I HATE AUTISM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a child with autism and you're going around saying you hate autism, you're a bad parent. Plain and simple. Your job is to advocate and support your child. You should be working to make the world a more accommodating and supportive environment. Your child has enough struggles without his/her own parents spewing hateful words.

I hate neurotypicals!! They don't know how to follow a routine, insist on talking in codes rather than just saying what they mean, insist on variety just for the sake of it, and don't let me stim when that's a key way for me to emotionally regulate., etc. etc. That would be a really awful thing to say, right?

Don't use hate when it comes to your kids. Should be an easy rule.

What an illogical ninny you are.

This is horrible and frankly, PP, you are horrible for saying it.

If I have a child with cancer, am I not allowed to say that I hate cancer? Cancer is NOT my child, nor my child's identity.

Ahem. Obviously the correct thing to say is that you hate the SYMPTOMS of cancer, not cancer itself! Saying you hate cancer when your kid has cancer makes you a bad parent!

So we have learned today from the sanctimoniously offended moms using this post as a chance to pile on to a woman already having a tough time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This morning is a little better. I want schools to reopen.

My son is in counseling but just regular old therapy with someone who thinks he has autism - she’s the first person to raise the possibility of it with us, everyone else has just attributed his behavior issues to poor parenting, but interventions that work with typical kids do NOT work with my child. We’re working on getting an evaluation, but it’s hard because he’s a tween and the waitlists are long. Last week we had to call 911 because of a violent episode.

We have tried limiting video games and screens. God knows we’ve tried. It doesn’t work. We’ve tried everything. He’s incredibly rigid and has ONE preferred activity. Screens. Only screens. He will sometimes read, but I can’t afford new books every other day and he goes through them in a day or two.

He’s definitely got anxiety on top of the HFASD, but we don’t think it’s ODD or ADHD (though I wouldn’t be surprised if he got both an ASD and an ADHD diagnosis). I don’t think it’s OCD either, and neither does his counselor (or the team of people she works with - he’s rigid and repetitive, and becomes overstimulated easily and definitely has some sensory issues). It hasn’t been caught till now because he’s bright, and his school serves him very well. But now with expectations getting higher, after school activities taking up time, at least before corona, it’s clear there’s something going on and his executive functioning skills can’t keep up.

But we can’t get a diagnosis, despite the violence and difficulties, because the waitlists for evaluations are super long. So we can’t get any ASD specific help, and it’s going to take a LONG time to get it. It’s hell. And I hate autism. I hate parenting a kid with autism, I hate dealing with our shitty and broken medical system, I hate insurance companies, I hate everything about being cooped up and unable to go places.

I have two high functioning ASD children. The parenting journey started off miserable but my children are both very happy now and the family gets along wonderfully.

What changed? Our parenting. We learned not to be so rigid and meet them where they were and where they wanted to go.
You seem extremely inflexible and immature. Of course every library now has free ebooks that your son can check out. Schools also have subscriptions to multiple free ebook libraries but you're wailing that you can't afford books for him? Thats queer.

It sounds like you have executive functioning issues that you need to work on. You should start there. Remember ASD is inherited. The melt down tantrum that you're having on this message board "i hate it! I wish he was never born! I can't afford books! Is typical of a very immature person or someone with a disorder like ASD. Try working on yourself. Hopefully your therapist is able to get you to get over yourself so you can stop making your child miserable and parent him effectively.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This morning is a little better. I want schools to reopen.

My son is in counseling but just regular old therapy with someone who thinks he has autism - she’s the first person to raise the possibility of it with us, everyone else has just attributed his behavior issues to poor parenting, but interventions that work with typical kids do NOT work with my child. We’re working on getting an evaluation, but it’s hard because he’s a tween and the waitlists are long. Last week we had to call 911 because of a violent episode.

We have tried limiting video games and screens. God knows we’ve tried. It doesn’t work. We’ve tried everything. He’s incredibly rigid and has ONE preferred activity. Screens. Only screens. He will sometimes read, but I can’t afford new books every other day and he goes through them in a day or two.

