SAHM who can’t seem to be consistent or get it together

[Anonymous]

Since having kids I’ve just lost myself. I am lazy, inconsistent and jealous of those that look like they have it together. I need to take baby steps to do better, but I don’t think I really know where to begin. I’ll take any helpful advice to help me get it together. I want to look more polished and put together. I need to organize my life as well. I seem to start well but NEVER finish.

[Anonymous]

How old are your children?

[Anonymous]

Set some ground rules. For me--I don't allow leggings as pants. This goes for workout clothes. If I know I am leaving the house at some point, I put on jeans. Jeans mean I need to put on a presentable top, etc. etc. That's how I got out of the rut last year. This year, I set a new ground rule that I was not going to resort to uggs unless I am going somewhere (and only there!) where I take my shoes off (gymnastics class with toddler). I also make an effort to put on jewelry now that my kid is old enough not to rip it off me.

[Anonymous]

what was your life like before kids? I know a lot of SAHMs who became SAHMs due at least in part to undiagnosed ADHD that made the work/kid juggle a complete nonstarter.

[Anonymous]

Not enough information, OP. What is your issue? Is it grooming, clothing, what?

If it’s about grooming, my recommendation is a fairly simple routine that doesn’t take very long: a haircut that is relatively wash-and-wear, the clearest most even skin you can manage that you clean in the morning and at night, and makeup that enhances your natural look but doesn’t involve such dramatic changes that you can’t skip it if you need to.

If it’s about clothing, I’d recommend some kind of uniform. I don’t SAH but work in a very casual place. Almost every day, I wear some version of ponte pants and ballet flats with a blouse or a sweater. Occasionally I wear a dress and tall Frye boots. (Yes, I’m aware that tall boots aren’t on trend right now and do not care.) Choose clothing that fits you well and get rid of anything that doesn’t fit you anymore or hasn’t been worn in a year.

[Anonymous]

Troll.

[Anonymous]

I’m a work from home mom, and I feel the same way. Having an established place to be every morning really kicks off the daily routine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are your children?

4 and 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what was your life like before kids? I know a lot of SAHMs who became SAHMs due at least in part to undiagnosed ADHD that made the work/kid juggle a complete nonstarter.

Really. I’ve never heard this before. I had a career before kids but always wanted to stay at home. No ADHD here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not enough information, OP. What is your issue? Is it grooming, clothing, what?

If it’s about grooming, my recommendation is a fairly simple routine that doesn’t take very long: a haircut that is relatively wash-and-wear, the clearest most even skin you can manage that you clean in the morning and at night, and makeup that enhances your natural look but doesn’t involve such dramatic changes that you can’t skip it if you need to.

If it’s about clothing, I’d recommend some kind of uniform. I don’t SAH but work in a very casual place. Almost every day, I wear some version of ponte pants and ballet flats with a blouse or a sweater. Occasionally I wear a dress and tall Frye boots. (Yes, I’m aware that tall boots aren’t on trend right now and do not care.) Choose clothing that fits you well and get rid of anything that doesn’t fit you anymore or hasn’t been worn in a year.

Thats the problem. I need help in so many areas. I don’t take time to groom myself like I used to and I’m no where near as stylish as I was before kids. My priorities have changed but I was once very much into myself and into fashion. I start every year with motivation to do better and fall all by February.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Troll.

I’m not sure why you would call me a troll.

[Anonymous]

This may not apply to you, but the SAHM parents (men and women) who can't seem to get it together are usually dealing with depression, anxiety, ADHD, or something of that nature. I speak from personal experience and observation of others.

[Anonymous]

No leggings except at gym. No lounge clothes unless you are in bed with the flu.

Wake up, shower, get dressed in nice clothes (not fancy, but non spandex pants/denim and a presentable shirt or simple dress), do your hair and bit of make up, and make your bed.

Doing all of these things first thing in the morning will set the stage for you to feel better about your self and productive and that productivity will lead to more productivity. Even if you don't leave the house, you will get much more accomplished if you put in an effort in the morning to "get ready"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what was your life like before kids? I know a lot of SAHMs who became SAHMs due at least in part to undiagnosed ADHD that made the work/kid juggle a complete nonstarter.

Really. I’ve never heard this before. I had a career before kids but always wanted to stay at home. No ADHD here.

That’s nice. “A lot” =/= “all” or even “most.”

[Anonymous]

^^and to add- wake up and get fully ready before your kids wake up.