Why? |
Provide a reputable citation about how it is “not developmentally normal” for parents and teens to happily spend time together. |
| Treat them like a guest in your home who wants a lot of privacy. It works! |
Of course they can and should be able to happily spend some time together. But months and months of spending more time with parents than with friends or peers at a stage when they’re trying to develop a sense of self separate from their parents? If that’s working for you, then great, but stop trying to shame people who are having a tough time dealing with normal teen behavior that suddenly has no outlet. |
Where did I shame OP? It’s dumbo 10:40 who deserves to be called out for her quackery. |
NP here. It is super easy for me. My teens are doing great and I am doing great. DL is working out fine. My kids don't have attitude because I have devoted a lot of time in raising them and have not outsourced their care to others. Only today I was thinking that except for the loss of meeting people in a social setting, the pandemic has turned out to be pretty good. We are able to effectively quarantine ourselves, eat good food, stay in comfort in our home and get along with each other. I agree with others who have mentioned that the "pseudo"-parents who never spent time with their children are now finding them tedious. |
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There is some dysfuntion in your household then. In a functional household and family relationships - everyone can easily get along with each other, everyone can spend time alone too in their own private space, they can be productive household members, they can have autonomy to follow their interests and hobbies, they can easily meet their needs for their job or school at the same time they can meet their needs for self-care too. You should never be in a situation that you have had enough and wanted you kid and husband gone. |
Another DCUM-er who lives in La La Land. |
| I'm loving having this time with my daughter. Normally senior year I wouldn't see her at all because she would be so busy. I am sad that she is missing all the fun things in her senior year but we are really pals now and it is one of the unexpected gifts of the pandemic for our family. |
| Honest question for those w/ teens saying all is well/easy for them. Do your kids see their friends ever? I am assuming they must see a small bubble of friends to maintain their happiness, no? Personally I think I would have lost my mind and possibly had declining mental health if this had happened to me at 16/17 years old |
NP here who is a SAHM and I've devoted a lot of time in raising them and there has never been any outsourcing. The extreme cases of outsourcing aside, I don't think this can be pinned on how much one outsources childcare or not. I think a kid's temperament has much to do with how easy/hard it is to deal with the situation. Or any situation. I've got two kids, same gender, with very different personalities. One is sweet and easy and likes to help, etc. If I only had that one, I'd think my parenting made her that way. But then I have the extremely challenging one, which has challenged my hubris as well as my parenting skills. She keeps me humble. Because of the experience with both, I can see how raising kids can be a widely different experience in terms of enjoyment and satisfaction for the parent. So, re covid specifically, add to that the differences in the housing situation and the yard situation, the ages of the kids, add in the spouse, and even the weather (are they all cooped up or not) and I find it hard to pin on any one factor like in-person parenting vs. outsourcing. |
Hmm. I might try this, especially with my senior. (DP here.) |
+1. These are the most boring people in the universe, the ones who don't care that they can't see friends because they don't have many, or extended family because they don't get along. What is especially disturbing about it, however, is that they are trying to pretend that this is a "new normal" that we should all adjust to. Sorry, I'm not playing. |
Yes. Both of mine have their “pods” that the talk to daily and see probably twice a week. |