What grade would you give your parents and what’s the worst things they did

[Anonymous]

A+. Supportive, around, but hands off in the right ways. They are both kind and hardworking, and are the hub of our family still. My dad is a saint, my mom is hilarious. My sibs and I are so so lucky and we know it. If I can do 70% as good a job as they did, my own kids will be in good shape.

[Anonymous]

A all the way. Like some of the other PPs, my siblings and I know we were lucky, lucky, lucky. Our parents were warm and caring. We felt safe and loved. We had so much fun. They taught us to be kind, considerate, generous. They are very involved with their grandchildren but not interfering. We love to see them as much as we can. I honestly can't say enough about them. The only negative about my parents is that they are both worriers. As adults, we recognize it, but when we were kids, they hid it from us well.

[Anonymous]

Mom, B+
Dad, C as a kid, F now

Mom busted her butt all through my childhood to give us a good life. She went to college while working nights. We didn’t have a lot, but we were never hungry or (too) cold. She moved us close to grandparents for support. She yelled a lot and was really controlling at times, but never abusive. She could have used some Xanax. Later in life she remarried, was able to have a career, be somewhat financially stable, enjoy some luxuries. She helped us buy our house and loved my DS more than life. I didn’t have health insurance until 27, but she made sure we went to the doctor and dentist. I was left with debt rather than an inheritance when my mom died. But I feel like she did her best.

Dad was around mostly, though he traveled with bands so his presence was inconsistent. He was good natured but not much of a leader or mentor. He has been 90% checked out of my life since my parents divorced when I was in high school. 100% checked out since his 2nd wife died and he met a new woman. He occasionally calls to ask for money. We haven’t spoken in a year. He hasn’t met my kid, despite living only 40 miles away. I’ve recently learned a lot of new info. that has made me reevaluate him and our future.

[Anonymous]

"Also, remember, if you were born in the 1960's it was before Roe v. Wade so a lot of people probably ended up with kids and husbands, unlike our generatin where at least we're allowed to choose. I would imagine have a wanted marriage and wanted children probably makes a lot of things better."

This is a good point, as is the one another PP mentioned about being born in the 30s, and something I've assumed is one reason behind some stark family differences between my husband and his HS friend cohort (born 1970), and mine (1977). Both cohorts were raised mostly professional class in MoCo and share at least many demographic similarities.

But the parents of his cohort were almost all Silent Generation, and more than half had 3-4+ kids, I assume in part because they had almost all started their families pre-Roe/pre-Pill, etc. (No more of them than mine were Catholic/etc., either.)

Really a contrast between those family dynamics and those of my cohort, where parents were Boomers, more than 2 kids was uncommon, there was a decent chunk of only children, and having more than 3 kids was pretty darned rare. Different values to some extent, different opportunities, different experiences of war and history and politics, different career trajectories for women (on average), etc.

[Anonymous]

I'd give them a B. Two high school graduates from poverty, but raised us to be polite, do well in school, no drugs, no teenage pregnancies.... we had good health care, stable home, we were loved, fed, they were kind and generous. BUT

Dad cheated and made all of our lives hell because of it starting when I was about ten.
Parents did not get me any help for my obvious neuroses which were quite tormenting.
Mom now blows us off and is basically very selfish; anty relationship is all on me to maintain.