Disappointment that Santa isn’t real

[Anonymous]

DC thought they could turn the red street lights green when they were 4/5, it might take them 6 or 7 tries but that magic worked every time...eventually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS once told me he figured it out when he was 5, because the ONLY thing he wanted for xmas was to be able to fly, just for a day, and Santa did not come through.

Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. I would say the majority of kids have figured it out well before their parents tell them, but they go along with it because Christmas is so tied into Santa in their household, look at all the responses of people pushing their kids to believe for presents and make it clear they stop doing anything fun on Christmas once Santa days are over, of course, they are going to say they believe if they are told they aren't going o get presents and it's strongly implied Christmas will be miserable.

This 100%. Also I think kids frequently "know" these things without overthinking it like we adults do.

It's more that kids like to play, and interrupting their play by emphasizing it's just play ("No, no, Santa isn't real") can be disappointing. If my daughter hosts a "tea party" with her play set and her stuffed animals, it would seriously upset her if I came in and said, "this is all fake, you know Mr. Bear can't talk!" but not because she actually believes it.

I think it depends on the kid. At 4 yo, my daughter was unimpressed when Elsa made it snow in a Disney show because "of course, she just used her magic." Zero doubt. At 6 yo, she burst into tears when her Wild Kratts Halloween costume didn't turn her into an animal. She really believed it would. Even this year at 7 she had to try out her Hermione wand that came with her Halloween costume to see if it would work. She suspected it wasn't "real" but just had to double check. She has never doubted Santa, not for one second.

Your daughter would be in the minority then, the group of kids hat fully believe and never question, until parents tell them the truth. Like the majority of kids a 6 realize they can't actually turn into the things they pretend about, but still have fun playing it anyway. It would be shocking if she was axtually crying about that, most likely it was jus one more thing in a very long list of things that frustrated her that week because she couldn't do it yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just read this to my 18 year old daughter who said "that sucks". She says when she found out the truth she didn't think we were liars, she realized that we did a lot of stuff to make things fun for her. We also did the Elf on the Shelf and the tooth Fairy. Hate to sound like an old fogey but man you guys are totally overthinking this.

I think you’re the one overthinking this. A kid who’s curious and wants to know is just going to be frustrated with your delay tactics. They’ll still enjoy the season and be excited on Christmas morning. The kids are okay. Really.

+1 but I think there's a level of narcissism involved in the parents who are obsessed with making their child believe and keeping them "innocent".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC thought they could turn the red street lights green when they were 4/5, it might take them 6 or 7 tries but that magic worked every time...eventually.

Did they ever try to change the lights while you were crossing the streets? Probably not, because they knew they couldn't but because they were kids they enjoyed playing they had that kind of power. They gave themselves a little bit of control in this crazy world, power useful for mom and dad too. Kids are great that way they can believe. and not believe at the same time and still have fun, which is why being overbearing with Santa to the point of issuing threats isn't needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC thought they could turn the red street lights green when they were 4/5, it might take them 6 or 7 tries but that magic worked every time...eventually.

My kid who has never believed in Santa also thinks she can work magic. She believes this even though I don't actively encourage it. There's not an inherent connection between the "magic" of Santa and believing that our world is an enchanted place.

[Anonymous]

I learned that Santa wasn't real in 2nd grade. Some kids at school had mentioned it, but of course I didn't believe it because my parents said he was real & they didn't lie, right? Imagine my astonishment when I learned that in fact adults tell fibs too. I was truly upset about the lie part, not that Santa wasn't real.

Every kid takes this information differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I learned that Santa wasn't real in 2nd grade. Some kids at school had mentioned it, but of course I didn't believe it because my parents said he was real & they didn't lie, right? Imagine my astonishment when I learned that in fact adults tell fibs too. I was truly upset about the lie part, not that Santa wasn't real.

Every kid takes this information differently.

Do you have kid(s)? What do you tell them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I learned that Santa wasn't real in 2nd grade. Some kids at school had mentioned it, but of course I didn't believe it because my parents said he was real & they didn't lie, right? Imagine my astonishment when I learned that in fact adults tell fibs too. I was truly upset about the lie part, not that Santa wasn't real.

Every kid takes this information differently.

Do you have kid(s)? What do you tell them?

I do. My oldest is 5. I just don't make a big deal about Santa either way and when she does ask questions I just say "Santa is magic, like Elsa" and "isn't it fun to get into the Christmas spirit." It seems to click with her that it is make-believe, but still fun...just like the princesses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I learned that Santa wasn't real in 2nd grade. Some kids at school had mentioned it, but of course I didn't believe it because my parents said he was real & they didn't lie, right? Imagine my astonishment when I learned that in fact adults tell fibs too. I was truly upset about the lie part, not that Santa wasn't real.

Every kid takes this information differently.

Do you have kid(s)? What do you tell them?

I do. My oldest is 5. I just don't make a big deal about Santa either way and when she does ask questions I just say "Santa is magic, like Elsa" and "isn't it fun to get into the Christmas spirit." It seems to click with her that it is make-believe, but still fun...just like the princesses.

I think if you're going to do Santa this is the best way of doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I learned that Santa wasn't real in 2nd grade. Some kids at school had mentioned it, but of course I didn't believe it because my parents said he was real & they didn't lie, right? Imagine my astonishment when I learned that in fact adults tell fibs too. I was truly upset about the lie part, not that Santa wasn't real.

Every kid takes this information differently.

Do you have kid(s)? What do you tell them?

I do. My oldest is 5. I just don't make a big deal about Santa either way and when she does ask questions I just say "Santa is magic, like Elsa" and "isn't it fun to get into the Christmas spirit." It seems to click with her that it is make-believe, but still fun...just like the princesses.

Yes! I told my 4 yo that it was a fun pretend game. When he goes back to school, I will emphasize playing along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS once told me he figured it out when he was 5, because the ONLY thing he wanted for xmas was to be able to fly, just for a day, and Santa did not come through.

Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. I would say the majority of kids have figured it out well before their parents tell them, but they go along with it because Christmas is so tied into Santa in their household, look at all the responses of people pushing their kids to believe for presents and make it clear they stop doing anything fun on Christmas once Santa days are over, of course, they are going to say they believe if they are told they aren't going o get presents and it's strongly implied Christmas will be miserable.

This 100%. Also I think kids frequently "know" these things without overthinking it like we adults do.

It's more that kids like to play, and interrupting their play by emphasizing it's just play ("No, no, Santa isn't real") can be disappointing. If my daughter hosts a "tea party" with her play set and her stuffed animals, it would seriously upset her if I came in and said, "this is all fake, you know Mr. Bear can't talk!" but not because she actually believes it.

I think it depends on the kid. At 4 yo, my daughter was unimpressed when Elsa made it snow in a Disney show because "of course, she just used her magic." Zero doubt. At 6 yo, she burst into tears when her Wild Kratts Halloween costume didn't turn her into an animal. She really believed it would. Even this year at 7 she had to try out her Hermione wand that came with her Halloween costume to see if it would work. She suspected it wasn't "real" but just had to double check. She has never doubted Santa, not for one second.

For ages I had my daughter convinced her wand worked the garage door. Got an extra opener that I kept in the door. It was fun! Also she doesn’t think I’m a liar because of it.

For a few weeks my 6 year old believed I had eyes in the back of my head because I could see what he was doing with my back turned. (Strategically placed myself by the window at dinner time). The jig was up when he asked if his father could do it too and we said no, just me, and he got very upset at the injustice that not everyone could have eyes in the back of their head. So we told him and he thought it was hilarious and spent the next week practicing on his little sister, and we still joke about it.