously upset her if I came in and said, "this is all fake, you know Mr. Bear can't talk!" but not because she actually believes it.

I think it depends on the kid. At 4 yo, my daughter was unimpressed when Elsa made it snow in a Disney show because "of course, she just used her magic." Zero doubt. At 6 yo, she burst into tears when her Wild Kratts Halloween costume didn't turn her into an animal. She really believed it would. Even this year at 7 she had to try out her Hermione wand that came with her Halloween costume to see if it would work. She suspected it wasn't "real" but just had to double check. She has never doubted Santa, not for one second.

[Anonymous]

I'm way over age of believing in Santa, yet, somehow, I don't even write to Santa, but I give hints of different items that I hope Santa brings me. Santa never fails and those hints always show up. Either Santa is real or my DH and children actually listen! Naw, Santa is real.

[Anonymous]

Here is the Washington Post take:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2020/12/17/santa-is-real/

[Anonymous]

....and someone told me I was over the top. The WP just said the same thing, albeit better.

[Anonymous]

Tell her that Santa is a really fun thing to pretend about and how about you all just keep pretending Santa is real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS once told me he figured it out when he was 5, because the ONLY thing he wanted for xmas was to be able to fly, just for a day, and Santa did not come through.

Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. I would say the majority of kids have figured it out well before their parents tell them, but they go along with it because Christmas is so tied into Santa in their household, look at all the responses of people pushing their kids to believe for presents and make it clear they stop doing anything fun on Christmas once Santa days are over, of course, they are going to say they believe if they are told they aren't going o get presents and it's strongly implied Christmas will be miserable.

This 100%. Also I think kids frequently "know" these things without overthinking it like we adults do.

It's more that kids like to play, and interrupting their play by emphasizing it's just play ("No, no, Santa isn't real") can be disappointing. If my daughter hosts a "tea party" with her play set and her stuffed animals, it would seriously upset her if I came in and said, "this is all fake, you know Mr. Bear can't talk!" but not because she actually believes it.

I think it depends on the kid. At 4 yo, my daughter was unimpressed when Elsa made it snow in a Disney show because "of course, she just used her magic." Zero doubt. At 6 yo, she burst into tears when her Wild Kratts Halloween costume didn't turn her into an animal. She really believed it would. Even this year at 7 she had to try out her Hermione wand that came with her Halloween costume to see if it would work. She suspected it wasn't "real" but just had to double check. She has never doubted Santa, not for one second.

For ages I had my daughter convinced her wand worked the garage door. Got an extra opener that I kept in the door. It was fun! Also she doesn’t think I’m a liar because of it.