He’s definitely got anxiety on top of the HFASD, but we don’t think it’s ODD or ADHD (though I wouldn’t be surprised if he got both an ASD and an ADHD diagnosis). I don’t think it’s OCD either, and neither does his counselor (or the team of people she works with - he’s rigid and repetitive, and becomes overstimulated easily and definitely has some sensory issues). It hasn’t been caught till now because he’s bright, and his school serves him very well. But now with expectations getting higher, after school activities taking up time, at least before corona, it’s clear there’s something going on and his executive functioning skills can’t keep up.

But we can’t get a diagnosis, despite the violence and difficulties, because the waitlists for evaluations are super long. So we can’t get any ASD specific help, and it’s going to take a LONG time to get it. It’s hell. And I hate autism. I hate parenting a kid with autism, I hate dealing with our shitty and broken medical system, I hate insurance companies, I hate everything about being cooped up and unable to go places.

I have two high functioning ASD children. The parenting journey started off miserable but my children are both very happy now and the family gets along wonderfully.

What changed? Our parenting. We learned not to be so rigid and meet them where they were and where they wanted to go.
You seem extremely inflexible and immature. Of course every library now has free ebooks that your son can check out. Schools also have subscriptions to multiple free ebook libraries but you're wailing that you can't afford books for him? Thats queer.

It sounds like you have executive functioning issues that you need to work on. You should start there. Remember ASD is inherited. The melt down tantrum that you're having on this message board "i hate it! I wish he was never born! I can't afford books! Is typical of a very immature person or someone with a disorder like ASD. Try working on yourself. Hopefully your therapist is able to get you to get over yourself so you can stop making your child miserable and parent him effectively.

Pot, kettle?

OP sounds stressed, upset, angry, and frightened. That's not immaturity, it's a human reaction to a very difficult situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Alright. Not welcome. Got it. I feel the way I feel, and I’ve been trying to get help for myself and my kid for YEARS. It’s been round and round and round and no one has EVER until now thought that my child’s issues were anything other than shitty parenting. Guess they’re all right. I still hate autism - my kid definitely has it but diagnosis takes FOREVER once you have a direction, and I hate that my kid has it. Why? Because parenting him is HELL and always has been. Why? BECAUSE NO ONE BELIEVES HE HAS ISSUES. Because they all think it’s “inconsistent parenting” or “because Mom isn’t married” or “because mom sucks at parenting”. I’ve been trying to get someone to listen to me about this kid FOR YEARS. Since he was 2 or 3. But no, I was you g when I had him so I’m a terrible mom.

I’ll find support somewhere else.

Do you parent as passive aggressively as you post on message boards? If so I would try being more direct with your child. See if that helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have a child with autism and you're going around saying you hate autism, you're a bad parent. Plain and simple. Your job is to advocate and support your child. You should be working to make the world a more accommodating and supportive environment. Your child has enough struggles without his/her own parents spewing hateful words.

I hate neurotypicals!! They don't know how to follow a routine, insist on talking in codes rather than just saying what they mean, insist on variety just for the sake of it, and don't let me stim when that's a key way for me to emotionally regulate., etc. etc. That would be a really awful thing to say, right?

Don't use hate when it comes to your kids. Should be an easy rule.

Pp.. you're my spirit animal! <3

The hypocrisy on this board is amazing
They hate their own children because the kids are inflexible.........But the problem is they themselves are so inflexible they can't figure out their own kids and how to deal with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a child with autism and you're going around saying you hate autism, you're a bad parent. Plain and simple. Your job is to advocate and support your child. You should be working to make the world a more accommodating and supportive environment. Your child has enough struggles without his/her own parents spewing hateful words.

I hate neurotypicals!! They don't know how to follow a routine, insist on talking in codes rather than just saying what they mean, insist on variety just for the sake of it, and don't let me stim when that's a key way for me to emotionally regulate., etc. etc. That would be a really awful thing to say, right?

Don't use hate when it comes to your kids. Should be an easy rule.

This is horrible and frankly, PP, you are horrible for saying it.

If I have a child with cancer, am I not allowed to say that I hate cancer? Cancer is NOT my child, nor my child's identity.

They are not comparable. Cancer is a disease. Autism is not. Autism is not something that needs to be cured.

Autism is a disorder that must be managed. It can't be cured, unfortunately.

