Why are dating apps filled with MC or LMC guys?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here, late 30s, when women ask me to set them up with my single friends, I have none that fit your description except one that is recently divorced with a young kid. I know a couple male middle class guys, making low 100s that are catches but shy so you may need to be more aggressive when you are out. All the attractive, charismatic men your age are married or cheating (or both).

But there are some, and I agree - club sports (softball is a good one) alumni networks including game day get togethers, I liked the golf suggestion.

Also agree you should expand your criteria and look for mid-40s divorced men

95% of these are men that cheated and are narcissists so they will charm and willingly convince you that it was the wife that cheated or the wife did not want sex.

I would be VERY careful entering into any relationship with divorced men 40 and over. You will be the next victim. 75% of second marriages end in divorce.

+100

If you have never been married, a divorced guy has serious issues and/or a ton of baggage.

Who wants to start out life as a step-parent and dealing with an ex-wife (for the rest of your life?).

Answer: desperate women in their 30s whose bio-clocks are ticking.

OP is also divorced, so...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The UMC guys I know, particularly the older ones, would never dream of seriously dating someone from an app. They meet women through their circle of friends, their country club, and activities like golf. Sign up for golf lessons and join a club if you can.

Not true, know plenty of friends who have met someone on bumble

Met and married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UMC men don’t need dating apps. Simply existing and having money and a decently put together life on your mid 30s and beyond guarantees a solid success rate in relationships. Also most mid 30s UMC guys have no desire to date a woman in their 30s. You spend two years trying to figure out if this woman is worth marrying, another year getting a place together, marriage, and by the time you’re about ready to have a kid she’s 37 and needs fertility treatment. Also most divorced UMC guys don’t need or have the desire to date a divorced woman because the supply of never married 20s girls is too strong. I second other advice here that you need to be looking at late 40s. Divide their age by two and add seven. That very honestly is the age most men are looking for

And since that is what THEY want, she should line up accordingly.

This sounds like some archaic british drama on netflix.

We are not commodities that can be bought by the highest bidder before our sell by date has passed.

Yuck for this view of life and relationships.

(But I am sure that wealthy zip codes have plenty of trophy wives and SAHM's who still subscribe to it.)

Wow. You sound bitter and out of touch. You make not like the way PP wrote the part above but it’s pretty shortsighted not to realize that enough of the guys in the group she’s targeting that want kids will have realized atimeline similar to what’s above and it will affect her odds/success rate. The suggestions many here are making are well intentioned and much more useful at upping her chances than saying “yuck. Things shouldn’t be that way”

PP here. I wasn't trying to suggest she specifically is a commodity although I think that in the dating market to some extent we are all commodities. I don't think you understand how a market works. There are two parties to the transaction. Seller wants to sell me toilet paper for $20 per roll. No thanks, but if I'm desperate enough, not enough other TP options, maybe. The same is true in the dating market. OP may not want a 49 year old divorced man, but a 35 year old UMC man doesn't want her either. She's the one who posted she can't find a good UMC man, and I merely answered why that is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Thank you! I am a meet up participant. I am a member of several book clubs which are mostly women. What type of groups would cater to men?

The groups that have more men are the groups involve physical activities (e.g., running, biking, hiking, etc.). Cooking, wine/cocktail tasting, etc. can be the best since the ratio of men to women can be pretty good if you hit the right group at the right time.

Trivia can be good

[Anonymous]

You are setting high expectations on Tinder

[Anonymous]

You should start an organic quinoa farm.

It probably pays more than your current job and you can date your customers.

[Anonymous]

I am a member of several book clubs which are mostly women. What type of groups would cater to men?

I want to meet women. But I'd rather set myself on fire than read and discuss a romance novel. What a dilemma!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am not trying to be snobby but I have been on Tinder and OKC and most of my matches are....not college educated and/or blue collar. Some of them are hot and smart. But I am looking for a longterm match with a 30something UMC guy with a professional job.

Is it my profile? What is going on?

Are you UMC with a professional job?

Yes

You need to network at work. UMC generally meet st school or work... maybe neighbors. Do you live in a nice building of 30 professionals? Have a ‘block party’ in common room. Use building gym more (but $$$ gym works too). UMC on OKC and tinder are looking for hot 20 something for a fling, not 30 year with ticking clock.

Great idea. I work for an international development non profit so my colleagues are all women and gay men. :\

I also work for an international development non profit. Are women and gay men a thing? We have a disproportionate number of women at certain levels but not necessarily mid- to senior-level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried hanging out in the quinoa aisle at Whole Foods?

I can't!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The UMC guys already got married to the rest of us.

+1

So true.

And are miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The UMC guys already got married to the rest of us.

+1

So true.

And are miserable.

Unless they are banging other chicks on the side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried hanging out in the quinoa aisle at Whole Foods?

I can't!

ROFL But it makes a certain amount of sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another vote for club sports like softball. My best friend met her husband that way!

UMC guys aren’t playing softball.

[Anonymous]

OP, what do you look like? Are you a catch? Or are you one of those frumpy girls who put too much time into their masters degrees? Are you a workaholic?

Also, define UMC. Does age/race/height matter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The UMC guys already got married to the rest of us.

But are on Ashley madison now instead of tinder.