MIL said I abandoned my children by working

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This wouldn’t bother you if you didn’t, at some level, feel like you abandoned your kids by working.

Please go away. Adults are talking.

I’m sorry I hit a nerve.

NP. I’ve been a SAHM for 13 years, and your “hit a nerve” remark is laughable. All of this obviously hit a nerve with you. Either you’re some misogynist male that thinks women need to be at home or you’re some martyr SAHM. Obviously I believe staying at home has its benefits, but make no mistake about it...you’re depriving your children of major benefits (401k contributions, 529 contributions, etc.). Some could argue it’s financial abandonment to stay at home so get off your high-horse Karen.

Nah. We’re fine financially.

So defensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. You’re right it is delusional. It bothers me though because it makes me wonder how long she’s felt this way and why she’s saying it now.

Who cares how long she’s felt this way. What does it matter whether it’s 16 years or 16 minutes. The result is still the same: Your MIL is judgmental and lacking in class.

I agree with her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. You’re right it is delusional. It bothers me though because it makes me wonder how long she’s felt this way and why she’s saying it now.

Who cares how long she’s felt this way. What does it matter whether it’s 16 years or 16 minutes. The result is still the same: Your MIL is judgmental and lacking in class.

I agree with her

And how do you feel about OP's DH? Did he also abandon his kids by working?

[Anonymous]

Most boomers and up see the world this way whether they voice it or not. I'd let it go since she clearly just blurted it out unthinkingly and hasn't said it before. Boomers and older believed- truly- that children are better off with mom at home and that mom working actually caused kids to be disadvantaged at best, harmed at worst. And just so that their other backward views don't hit you by surprise- they also think women aren't competent managers, that interracial couples are edgy if not unacceptable, and that gays shouldn't have equal rights. Do not become upset. You will not fix the views of an entire generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a great reason for a polite but frosty distance from here until her death. Enjoy, OP!

You sound lovely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most boomers and up see the world this way whether they voice it or not. I'd let it go since she clearly just blurted it out unthinkingly and hasn't said it before. Boomers and older believed- truly- that children are better off with mom at home and that mom working actually caused kids to be disadvantaged at best, harmed at worst. And just so that their other backward views don't hit you by surprise- they also think women aren't competent managers, that interracial couples are edgy if not unacceptable, and that gays shouldn't have equal rights. Do not become upset. You will not fix the views of an entire generation.

Sorry, not going to take your bait, troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most boomers and up see the world this way whether they voice it or not. I'd let it go since she clearly just blurted it out unthinkingly and hasn't said it before. Boomers and older believed- truly- that children are better off with mom at home and that mom working actually caused kids to be disadvantaged at best, harmed at worst. And just so that their other backward views don't hit you by surprise- they also think women aren't competent managers, that interracial couples are edgy if not unacceptable, and that gays shouldn't have equal rights. Do not become upset. You will not fix the views of an entire generation.

Sorry, not going to take your bait, troll.

Why? That ^PP is not wrong. Sure, there are outliers, but by and large, the older generation, even women, think this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. You’re right it is delusional. It bothers me though because it makes me wonder how long she’s felt this way and why she’s saying it now.

Who cares how long she’s felt this way. What does it matter whether it’s 16 years or 16 minutes. The result is still the same: Your MIL is judgmental and lacking in class.

I agree with her

Well, you too can make yourself irrelevant to your grandchildren some day.