Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP. Bringing this long dead thread back to life for an update.
My son does have ASD, and unspecified bipolar disorder.
2020/21 was hell for our family - 4 inpatient hospitalizations, court because of missed parenting time with the other parent (because kid was in the hospital - as soon as kid was sorta stable it was made up and then some), and in 2022 custody changed to dads house because the GAL wanted us to have full joint legal custody and that meant that I wouldn’t be able to consent to med changes without agreement of both parents - and dad is in denial about our child’s ASD/bipolar so doesn’t follow through with the necessary therapy recommendations, etc, and wants to wean him off meds soon.
Until we had an actual diagnosis in hand, every provider (including the hospitals) blamed my parenting. They said I didn’t have rules in place that were consistently enforced- when I responded that yes, I did, and I was tired of my child trying to push me down the stairs/punch holes in the walls/break doors when I enforced the rules, they didn’t believe me. Psychiatrists wouldn’t treat my child without a diagnosis (in part because “there are no problems reported at dads house” because dads house has always been the fun house where there are no rules and no chores and zero non-preferred activities).
It took hospitalizations to get my child on medication, which was then a game of whack-a-mole to figure out which ones helped, and what dose was right. Because my son is now 14, the teens years won’t help with that.
I still hate what ASD has done to my family. I still hate that parenting my child has been so awful. And on Mother’s Day weekend, I hate celebrating being a mother. I’m in therapy (which parents with ASD/bipolar kids aren’t? It’s necessary just for functioning), but it won’t make me happy about parenting. I am glad that my child is stable, doing better (sadly he still has no friends and that will probably remain a struggle his whole life) and that him living with his dad seems to be…acceptable for now. He won’t be coming back to live with me, so hopefully by the time dads family is worn out he’s ready to be independent.
I still hate divorce and childish fathers and what they do to families.
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