Autism in NOT a disorder!!

Yes it is, it's a neurological and developmental disorder.

There is no biological or neurological mechanism ever found or demonstrated for the loose grab bag of symptoms we label as “autism”. It’s a way of classifying an ever changing list of symptoms, not any kind of defined neurological disorder.

Bipolar disorder must really get your goat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This morning is a little better. I want schools to reopen.

My son is in counseling but just regular old therapy with someone who thinks he has autism - she’s the first person to raise the possibility of it with us, everyone else has just attributed his behavior issues to poor parenting, but interventions that work with typical kids do NOT work with my child. We’re working on getting an evaluation, but it’s hard because he’s a tween and the waitlists are long. Last week we had to call 911 because of a violent episode.

We have tried limiting video games and screens. God knows we’ve tried. It doesn’t work. We’ve tried everything. He’s incredibly rigid and has ONE preferred activity. Screens. Only screens. He will sometimes read, but I can’t afford new books every other day and he goes through them in a day or two.

He’s definitely got anxiety on top of the HFASD, but we don’t think it’s ODD or ADHD (though I wouldn’t be surprised if he got both an ASD and an ADHD diagnosis). I don’t think it’s OCD either, and neither does his counselor (or the team of people she works with - he’s rigid and repetitive, and becomes overstimulated easily and definitely has some sensory issues). It hasn’t been caught till now because he’s bright, and his school serves him very well. But now with expectations getting higher, after school activities taking up time, at least before corona, it’s clear there’s something going on and his executive functioning skills can’t keep up.

But we can’t get a diagnosis, despite the violence and difficulties, because the waitlists for evaluations are super long. So we can’t get any ASD specific help, and it’s going to take a LONG time to get it. It’s hell. And I hate autism. I hate parenting a kid with autism, I hate dealing with our shitty and broken medical system, I hate insurance companies, I hate everything about being cooped up and unable to go places.

I have two high functioning ASD children. The parenting journey started off miserable but my children are both very happy now and the family gets along wonderfully.

What changed? Our parenting. We learned not to be so rigid and meet them where they were and where they wanted to go.
You seem extremely inflexible and immature. Of course every library now has free ebooks that your son can check out. Schools also have subscriptions to multiple free ebook libraries but you're wailing that you can't afford books for him? Thats queer.

It sounds like you have executive functioning issues that you need to work on. You should start there. Remember ASD is inherited. The melt down tantrum that you're having on this message board "i hate it! I wish he was never born! I can't afford books! Is typical of a very immature person or someone with a disorder like ASD. Try working on yourself. Hopefully your therapist is able to get you to get over yourself so you can stop making your child miserable and parent him effectively.

Pot, kettle?

OP sounds stressed, upset, angry, and frightened. That's not immaturity, it's a human reaction to a very difficult situation.

I'm not her mother. She is her son's mother.
See the difference?

[Anonymous]

I have two HFA elementary-age kids. I can’t bring myself to read this entire thread, or to have overwhelming sympathy for OP, since I find the all caps subject heading deeply offensive.

I definitely have my struggles with my kids. But overall they are growing into amazing, remarkable people, in large part because of their autism. I am sincerely valuing all of this time at home with them.

I will avoid speculating on OP’s situation, but her response certainly helps contribute to society’s misunderstanding and stigma of ASD. I hope for her son’s sake it’s not contributing to feelings of negative self-worth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two HFA elementary-age kids. I can’t bring myself to read this entire thread, or to have overwhelming sympathy for OP, since I find the all caps subject heading deeply offensive.

I definitely have my struggles with my kids. But overall they are growing into amazing, remarkable people, in large part because of their autism. I am sincerely valuing all of this time at home with them.

I will avoid speculating on OP’s situation, but her response certainly helps contribute to society’s misunderstanding and stigma of ASD. I hope for her son’s sake it’s not contributing to feelings of negative self-worth.

If this isn't the place for OP, if we posters cannot listen to her, then where? Only in the privacy of her own thoughts? I don't agree with that. And I don't think you should either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I hate autism too. I hate what it has done to my son and our family.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This morning is a little better. I want schools to reopen.

