I’m SO flipping sick of my teenagers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don't need to go back to school they need a better parent.

F*** off. This is difficult for everyone.

+1000. The people flaming the OP are not going through this. Every parent of a teen wants them out of the house. It is unnatural and unhealthy for teens to spend 24 / 7 at home with parents. They need to get out of the damn house and be with friends and other adults. It’s destroying mental health on both sides of this. It’s been seven damn months. And the electronics / social media make it a thousand times worse.

Or tween! I feel this about my tween and yet, I am loving the time with my youngest (K). But the oldest.... I can't even look at her and I get "why you are looking at me? Stop looking at me!" I mean, wtf! Stomping, eye rolling, drama, crying... highly emotional. UGH UGH UGH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One day I was thinking “And this is why 18th century parents sent their teens off to apprentice with other people.” Throughout human history, no one has really wanted to spend this much time with their teenagers. Its unnatrual.

And yet we've created a generation that believes it's "natural" to have kids stay attached to their parents until well into their 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm loving having this time with my daughter. Normally senior year I wouldn't see her at all because she would be so busy. I am sad that she is missing all the fun things in her senior year but we are really pals now and it is one of the unexpected gifts of the pandemic for our family.

And I think this is a very selfish view of too many parents.

Nature does not intend for you and your HS senior to be "pals."

No one is saying this is normal but we have two choices: make the best of it or throw a tantrum over things we cannot control. We have chosen the former. I am teaching my daughter how to adapt and thrive despite the suboptimal circumstances. THAT’S normal. That’s healthy.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don't need to go back to school they need a better parent.

F*** off. This is difficult for everyone.

NP here. It is super easy for me. My teens are doing great and I am doing great. DL is working out fine. My kids don't have attitude because I have devoted a lot of time in raising them and have not outsourced their care to others. Only today I was thinking that except for the loss of meeting people in a social setting, the pandemic has turned out to be pretty good. We are able to effectively quarantine ourselves, eat good food, stay in comfort in our home and get along with each other.

I agree with others who have mentioned that the "pseudo"-parents who never spent time with their children are now finding them tedious.

Okay, OP here. I take offense to this. I have not outsourced anything. I’ve worked from home from almost five years, mommy tracking myself so I was home for the teen years. Yesterday was a hard day. I’m a good mom, my husband is involved, life goes on. Still I’m ready for them to get out of the house more, and back to a routine. That’s does make me a bad, uninvolved parent, or them bad teens. We just have bad days and need to get back to giving each other more space and kindness.

Read what you have written in your original post and the tone of your thread heading. No one thinks that being in a pandemic is good for anyone. Yet, many people, especially those who have not been impacted by the disease or economy or any environmental disasters or the civil unrest, are making do and being grateful. You on the other hand seem to be a hot mess.

Now you are claiming that everything at home is hunky dory and you were just venting? I don't think so. Try and be a better mom and a better wife. Pandemic is hard on everyone. You cannot change what is out of your control but you can absolutely impact the vibe in your own home. Control your behavior and have compassion for what the teens are going through. Make your home a source of comfort and solace to them by changing your response to stress. In other words, Grow the F up!

Omg you are insufferable. You've actually left me speechless.
-DP

Some people are just humorless. Part of venting in this fashion is hyperbole, exaggeration, etc. and not every word should be taken literally, which most people know. I think the PP might be socially awkward or on the spectrum.

And I think many of the posters who like to flame people for being bad parents are just MGTOW/red pill types who spend all their time online lamenting that women aren't maternal and subservient enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They need to go back to school. I’m tired of seeing them. I’m tired of having to debate things, I’m tired of text messages, I’m tired of attitudes, I’m tired of stomping up stairs, I’m just tired.

And I want my head back after it was bit off for asking a simple question.

I’m tired of feeling guilty for being sick of them.

You're not alone, OP. I fell the same way with tweens.
Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don't need to go back to school they need a better parent.

F*** off. This is difficult for everyone.

+1000. The people flaming the OP are not going through this. Every parent of a teen wants them out of the house. It is unnatural and unhealthy for teens to spend 24 / 7 at home with parents. They need to get out of the damn house and be with friends and other adults. It’s destroying mental health on both sides of this. It’s been seven damn months. And the electronics / social media make it a thousand times worse.

Or tween! I feel this about my tween and yet, I am loving the time with my youngest (K). But the oldest.... I can't even look at her and I get "why you are looking at me? Stop looking at me!" I mean, wtf! Stomping, eye rolling, drama, crying... highly emotional. UGH UGH UGH

Yes. Same here.
Oh, and before you accuse me of not parenting my own children, DC is an only, highly extraverted, used to be in a gazillion of activities and is in 6th grade at a magnet. She's been miserable without in-person school- and so have we.
Flame away, you happy and content parents! Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They need to go back to school. I’m tired of seeing them. I’m tired of having to debate things, I’m tired of text messages, I’m tired of attitudes, I’m tired of stomping up stairs, I’m just tired.

And I want my head back after it was bit off for asking a simple question.

I’m tired of feeling guilty for being sick of them.

Me too, OP, me too. One of mine is in hybrid school and those two days he leaves the house for the day are wonderful!

