Found out FIL paid off grandson’s student loans/zero help for my kids

[Anonymous]

Mental health, people.

This is what it boils down to.

Just be thankful if you’re successful and reasonably healthy. So many people are not.

[Anonymous]

The grandson that FIL “helped” dropped out of college? Will your kids be dropping out or are they prepared and equipped to leave with a degree?
Don’t be jealous when those who do require assistance receive some. It doesn’t sound like it was the ideal assistance (no lasting benefit to the Grandson really), just protecting the status quo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He paid off thousands of dollars of loans for grandson who dropped out of college after one semester but owed a lot of money. FIL was co-signor on loan bc son had bad credit. FIL has not offered to pay for my kid’s educations. We can afford it but it seems unfair that my kids get a $20 bill for birthday and Christmas, but nothing substantial like college tuition (and other big expenses). My kids have worked hard to earn substantial scholarships and wouldn’t require much assistance. It seems the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Oh man, you are a piece of work! Unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read the parable about the prodigal son

Alternatively, look at the story of Jacob giving Joseph a special coat and his brothers selling him into slavery. The lesson that Judaism derives from this is that it's forbidden to favor one child over another because it leads to jealousy and resentment. As it has here. OP's feelings are normal.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like nephew may come from a more troubled home than yours. Some of the favouritism may come out of trying to protect him, or give him some more semblance of support and normalcy. You’re looking at it about what your children didn’t get, and maybe you should frame it about what your children already have. Your children have work ethic, financial stability, and financial literacy. This kid doesn’t have that from his family, and it’s something that will follow him his whole adult life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He paid off thousands of dollars of loans for grandson who dropped out of college after one semester but owed a lot of money. FIL was co-signor on loan bc son had bad credit. FIL has not offered to pay for my kid’s educations. We can afford it but it seems unfair that my kids get a $20 bill for birthday and Christmas, but nothing substantial like college tuition (and other big expenses). My kids have worked hard to earn substantial scholarships and wouldn’t require much assistance. It seems the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Do you really not understand this? He was on the hook for the loan. So he paid it off. Ugh, you sound super entitled and dramatic. Give it a rest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op do you understand a co-signer's responsibility?

I understand the FIL getting right with the bank, but shouldn't the kid make some effort to him back as opposed to "walking"? I wonder if there's an understanding btw FIL and granson?

MYOB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read the parable about the prodigal son

Alternatively, look at the story of Jacob giving Joseph a special coat and his brothers selling him into slavery. The lesson that Judaism derives from this is that it's forbidden to favor one child over another because it leads to jealousy and resentment. As it has here. OP's feelings are normal.

As much as OP is making it sound like it’s favoring the sibling, it’s actually correcting the sins of the sibling to try to help the child. Which is what makes OP’s whining so appalling.

[Anonymous]

He co-signed it. That's his mistake.
He did you a favor by not spoiling your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um. He paid it off to protect his credit.

He also paid off the subsidized loans that were only in student’s name.

Ok, let's say that that's true. It's still NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. It's his money, not yours.

This. Why do you care OP? He isn’t obligated to pay for any or all grandchildren’s loans. It really doesn’t matter and it isn’t any of your concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He paid off thousands of dollars of loans for grandson who dropped out of college after one semester but owed a lot of money. FIL was co-signor on loan bc son had bad credit. FIL has not offered to pay for my kid’s educations. We can afford it but it seems unfair that my kids get a $20 bill for birthday and Christmas, but nothing substantial like college tuition (and other big expenses). My kids have worked hard to earn substantial scholarships and wouldn’t require much assistance. It seems the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Do you really not understand this? He was on the hook for the loan. So he paid it off. Ugh, you sound super entitled and dramatic. Give it a rest.

Yeah. This, dummy bunny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP what you should be posting is "No good deed goes unpunished. My FIL was nice enough to co-sign for his grandson, and now he's stuck with the bill and the grandson is an ingrate."

Why do so so so many DCUMers hate their in laws???

I agree..

OP, you sound so jealous.

So what if he is? The dropout gets financial help and the kids that stayed in school didn't? I'd be jealous too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um. He paid it off to protect his credit.

He also paid off the subsidized loans that were only in student’s name.

Ok, let's say that that's true. It's still NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. It's his money, not yours.

This. Why do you care OP? He isn’t obligated to pay for any or all grandchildren’s loans. It really doesn’t matter and it isn’t any of your concern.

He didn't say he was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um. He paid it off to protect his credit.

He also paid off the subsidized loans that were only in student’s name.

Ok, let's say that that's true. It's still NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. It's his money, not yours.

This. Why do you care OP? He isn’t obligated to pay for any or all grandchildren’s loans. It really doesn’t matter and it isn’t any of your concern.

He didn't say he was.

Um...that is what OPs complaint is. One grandchild is getting help with loans from grandfather and OP’s isn’t

[Anonymous]

OP, ask for FIL to cosign your kids loans if you want. If he says no it's because he's been burned once. Get it?