My son is in counseling but just regular old therapy with someone who thinks he has autism - she’s the first person to raise the possibility of it with us, everyone else has just attributed his behavior issues to poor parenting, but interventions that work with typical kids do NOT work with my child. We’re working on getting an evaluation, but it’s hard because he’s a tween and the waitlists are long. Last week we had to call 911 because of a violent episode.

We have tried limiting video games and screens. God knows we’ve tried. It doesn’t work. We’ve tried everything. He’s incredibly rigid and has ONE preferred activity. Screens. Only screens. He will sometimes read, but I can’t afford new books every other day and he goes through them in a day or two.

He’s definitely got anxiety on top of the HFASD, but we don’t think it’s ODD or ADHD (though I wouldn’t be surprised if he got both an ASD and an ADHD diagnosis). I don’t think it’s OCD either, and neither does his counselor (or the team of people she works with - he’s rigid and repetitive, and becomes overstimulated easily and definitely has some sensory issues). It hasn’t been caught till now because he’s bright, and his school serves him very well. But now with expectations getting higher, after school activities taking up time, at least before corona, it’s clear there’s something going on and his executive functioning skills can’t keep up.

But we can’t get a diagnosis, despite the violence and difficulties, because the waitlists for evaluations are super long. So we can’t get any ASD specific help, and it’s going to take a LONG time to get it. It’s hell. And I hate autism. I hate parenting a kid with autism, I hate dealing with our shitty and broken medical system, I hate insurance companies, I hate everything about being cooped up and unable to go places.

I have two high functioning ASD children. The parenting journey started off miserable but my children are both very happy now and the family gets along wonderfully.

What changed? Our parenting. We learned not to be so rigid and meet them where they were and where they wanted to go.
You seem extremely inflexible and immature. Of course every library now has free ebooks that your son can check out. Schools also have subscriptions to multiple free ebook libraries but you're wailing that you can't afford books for him? Thats queer.

It sounds like you have executive functioning issues that you need to work on. You should start there. Remember ASD is inherited. The melt down tantrum that you're having on this message board "i hate it! I wish he was never born! I can't afford books! Is typical of a very immature person or someone with a disorder like ASD. Try working on yourself. Hopefully your therapist is able to get you to get over yourself so you can stop making your child miserable and parent him effectively.

Pot, kettle?

OP sounds stressed, upset, angry, and frightened. That's not immaturity, it's a human reaction to a very difficult situation.

I'm not her mother. She is her son's mother.
See the difference?

And you are not in the middle of family crisis during a global pandemic. Might you have said some awkward things before you learned how to be a better parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This morning is a little better. I want schools to reopen.

My son is in counseling but just regular old therapy with someone who thinks he has autism - she’s the first person to raise the possibility of it with us, everyone else has just attributed his behavior issues to poor parenting, but interventions that work with typical kids do NOT work with my child. We’re working on getting an evaluation, but it’s hard because he’s a tween and the waitlists are long. Last week we had to call 911 because of a violent episode.

We have tried limiting video games and screens. God knows we’ve tried. It doesn’t work. We’ve tried everything. He’s incredibly rigid and has ONE preferred activity. Screens. Only screens. He will sometimes read, but I can’t afford new books every other day and he goes through them in a day or two.

He’s definitely got anxiety on top of the HFASD, but we don’t think it’s ODD or ADHD (though I wouldn’t be surprised if he got both an ASD and an ADHD diagnosis). I don’t think it’s OCD either, and neither does his counselor (or the team of people she works with - he’s rigid and repetitive, and becomes overstimulated easily and definitely has some sensory issues). It hasn’t been caught till now because he’s bright, and his school serves him very well. But now with expectations getting higher, after school activities taking up time, at least before corona, it’s clear there’s something going on and his executive functioning skills can’t keep up.

But we can’t get a diagnosis, despite the violence and difficulties, because the waitlists for evaluations are super long. So we can’t get any ASD specific help, and it’s going to take a LONG time to get it. It’s hell. And I hate autism. I hate parenting a kid with autism, I hate dealing with our shitty and broken medical system, I hate insurance companies, I hate everything about being cooped up and unable to go places.

I have two high functioning ASD children. The parenting journey started off miserable but my children are both very happy now and the family gets along wonderfully.

