Bummed out that parents haven't offered to buy us anything for new baby

[Anonymous]

You are insufferable, and YOU are not pregnant. Your wife is pregnant. Please treat her accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The subject of money has always been a bit awkward around my parents, as they feel, for better or worse, that once a child is on their own, they don't need any financial assistance. IL's feel differently, which is probably where my jealously is stemming from. For what it's worth, finances aren't an issue with DW and myself, but there was a time when they were much tighter due to a variety of circumstances, and my parents were well aware of that, but didn't offer to help, so perhaps I'm dealing with some unresolved feelings from that. 

I understand that this feeling arose in part because of the comparison to the generosity of your in-laws. But your parents are following their previous pattern, and the rational thing is to find a way to expect that this will continue, forever. Your in-laws might pay into 529s, and then you should assume your parents...will not. Your in-laws might offer to pay for lovely birthday presents, and summer camps, and trips, and then you should assume your parents...will not. If your parents change their pattern in any way, you can be happy. But shield yourself from disappointment by expecting nothing from them financially.

With two sets of grandparents who already have one major difference in the realm of financial generosity, you should also be prepared to see differences between the sets of grandparents in other realms, as well. One set might visit too much, or too little. One set might be too involved when they spend times with your child, or too little involved. Etc. Again, expect nothing (or very little), and then celebrate the ways in which their grandparenting is a good thing for your child.

Well said and a great post for you to keep in mind, OP! I especially like the last line.

[Anonymous]

This is ridiculous. Just ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2. "WE" are not pregnant.unless it's two women."
2. It is your kid and your parents have zero responsibility to buy you even a safety pin for your kid. If you can't afford the big items you want, do without!

Apparently, you cannot afford a child.

NP. I hope you don't fall off your high horse, PP. You might break something on the landing.

When I was pregnant, I always referred to the event as "we" are pregnant. My husband had a huge role in the event and I couldn't have done it without him. Just like now when I refer to the kids I talk about "our" kids and not "my" kid.

[Anonymous]

Did they explicitly say they weren’t buying you anything?

[Anonymous]

Maybe your feelings are about wanting your parents to show excitement in some way about the new baby? Not so much about money or gifts?

[Anonymous]

OP, gently, none of the items you have listed are "big ticket items." They are one-time purchases. The big tickets are child care and education.

I say this not to nitpick, but to say that it sounds like you do have a focus on physical nursery items that is really not founded in logic. Think hard about why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, gently, none of the items you have listed are "big ticket items." They are one-time purchases. The big tickets are child care and education.

I say this not to nitpick, but to say that it sounds like you do have a focus on physical nursery items that is really not founded in logic. Think hard about why.

What? Everyone knows big ticket items mean things like strollers, cribs, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you consider yourself an adult? This isn’t their responsibility.

You are either troll or the most entitled person ever.

yes this. I am laughing at the OP just laughing.

welcome to adulthood kiddo and I really hope you're ready to bring a human into the world!

[Anonymous]

OP I totally understand what you are saying and I am in somewhat a similar yet different situation. My parents are extremely generous... I inherited a lot of real estate from them when I turned 25 and they still buy a lot for my kids. My in-laws are different. They are much poorer and they need us to give them money every month... this bothers me of course, but nothing I can do for now... the difference is also that my parents spend very little for themselves and try to give my brother and I everything. My MIL on the other hand has no money, but manages to go to the hair dresser and manicurist all the time...
That said, what do you want from this board? You know that people here will tell you that you are an adult and you are not owed anything... so I just don’t get your post

[Anonymous]

Stop being so damn entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The baby is due in August. It's April. Give them some time to get you a gift. Sheesh. Probably will happen when you have a baby shower??

Good grief.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good lord. It's APRIL. you are only 5 months along. There is PLENTY of time for them to give you a gift.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2. "WE" are not pregnant.unless it's two women."
2. It is your kid and your parents have zero responsibility to buy you even a safety pin for your kid. If you can't afford the big items you want, do without!

Apparently, you cannot afford a child.

NP. I hope you don't fall off your high horse, PP. You might break something on the landing.

When I was pregnant, I always referred to the event as "we" are pregnant. My husband had a huge role in the event and I couldn't have done it without him. Just like now when I refer to the kids I talk about "our" kids and not "my" kid.

Np. You were the only one pregnant though!

[Anonymous]

Dude, my parents got us a GERBER brand set of 3 onesies and a set of 3 jammies. It was like, $16.99 in total from Amazon. They have millions of dollars. We have a quite good HHI but seriously, I'm like, could you please just NOT send ANYTHING instead? It's like, "happy new baby, here's a MCdonald's happy meal for you!" Some people are just not good people.