Allowing kids to disrespect furniture?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I’m at my cousin’s house. She has two little ones, 5 and 3. These kids are allowed to jump on the couch, jump onto it by scaling the back. They’ll go from a trot on the floor, up, and into a trot along the couch cushions. Not once has my cousin told them to stop, and yes, she witnesses it happening.

What’s up with parents who allow their kids disrespect furniture? It makes me feel older than 36, but I’m appalled! I’d never let my kids do this, nor would they even try to do this.

Nanny here.

I’ve worked with families who bought cheap furniture for the whole house, assuming they would replace when kids got past the “rough stage.” They really didn’t care about any of it, so any crafts were encouraged, and we didn’t have to be careful about things going through the paper, spilled nail polish, etc.

Some parents buy decent furniture for most of the house, but certain pieces are designated as “kid furniture.” Those will be replaced when they get older. So, they were allowed to jump on their beds, dive on the kid couch, do crafts on the kid’s table, etc.

Other parents buy good furniture, and they don’t want to have anything happen to it. They usually limit the crafts and activities, and it’s hard for active kids if they’re supposed to stay home and inside when the weather doesn’t cooperate. Not impossible, just difficult.

Overall, I find that’s the type of family I prefer designates certain furniture for kids. I can easily teach kids to be careful with most pieces (and walls, carpets, etc) when they can relax and have fun with others. I’m not saying that I allow careless behavior, but when kids are doing multiple things, I’ve had tiny holes (nail point went through wood while building bird feeders), bare spots (spilled nail polish), stains (markers went through multiple layers of paper), and scratches (not sure exactly how it happened). We work on how to avoid issues, but they’re kids, so accidents do happen.

[Anonymous]

It is about teaching your children to respect the property of other people. Personally, we bought high end furniture from beginning because I was reared in a home with high end furniture and we were not allowed to behave as feral animals and our children were trated the same. It is a waste of money to buy cheap junk furniture. You are judged by how your children behave and how they respect the property of other people!

[Anonymous]

My four year old knows he's allowed to jump on our sofa but not on our bed, grandma's sofa, or other people's furniture. It's not all or nothing..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is about teaching your children to respect the property of other people. Personally, we bought high end furniture from beginning because I was reared in a home with high end furniture and we were not allowed to behave as feral animals and our children were trated the same. It is a waste of money to buy cheap junk furniture. You are judged by how your children behave and how they respect the property of other people!

OP is judging a kid who is in their own home, not in someone else’s home. Apparently the children’s parents were ok with it.

[Anonymous]

So my kids have always been allowed to jump around/over my own sofa. I'm fine with it.

My kids are not allowed to jump around/over anyone else's. It's been explained to them. They understand, and have always followed it.

I don't care if someone else comes into my OWN home and doesn't like them jumping on my own sofa. I'm fine with it so that's all that matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I’m at my cousin’s house. She has two little ones, 5 and 3. These kids are allowed to jump on the couch, jump onto it by scaling the back. They’ll go from a trot on the floor, up, and into a trot along the couch cushions. Not once has my cousin told them to stop, and yes, she witnesses it happening.

What’s up with parents who allow their kids disrespect furniture? It makes me feel older than 36, but I’m appalled! I’d never let my kids do this, nor would they even try to do this.

Ha ha ha! I bet you don’t have kids. Do you think they’re supposed to sit quietly all day? If kids did THAT, I’d be freaked out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I agree with you. My five are grown now. We never allowed them to climb on furniture. Children need to be taught how to behave. In our home, we do not climb on the furniture. We climb outdoors on the play structure. We climb trees. We climb money bars. We jump on trampolines and in the pool. We do not jump on or climb on furniture. Part of our responsibility as parents is to teach good behavior.

And that’s fine for YOUR home. You and OP do not get to dictate what others allow in their homes. Mind your own damn business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wonder if they do this in libraries.

Wonder if you’re always this odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wonder if they do this in libraries.

Of course they do. These are the kids that are nightmares in restaurants, at play dates, in stores, etc. It’s not their fault. It’s simply the result of poor parenting.

Parents like you like putting others down so you feel better about your parenting failures. Why don’t you go check on your own kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 27 and would never allow my child to do that. That's what playgrounds and tumbling classes are for.

Because everyone lives near a playground or can afford tumbling classes. For a 27-year old, you’re very clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People keep saying “get back to us when you have kids!” but weren’t we all kids at one time? I never did this to my parents’ furniture as a kid. Y’all were jumping all over your furniture growing up?

And I bet you never built a fort out of couch cushions and blankets either? Because that would be disrespectful?

I didn’t. We didn’t do any of that. My parents’ furniture was not a playground for me. This thread explains so much about kids acting the GD fool all of the time.

Unclench! I can feel your tension through my screen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t let my kids jump on the couch because they will likely fall off and crack their heads on the coffee table. I’m pretty lax though and let them get away with some times as long as they aren’t getting too rambunctious. I have boys.

Simple. Don’t have a coffee table in the LR. We’ve never had one and somehow survived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is white people stuff isn’t it? Asians y’all doing this?

NP. I'm white and I find it appalling. The same people are the ones who give their wild animals to the teacher and say, "Here, they're your problem now." It's outrageous.

I’m not white and I think it’s totally normal for kids to do this. I have no idea why you two are bringing race into this. So odd. And calling children ‘wild animals’ tells me a lot about your mental state. I hope you don’t procreate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this something you care about? It's her furniture. I don't get it. Surely you have more important things going on in your life.

I don’t think she does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because maybe she's okay with it? She values her children being able to play and be active, over sitting quietly like "nice little children".

They're children! It's only furniture!

Your philosophy is why there are so many brats. In my house no shoes on furniture, no jumping on furniture and, believe me, any kid visiting obeys my rules and I have no problem on telling them to stop. However, my friends teach their children to respect their home and the homes of other people. [/

Parents who call other people’s children brats usually have no clue what their own children are up to...