I feel guilty too at times, this is my last year with him before he’s off to college and I so wish things were different. Sigh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One day I was thinking “And this is why 18th century parents sent their teens off to apprentice with other people.” Throughout human history, no one has really wanted to spend this much time with their teenagers. Its unnatrual.

this is great

It is also true. Anyone who knows a thing about child development in the teen years knows this and should understand it.

And yet, no one can prove it with scientific citations.

You’re just blowing smoke out of your a**.

How about you Google “teenage developmental stages” and find one source that doesn’t talk about the very normal need for kids to establish social and emotional independence from their parents, or their very normal preference for friends/peers over their parents.

The burden of proof is on those who blow smoke out of their a**es.

No, laziass, it’s on you to educate yourself. Or do you not know how to do basic research before forming an opinion?

[Anonymous]

Functional families and marriages very quickly adapted to the challenges of this pandemic. Lots of dysfunctional families and marriages are struggling though.

Many people are terrible parents anyways and cannot handle parenting if childcare to some extent is not outsourced. Poor children. They didn't ask to be born. And not to these parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Functional families and marriages very quickly adapted to the challenges of this pandemic. Lots of dysfunctional families and marriages are struggling though.

Many people are terrible parents anyways and cannot handle parenting if childcare to some extent is not outsourced. Poor children. They didn't ask to be born. And not to these parents.

My family is doing just fine and I find this post really disturbing and off-the-mark. What a rigid, humorless person you must have to be to equate being exasperated by your teenagers with being a dysfunctional terrible parent. You’re really too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don't need to go back to school they need a better parent.

F*** off. This is difficult for everyone.

NP here. It is super easy for me. My teens are doing great and I am doing great. DL is working out fine. My kids don't have attitude because I have devoted a lot of time in raising them and have not outsourced their care to others. Only today I was thinking that except for the loss of meeting people in a social setting, the pandemic has turned out to be pretty good. We are able to effectively quarantine ourselves, eat good food, stay in comfort in our home and get along with each other.

I agree with others who have mentioned that the "pseudo"-parents who never spent time with their children are now finding them tedious.

NP here who is a SAHM and I've devoted a lot of time in raising them and there has never been any outsourcing.

The extreme cases of outsourcing aside, I don't think this can be pinned on how much one outsources childcare or not. I think a kid's temperament has much to do with how easy/hard it is to deal with the situation. Or any situation.

Thank you for sharing this. I also have two extremely different teens and the saying “A parent is only as happy as their least happy child” is so true.

I've got two kids, same gender, with very different personalities. One is sweet and easy and likes to help, etc. If I only had that one, I'd think my parenting made her that way. But then I have the extremely challenging one, which has challenged my hubris as well as my parenting skills. She keeps me humble. Because of the experience with both, I can see how raising kids can be a widely different experience in terms of enjoyment and satisfaction for the parent.

So, re covid specifically, add to that the differences in the housing situation and the yard situation, the ages of the kids, add in the spouse, and even the weather (are they all cooped up or not) and I find it hard to pin on any one factor like in-person parenting vs. outsourcing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Functional families and marriages very quickly adapted to the challenges of this pandemic. Lots of dysfunctional families and marriages are struggling though.

Many people are terrible parents anyways and cannot handle parenting if childcare to some extent is not outsourced. Poor children. They didn't ask to be born. And not to these parents.

This. It shouldn't be such a surprise to most people but apparently it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don't need to go back to school they need a better parent.

F*** off. This is difficult for everyone.

+1000. The people flaming the OP are not going through this. Every parent of a teen wants them out of the house. It is unnatural and unhealthy for teens to spend 24 / 7 at home with parents. They need to get out of the damn house and be with friends and other adults. It’s destroying mental health on both sides of this. It’s been seven damn months. And the electronics / social media make it a thousand times worse.

Or tween! I feel this about my tween and yet, I am loving the time with my youngest (K). But the oldest.... I can't even look at her and I get "why you are looking at me? Stop looking at me!" I mean, wtf! Stomping, eye rolling, drama, crying... highly emotional. UGH UGH UGH

Yes. Same here.
Oh, and before you accuse me of not parenting my own children, DC is an only, highly extraverted, used to be in a gazillion of activities and is in 6th grade at a magnet. She's been miserable without in-person school- and so have we.
Flame away, you happy and content parents! Ugh.

We have strong relationships with our kids and they continue. If your child is miserable, fix it and your relationship with them. Find things in common and spend some time doing them. Nothing in common, do what they want to do. You didn't spend much time with them and they aren't used to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Functional families and marriages very quickly adapted to the challenges of this pandemic. Lots of dysfunctional families and marriages are struggling though.

Many people are terrible parents anyways and cannot handle parenting if childcare to some extent is not outsourced. Poor children. They didn't ask to be born. And not to these parents.

This. It shouldn't be such a surprise to most people but apparently it is.

Functional families and happy marriages still have difficult days. It is quite impossible for life to be sunshine and rainbows every day, forever. So get over yourself and get real.

[Anonymous]

I would love to hear the kids’ points of view from all these sitcom families.