Should white women who marry "ethnic" men change their last names?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it bad form for a lily-white American woman who marries a man with an obviously Latino/Asian/Middle Eastern-sounding name to change to her husband's name or should she keep her own (anglo-American) surname? Of course some women today prefer keeping their maiden names anyway.

I don't know why, but something just rubs me as cultural appropriation or faking diversity when someone like Larla Jones gets married and becomes Larla Rodriguez, Larla Zhang, or Larla Al-Habib. It's like pretending not to be white.

Stop. You sound foolish.

[Anonymous]

My children have my name. My husband is welcome to change his name to ours.

[Anonymous]

It is not custom in the Middle East to take your husband's last name so rest easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No woman should change her name. What a silly outdated tradition.

So keep her father’s name and let her kids have her husband’s name? How progressive!

NP here. I was waiting for some simpleton to trot this one out. Why is her husband’s birth name considered his own, but a woman’s birth name is “her father’s”?

[Anonymous]

I am personally not a big fan of women changing their name when they get married, but holy crap people should do whatever the hell they feel is best for them. Such a weird thread.

[Anonymous]

Marry one of your own

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it bad form for a lily-white American woman who marries a man with an obviously Latino/Asian/Middle Eastern-sounding name to change to her husband's name or should she keep her own (anglo-American) surname? Of course some women today prefer keeping their maiden names anyway.

I don't know why, but something just rubs me as cultural appropriation or faking diversity when someone like Larla Jones gets married and becomes Larla Rodriguez, Larla Zhang, or Larla Al-Habib. It's like pretending not to be white.

This is such an obnoxious question. Not only is it not your business, you sound like a jerk. You don't understand cultural appropriation or, apparently, diversity. It is not bad form to change your name when you get married and every woman is entitled to make her own decision.

[Anonymous]

My husband told me he wold not respect me very much if i changed my name to his. I love my feminist guy. In grateful return, I gave my children his last name and my last name is their middle name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband told me he wold not respect me very much if i changed my name to his. I love my feminist guy. In grateful return, I gave my children his last name and my last name is their middle name.

This relationship doesn't sound as egalitarian as you think it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband told me he wold not respect me very much if i changed my name to his. I love my feminist guy. In grateful return, I gave my children his last name and my last name is their middle name.

Your feminist husband told you he wouldn't respect you if you made your own choice regarding your own name. Your feminist husband had nothing to say about the kids taking his surname, your last name as the middle name means nothing, as it rarely is used and frequently dropped all together. So much feminism!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am personally not a big fan of women changing their name when they get married, but holy crap people should do whatever the hell they feel is best for them. Such a weird thread.

Same but I always feel bummed when women subjugate themselves to men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not custom in the Middle East to take your husband's last name so rest easy.

But is it customary in MY family to take the husband’s name. This is why I have a European first name and AlArab last name. But you are correct, Arab women do not take the last name of the husband; they keep the last name of their father. Not so for most European cultures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband told me he wold not respect me very much if i changed my name to his. I love my feminist guy. In grateful return, I gave my children his last name and my last name is their middle name.

Your feminist husband told you he wouldn't respect you if you made your own choice regarding your own name. Your feminist husband had nothing to say about the kids taking his surname, your last name as the middle name means nothing, as it rarely is used and frequently dropped all together. So much feminism!

Wow. That is a very weak interpretation of what feminist means. Just wow. I’m not a feminist, I guess, because I took my husband’s last name. Something about being one family in all aspects as well as my traditional upbringing, I suppose, influenced me.

[Anonymous]

I'm a white woman who married a Japanese man and I'm so tired of the jokes about a small penis. Yes, it is smaller but we make do. I don't care that I'm missing out on the meat train because I got plenty in college and that's not what I want now.

[Anonymous]

1. Not your business.

2. In most of those "ethnic" cultures, it is not the norm or custom for women to take their husband's surname upon marriage. If a white woman was marrying from those cultures, this issue would most likely not come up.