What changed? Our parenting. We learned not to be so rigid and meet them where they were and where they wanted to go.
You seem extremely inflexible and immature. Of course every library now has free ebooks that your son can check out. Schools also have subscriptions to multiple free ebook libraries but you're wailing that you can't afford books for him? Thats queer.

It sounds like you have executive functioning issues that you need to work on. You should start there. Remember ASD is inherited. The melt down tantrum that you're having on this message board "i hate it! I wish he was never born! I can't afford books! Is typical of a very immature person or someone with a disorder like ASD. Try working on yourself. Hopefully your therapist is able to get you to get over yourself so you can stop making your child miserable and parent him effectively.

Pot, kettle?

OP sounds stressed, upset, angry, and frightened. That's not immaturity, it's a human reaction to a very difficult situation.

I'm not her mother. She is her son's mother.
See the difference?

And you are not in the middle of family crisis during a global pandemic. Might you have said some awkward things before you learned how to be a better parent?

Right and its wonderful that she got to vent. Now on to actually helping with the problem.

[Anonymous]

NP.

Aaannnnd once again my son banged his head against a wall til he bled.

I hate autism too. I do not know what will become of him when he is 18 and on his own. Can someone please tell me about group homes?

[Anonymous]

I find that parents of higher functioning kids are the most thrown off by SN. They mourn their easy/non SN life. Those of us with kids who have profound needs let that ship sail tears ago.
I really wish we could divide SN parents into gen education & severe & profound. One group needs the resources & supourt they Are not getting... because they are potty training non verbal 8 year olds. And the other group takes the resources so they can go back to ‘normal’.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This morning is a little better. I want schools to reopen.

My son is in counseling but just regular old therapy with someone who thinks he has autism - she’s the first person to raise the possibility of it with us, everyone else has just attributed his behavior issues to poor parenting, but interventions that work with typical kids do NOT work with my child. We’re working on getting an evaluation, but it’s hard because he’s a tween and the waitlists are long. Last week we had to call 911 because of a violent episode.

We have tried limiting video games and screens. God knows we’ve tried. It doesn’t work. We’ve tried everything. He’s incredibly rigid and has ONE preferred activity. Screens. Only screens. He will sometimes read, but I can’t afford new books every other day and he goes through them in a day or two.

He’s definitely got anxiety on top of the HFASD, but we don’t think it’s ODD or ADHD (though I wouldn’t be surprised if he got both an ASD and an ADHD diagnosis). I don’t think it’s OCD either, and neither does his counselor (or the team of people she works with - he’s rigid and repetitive, and becomes overstimulated easily and definitely has some sensory issues). It hasn’t been caught till now because he’s bright, and his school serves him very well. But now with expectations getting higher, after school activities taking up time, at least before corona, it’s clear there’s something going on and his executive functioning skills can’t keep up.

But we can’t get a diagnosis, despite the violence and difficulties, because the waitlists for evaluations are super long. So we can’t get any ASD specific help, and it’s going to take a LONG time to get it. It’s hell. And I hate autism. I hate parenting a kid with autism, I hate dealing with our shitty and broken medical system, I hate insurance companies, I hate everything about being cooped up and unable to go places.

I have two high functioning ASD children. The parenting journey started off miserable but my children are both very happy now and the family gets along wonderfully.

What changed? Our parenting. We learned not to be so rigid and meet them where they were and where they wanted to go.
You seem extremely inflexible and immature. Of course every library now has free ebooks that your son can check out. Schools also have subscriptions to multiple free ebook libraries but you're wailing that you can't afford books for him? Thats queer.

It sounds like you have executive functioning issues that you need to work on. You should start there. Remember ASD is inherited. The melt down tantrum that you're having on this message board "i hate it! I wish he was never born! I can't afford books! Is typical of a very immature person or someone with a disorder like ASD. Try working on yourself. Hopefully your therapist is able to get you to get over yourself so you can stop making your child miserable and parent him effectively.

I agree. I'm extremely sympathetic to OP, but it sounds like she has autism herself. That's what is making the parenting difficult. This is a good time to just pause and focus on herself first, and the care she should get for herself. She can't help others if she's suffering herself.