Bummed out that parents haven't offered to buy us anything for new baby

[Anonymous]

My MIL does not buy presents before the baby is born. Has known too many people with complications of some sort so now she doesn't want to risk it.

I found it weird that she wouldn't even buy for her grandchild, but she more than made up for it once he was born.

[Anonymous]

My MIL makes beautiful baby blankets. They are teuly works of art and patchwork’s by hand. But she never sends them hem until the child is at least 2. She gets distracted with other things she is doing and what do you know, the baby isn’t a baby after a while!

[Anonymous]

My parents (who have plenty of money) were really weird about this and were never very generous. For example, they live in Manhattan and would love to go see Broadway shows with us when we came to town, but they always expected us to pick up the tickets (for our family and them). They were retired and didn't even offer to get the tickets at the box office to save us the crazy telecharge fees. Then they would complain about how the IRS was making them take a mandatory minimum amount out of their 401K, which they didn't need.

[Anonymous]

1) Your parents aren't responsible for giving you money to raise your child.
2) YOU are not pregnant. Your wife is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DW and I are pregnant with our first child due in August. This is the first grandchild for my parents, and second for my in-laws. ILs have said that they will buy us a few big ticket items (crib, changing table), in addition to some smaller items, as they did the same when my SIL had her baby. However, my parents have yet to say if they're buying us anything for the baby. Finances aren't an issue; my Mom is a school administrator, and my Dad is retired from big law, and still does occasional contract work. In fact, my Dad's pension vested last year, and my Mom comments "We don't know what to do with all this money!" Additionally, they live a pretty spartan lifestyle, as they hardly ever travel, keep the same car for 10+ years, etc. 

The reason this came to a head was today, as I was talking with my Mom, she had mentioned that they're saving a ton of money by not commuting and putting wear and tear on their cars. I said, "yeah, same with us, but all that money is going to go straight to baby stuff." To which she replied, "good."

While I certainly don't expect them to come forward with a big ticket item like a crib or stroller, but it would be nice to feel like they could contribute something to their first grandchild. The subject of money has always been a bit awkward around my parents, as they feel, for better or worse, that once a child is on their own, they don't need any financial assistance. IL's feel differently, which is probably where my jealously is stemming from. For what it's worth, finances aren't an issue with DW and myself, but there was a time when they were much tighter due to a variety of circumstances, and my parents were well aware of that, but didn't offer to help, so perhaps I'm dealing with some unresolved feelings from that. 

I totally understand your feelings. I do not consider myself entitled as some suggested. If they have so much money, why wouldn’t they help with a nice present?

You're insanely entitled -- anyone who counts someone else's money is.

And how do you know they aren't going to buy any gift? The baby isn't going to be here for months. Maybe they are planning to buy something when you have a shower. Or after the baby is born. You're upset because they haven't told you what they are going to buy (which you will certainly compare with what the in-laws are buying), not because they have not, in fact, bought anything. People are crazy, is all I can say.

[Anonymous]

My parents didn’t purchase anything for our first baby, but gave us a LARGE check when they came to visit after the baby was born. Thankfully I didn’t think anything of the lack of gifts bc I’m not an asshole.

[Anonymous]

I get it. You want your parents to behave the way the in-laws are. You want them to promise a large-ticket item. You want to feel on the same page with your wife and her family.
It stinks. I would suggest asking for an item directly and not being secretive.
"We love this glider. Would you consider this as our gift?" Be straightforward!! The worst they say is ... no. Then you have your answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2. "WE" are not pregnant.unless it's two women."
2. It is your kid and your parents have zero responsibility to buy you even a safety pin for your kid. If you can't afford the big items you want, do without!

Apparently, you cannot afford a child.

NP. I hope you don't fall off your high horse, PP. You might break something on the landing.

When I was pregnant, I always referred to the event as "we" are pregnant. My husband had a huge role in the event and I couldn't have done it without him. Just like now when I refer to the kids I talk about "our" kids and not "my" kid.

We are expecting. I am pregnant.

This. It's not rocket science Pregnant means "having a child or young developing in the uterus." If you don't have a baby in your uterus YOU ARE NOT PREGNANT.