Found out FIL paid off grandson’s student loans/zero help for my kids

[Anonymous]

You sound petty

[Anonymous]

Forget it. My parents are like that.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get this.

Some people need more help, they get more help.

You think everybody should get = amount of $?

[Anonymous]

Um. He paid it off to protect his credit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get this.

Some people need more help, they get more help.

You think everybody should get = amount of $?

NP, and yes, that’s exactly what I think. Some people need more “help” because they’re lazy. Why reward the people that choose not to work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those were his loans also. He probably learned his lesson and won't be co-signing anything.

My SIL warned him about this very situation at the time he co-signed and she also asked if you’re helping him, are you going to help my kids? He said no.

What is wrong with you OP? At the time he co-signed all he thought was that he was lending a signature. Not real money. GTFU.

[Anonymous]

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um. He paid it off to protect his credit.

He also paid off the subsidized loans that were only in student’s name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um. He paid it off to protect his credit.

He also paid off the subsidized loans that were only in student’s name.

Ok, let's say that that's true. It's still NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. It's his money, not yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get this.

Some people need more help, they get more help.

You think everybody should get = amount of $?

NP, and yes, that’s exactly what I think. Some people need more “help” because they’re lazy. Why reward the people that choose not to work?

yes you're only successful because you work harder. Not!

[Anonymous]

Op, I understand. My cousin had his very expensive tuition ($60k/year in the 1990s) paid for by my grandfather and my uncle (cousin’s uncle) sent him money every month because b he had no spending money. Cousin never worked summer jobs and now doesn’t even do anything in the field he has his very expensive oboe degree, yep a damm oboe! $250k down the drain. He works as a delivery manager for a pot dispenser in San Fran. Us 3 grandkids received $25 on our birthday and $15 for Christmas from the tuition paying grandfather. I hold no ill will toward my grandfather, he was an incredible guy who had so much love for us, it just made me scratch my head as to why we weren’t treated financially equal. The tuition for my siblings and I combined was around $30K a year at that time. Sometimes life gives us lessons that illustrate isn’t fair and luckily my parents worked their butts off to get 3 kids through college.

[Anonymous]

You know what? My extended family thought I dropped out of college after one semester. The truth is, I was failing every single class aside from gym. I had many severe undiagnosed learning disabilities and was completely lost. It turned out my dorm floor was a hard partying floor while I didn't drink, so I wasn't really making friends.

I moved back home and then got VERY sick for an entire year. To people who didn't know me well, they thought I dropped out of school and then screwed around doing nothing for a year. They didn't know that I was on strong medications and getting physical therapy three times a week to re-learn how to walk.

You just may not know everything going on, OP. Get some grace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know what? My extended family thought I dropped out of college after one semester. The truth is, I was failing every single class aside from gym. I had many severe undiagnosed learning disabilities and was completely lost. It turned out my dorm floor was a hard partying floor while I didn't drink, so I wasn't really making friends.

I moved back home and then got VERY sick for an entire year. To people who didn't know me well, they thought I dropped out of school and then screwed around doing nothing for a year. They didn't know that I was on strong medications and getting physical therapy three times a week to re-learn how to walk.

You just may not know everything going on, OP. Get some grace.

Good point. My MIL has always supported her oldest grandchild (not my kids). Extended family does not know this, but he was clinically suicidal, and is now depressed, has a sleep disorder and anxiety. He dropped out of many things that he started. I don't begrudge him one iota of the moral and financial support he receives and that my kids do not receive. My kids do not have his challenges.

OP, even if you believe the nephew to be just lazy, incompetent and ungrateful, I can tell you that those people usually also have issues, undiagnosed or not. Stop being so jealous when you might not know everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He paid off thousands of dollars of loans for grandson who dropped out of college after one semester but owed a lot of money. FIL was co-signor on loan bc son had bad credit. FIL has not offered to pay for my kid’s educations. We can afford it but it seems unfair that my kids get a $20 bill for birthday and Christmas, but nothing substantial like college tuition (and other big expenses). My kids have worked hard to earn substantial scholarships and wouldn’t require much assistance. It seems the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

On the bright side your kids are doing well in college and the cousin is not. Your FIL probably thinks they are capable of standing on their own feet. I’d rather have your kids than the dropout.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP what you should be posting is "No good deed goes unpunished. My FIL was nice enough to co-sign for his grandson, and now he's stuck with the bill and the grandson is an ingrate."

This is how I take it as well. Perhaps there is an understanding that the son or grandson will pay the money back. It sounds like FIL was put in a position, used and won't let that happen again. I don't blame him.