Allowing kids to disrespect furniture?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread explains so much.

Signed,
A Teacher

Please educate us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a giant sectional in our family room and my 6 and 4 year old often climb all over it. They are pretty good about stopping when I tell them to but it’s the family room and I’m not going to get all bent out of shape about it. I worry about them getting hurt, not about disrespecting the furniture. They never do it in the living room. My guess is that OP doesn’t have kids!

Or if she has kids they will end up being anal retentive.

Teaching your children to respect the property of others is not anal retentive but teaching them how to behave as human beings as opposed to feral animals. I would bet that no one is happy to be around you or your children as you have no manners.

Not PP. Then you and your children must be extraordinarily stupid if none of you can fathom the difference between how you behave at home vs at others’ homes. When I’m at home, I have my feet on the sofa, but I’d never do that at anyone’s home. I have the capacity to make this distinction and no-one has ever faulted my manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is about teaching your children to respect the property of other people. Personally, we bought high end furniture from beginning because I was reared in a home with high end furniture and we were not allowed to behave as feral animals and our children were trated the same. It is a waste of money to buy cheap junk furniture. You are judged by how your children behave and how they respect the property of other people!

You and others need to stop calling children ‘feral, brats, wild animals,etc’. You keep talking about how well you were raised, but somehow none of you were taught that your opinion isn’t the only one that matters. You also weren’t taught empathy.

[Anonymous]

I have kids and my children know that furniture is not for jumping on. I only allow it if it's crappy furniture in a rumpus room or something. They climb, run, and so forth all over the place, but they may not write on or destroy furniture or walls, especially others'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have kids and my children know that furniture is not for jumping on. I only allow it if it's crappy furniture in a rumpus room or something. They climb, run, and so forth all over the place, but they may not write on or destroy furniture or walls, especially others'.

So they do jump on furniture, then?

[Anonymous]

My children (2 and 4) have one couch in their room that they are allowed to climb on, take the cushions off to run it into a fort, etc. They always put it back together when they are done. Many older (50+) relatives are horrified by this and I get lots of “my kids were NEVER allowed!” sermons regarding this behavior, but I ignore it because my children have benefited so much from this type of free, physical play. They also never write on walls, throw food, rip things off of shelves, etc. and are overall, considering their ages, well-behaved and understand boundaries.

[Anonymous]

I have read a *lot* of parenting books, many more than you, and I am a HUGE believer in natural consequences. If the children disrespect the furniture, it should be up to the furniture to confront them about their behavior. I guarantee it will not happen again after that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When did “disrespect” become a word?

Verb, 1614

Noun, 1621

[Anonymous]

I don't let our kids 4 and 6 jump on the couch and I teach them to abide by rules including being careful with furniture. But there's a limit. As a 3 year old, my son used to like climbing over it from the front to the back, and vice versa. He usually would stop when I told him to, but the behavior recurred about once a week. It would get tiring repeatedly telling the boy to stop.

Maybe OP caught the Mom when she was too tired to care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People have their own set of rules in their own homes and chose to be focus or not focus on certain things as they please. It’s not for you to judge or try to “understand” where the line is to be drawn.

I for one never understood the wording “respecting furniture”. In my house, my kids are not allowed to jump on the couches. But that is the rule. They were expected to follow the rule. Period. They respect US, and therefore followed the rules. They never respected the couch. That’s stupid. The couch is a thing. We don’t respect things. Now that my kids are older they understand they have to take care of things because they cost money and someone has to work hard to get them. And therefore they have to respect the person who is working and not treat things as disposable pieces of garbage. Again, they respect the person, not the thing.

You sound fun!

There is a powerful truth that goes much further beyond her example. She’s teaching the core value; don’t be materialistic, and respect differences in people and their authority. She does sound fun. I though the same thing: a couch doesn’t have feelings. It’s an object that can burn to soot. Understanding rules and why they matter, the spirit behind it, makes sense. And helps people like OP adjust as adults when the rules are different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is about teaching your children to respect the property of other people. Personally, we bought high end furniture from beginning because I was reared in a home with high end furniture and we were not allowed to behave as feral animals and our children were trated the same. It is a waste of money to buy cheap junk furniture. You are judged by how your children behave and how they respect the property of other people!

You and others need to stop calling children ‘feral, brats, wild animals,etc’. You keep talking about how well you were raised, but somehow none of you were taught that your opinion isn’t the only one that matters. You also weren’t taught empathy.

Bingo.

[Anonymous]

I cannot respect any couch that does not first respect itself. Sounds to me like this furniture got what it deserved.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 kids (3 & 5)and this is definitely not allowed and they don’t do it. My kids are just like other kids (ie are not angels) and people always comment how well behaved they are- this must be why!

But still don’t think it’s the end of the world especially if it’s in the family room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People keep saying “get back to us when you have kids!” but weren’t we all kids at one time? I never did this to my parents’ furniture as a kid. Y’all were jumping all over your furniture growing up?

I was. We used to pretend the floor was lava and we couldn’t touch it or we would die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People keep saying “get back to us when you have kids!” but weren’t we all kids at one time? I never did this to my parents’ furniture as a kid. Y’all were jumping all over your furniture growing up?

I was. We used to pretend the floor was lava and we couldn’t touch it or we would die.

We weren’t supposed to climb/jump on the furniture. So we moved it closer together so that we could step quietly from one to the next. It wasn’t climbing or jumping, and we were never told not to stand on the chairs or couch.