My children are the worst coworkers that I have ever had

[Anonymous]

My coworker keeps asking to review her work every 30 seconds. I have my own work to do lady!

[Anonymous]

My three co-workers refuse to follow the 6 foot social distancing rule as the 2 YO seems to want to climb back into my womb. Instead of putting their noses to the grindstone there is now a huge pile of dress ups on the floor. My four weeks of office snack inventory is now down to about a week and orange Cheeto's finger prints are all over the couch. We've only been at this for a week and I'm thinking about requesting they get transferred to another office (Nana's!) or selling them on Ebay. But there isn't much I can really do because I hired them thus "I have to accept responsibility for their performance." Sometimes being management really sucks!

[Anonymous]

Mine requires a bum wipe while I’m on conference calls.

[Anonymous]

My coworker has a serious disagreement with management about the afternoon nap mandate.

[Anonymous]

My new co-worker is kinda an a$$hole. He won’t let me sing to the Frozen and Frozen2 songs while he gets to sing as much as he wants.
#MamaCanSingAlongToo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine requires a bum wipe while I’m on conference calls.

Must be an accountant. They are all like that.

[Anonymous]

Mine is learning to beatbox in his cubicle. I keep hearing about boots and cats and watching spit fly everywhere.

[Anonymous]

My coworker expects fun team building activities (with prizes) every day. The ‘themes’ are announced at the end of the previous day of course. In response to queries about where I will find supplies for said activities, my coworker expresses blind trust in my abilities.

As a good worker bee I agreed to set up an Easter egg hunt for today, but declined to repeat the event tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

My coworker told me poopy jokes non-stop when I was trying to work. He did not use an inside voice. Also insisted that I watch him pee in a toilet because this is new for him. The horror!

[Anonymous]

My coworker keeps telling my other coworker to 'get psyched in the face.'

The other coworker keeps telling the offending coworker to 'go jump in a landfill'.

Times are a-changing folks. Office etiquette is nothing like it used to be.

[Anonymous]

My youngest coworker has refused to take her assigned break period and is instead treating me as a jungle gym. I've locked myself in the bathroom to escape.

[Anonymous]

My coworkers would watch youtube all day if I didn't peer over their shoulders and get them back on task.

[Anonymous]

I have convinced my coworkers that I can see everything on their screen at any given moment. The honesty is frightful.

[Anonymous]

my littlest coworker ran up while I was on a conference call the other day--we're pretty lax about this and lots of people have other "coworkers" appearing on calls. I thought she was leaning in to give me a hug. Then she pulled up my shirt and did a huge prolonged raspberry/farting noise on my tummy. Awesome.

[Anonymous]

I so relate!

My youngest (2.5) ran up while I was on a conference call yesterday - answering a long question, so not muted - and yelled "Mommy FARTS" about 3 or 4 times in a row. (I'm pretty sure an older brother instigated this...)

I have no idea if my boss, and my boss' boss, who were on the call along with a couple coworkers, could hear/understand. But I'm so glad it was phone-only and not video so they couldn't see my face.