SAHM who can’t seem to be consistent or get it together

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Set some ground rules. For me--I don't allow leggings as pants. This goes for workout clothes. If I know I am leaving the house at some point, I put on jeans. Jeans mean I need to put on a presentable top, etc. etc. That's how I got out of the rut last year. This year, I set a new ground rule that I was not going to resort to uggs unless I am going somewhere (and only there!) where I take my shoes off (gymnastics class with toddler). I also make an effort to put on jewelry now that my kid is old enough not to rip it off me.

Great advice! This is what I do myself.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read other posters but do things one at a time.

Easiest - go get your hair and eyebrows done, ask for easy maintenance/wash and go hair, and get balayage if you color so you can go longer between appointments
Next - go to Blue Mercury and ask them to help you with a beauty and makeup routine that takes no more than 15 minutes total
Then - get to Nordstrom and use a free personal stylist to pull together 3-5 casual outfits for you. Tell her you want a "uniform" or a "capsule wardrobe" such that you can pull any two things out of your closet and it will always make an outfit that matches. Do this once a season.

[Anonymous]

Even if parts of your day is unstructured as a SAHM, you have to create a routine for yourself. This is essential. Many people with ADD are unable to cope with being at home, but are reasonably ok WOH because of the structure of the work day.

SAHMs have to create their own Work Day and you should not deviate from that if you can help it.

Getting up early to exercise is something that should be embraced. If it tires you out, take a mid-day nap. Take a shower, make your bed, start the laundry. Aim to get the daily chores - cleaning, cooking, laundry, groceries etc done by noon.

[Anonymous]

What should a middle age woman (and SAHM for now) wear at 2 pm going into the grocery store? Body constraints are: short, 38H boobs so most shirts don’t look good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what was your life like before kids? I know a lot of SAHMs who became SAHMs due at least in part to undiagnosed ADHD that made the work/kid juggle a complete nonstarter.

This was me. Medicating first ADHD and putting systems in place has me feeling like myself again. Totally life changing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a good post. Although I always Worked out of home, I find some of the things some of the posters mentioned about ADD in women might have applied to me. It might have been helpful to have known when my kids were still young and I was trying to manage all.

Is it still helpful in anyway to be diagnosed as ADD as an adult? Aren’t habits formed by this time and so does it change anything?

Same here. My kids are still young and definitely struggling to balance it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What should a middle age woman (and SAHM for now) wear at 2 pm going into the grocery store? Body constraints are: short, 38H boobs so most shirts don’t look good.

I wear a lot of dresses with sandals in warm weather. In cold, usually a combination of jeans/long sleeve tee/long cardigan/scarf plus booties or ballet flats.

[Anonymous]

I mean, the easiest thing to do is just be thin.

Slender people can look good going around in workout clothes all day rather than frumpy.

Other advice: always wear light makeup, make sure to get your roots done regularly if they are coming in gray.

Spend money on good shoes, coats, and bags.

[Anonymous]

You know what makes so many women look frumpy? Pet hair on their clothes. Get a lint roller.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t read all of the responses, so apologies if this is a duplication.

Someone on DCUM recommended this blogger/instagrammer and I have been following her ever since. She provides advice on capsule wardrobes and gives different “look” options depending on age. She always looks put together, even in workout clothes (obviously that’s her job, but still). I find that even if I’m not buying the things in her posts, I’m inspired to put a little more effort into my appearance just by seeing her on IG every day. It helps that she has a pleasant personality.

Even if she’s not your cup of tea, maybe you could find someone similar to follow who can provide some inspiration on a regular basis.

https://thestylescribe.com/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, the easiest thing to do is just be thin.

Slender people can look good going around in workout clothes all day rather than frumpy.

Other advice: always wear light makeup, make sure to get your roots done regularly if they are coming in gray.

Spend money on good shoes, coats, and bags.

This is solid advice. The extra 30-40 lbs I usually carry is the main reason I look like a frumpy nonna instead of a milf despite my great shoes, purse and skin.

[Anonymous]

And yes. But thin and fit. Everything will look good in you

[Anonymous]

Op here. I appreciate each and every one of you who have taken time to respond. Happy New Year!