What is up with the parents hanging at the bus stop?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you're "flustered" over this, I'm not sure you're going to survive living in the DC area. Lol.

This was my thought exactly! OP, do whatever you like and your neighbors will continue to do what they like. No one cares, and even if they do, so what.

Good lord, yes. Nobody cares. They are there because they have the time and probably want to socialize. You don't have to do this if you don't want to. Send your 5th grader alone and don't worry about it.

Agree. And the other parents do not care what you do- at all. I walk mine to the bus in the AM but they walk alone in the PM (and sometimes come home to an empty house- 4th and 5th graders). Not a hover mom at all- just enjoy the morning walk and chat over coffee before I go to work.

[Anonymous]

They are not teens in 5th grade. I'm shocked how parents check out when kids are 5-6-7-8 and think they are done parenting.

You know what? Letting your kid navigate the bus stop alone IS parenting! My 8 year old walked to the store yesterday with his 10 year old sisters and her friend. Before hand, we talked through what to do in various situations. Afterward, we talked about how it went. Turns out the big bag of Halloween candy I instructed them to buy wasn’t available, so together they worked out what to get instead and whether they had enough money. They were all very proud of their problem solving when they got home and through experiences like that gain the confidence and skills to navigate the world.

That said, I do sometimes walk my kids to school to say hi to the crowd there, as it’s community building. But more often than not they go alone with friends.

[Anonymous]

I love my bus stop crew. Yes, lots of parents come and talk. The kids run around and do whatever-no helicopter parenting here.

There is something about seeing each other before coffee has kicked in, pre-makeup, stressed out real life people, that makes us more genuine & closer. Our bus stop has evolved into an extended family.

[Anonymous]

Still LOLing at the mommy who feels it's important she be there to reassure the kids by calling the "bus depot" when it's running late

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my bus stop crew. Yes, lots of parents come and talk. The kids run around and do whatever-no helicopter parenting here.

There is something about seeing each other before coffee has kicked in, pre-makeup, stressed out real life people, that makes us more genuine & closer. Our bus stop has evolved into an extended family.

Aw, that’s awesome. Ours was like this the first few years and then it all fell apart — beware the miserable mean mom who secretly hates her life; she’ll stir shit up because she has nothing else to do. BTDT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So in our neighborhood, elementary kids can't wait at the bus stop alone if their house cannot be seen by the bus driver. The layout of our street means that's about 5 kids. So the bus stop turns into a social thing. DS could be there by himself, but dh enjoys chatting with some of our friends. And sometimes I get home from work before the bus comes so will pull over and come out and say hi to everyone. No one cares about or judges the parents that aren't there.

What school system is this? How bizarre!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is bizarre. Also, these kids aren't learning basic things like how to walk down the street by themselves. Just another example of parents putting their own experience of being a parent above the needs of their children.

Agree. The bus stop shouldn’t be an opportunity for parents to socialize. It ruins the social dynamic of the kids. Bus stops are a great place for kids to be social with other kids they may not necessarily be friends with or socialize with at school, and talk candidly with each other. I have great memories of hanging out at the bus stop as a child from as early as kindergarten. Parents were never there. It was a blast. Even in bad weather, or buses running late, we had each other and made the best of it. Once in a blue moon, if it was a down pour, someone’s mom in a minivan might show up and we would all pile in. But this was a rare occurrence even for bad weather. Help your child dress appropriately and any weather shouldn’t be an issue. It is ok for them for be uncomfortable for a short time.

+1

It is amazing how these parents feel their socialization at the bus stop is more important than their own kid's independence and social skills.

YES TO THIS!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Still LOLing at the mommy who feels it's important she be there to reassure the kids by calling the "bus depot" when it's running late

And she said it was a magnet which means middle school or higher. I mean how anxious and completely incapable are these "smart" kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

They are not teens in 5th grade. I'm shocked how parents check out when kids are 5-6-7-8 and think they are done parenting.

You know what? Letting your kid navigate the bus stop alone IS parenting! My 8 year old walked to the store yesterday with his 10 year old sisters and her friend. Before hand, we talked through what to do in various situations. Afterward, we talked about how it went. Turns out the big bag of Halloween candy I instructed them to buy wasn’t available, so together they worked out what to get instead and whether they had enough money. They were all very proud of their problem solving when they got home and through experiences like that gain the confidence and skills to navigate the world.

That said, I do sometimes walk my kids to school to say hi to the crowd there, as it’s community building. But more often than not they go alone with friends.

That's sad you cannot walk with your 8 year old to the store.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you're "flustered" over this, I'm not sure you're going to survive living in the DC area. Lol.

This was my thought exactly! OP, do whatever you like and your neighbors will continue to do what they like. No one cares, and even if they do, so what.

Good lord, yes. Nobody cares. They are there because they have the time and probably want to socialize. You don't have to do this if you don't want to. Send your 5th grader alone and don't worry about it.

How come in the 70/80's when the majority of moms were SAHM - none of them were at the bus stops, morning or afternoon. Did they not have time? Did they not want to socialize? Maybe they just felt their kids were able to do and it was the kid's thing. Not a parent socialization thing? I walked home from K half day with 3 other K students. I remember always planning our afternoon before the big kids came home. We would eat lunch when we got home and talked about our day. Then we would meet back outside to play horse stables on the fence or bike in the cul de sac before the big kids took over playing stick ball.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my bus stop crew. Yes, lots of parents come and talk. The kids run around and do whatever-no helicopter parenting here.

There is something about seeing each other before coffee has kicked in, pre-makeup, stressed out real life people, that makes us more genuine & closer. Our bus stop has evolved into an extended family.

Aw, that’s awesome. Ours was like this the first few years and then it all fell apart — beware the miserable mean mom who secretly hates her life; she’ll stir shit up because she has nothing else to do. BTDT.

Sounds like bus stops are soap operas. So glad I live upcounty. Things are more laxed up here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you're "flustered" over this, I'm not sure you're going to survive living in the DC area. Lol.

This was my thought exactly! OP, do whatever you like and your neighbors will continue to do what they like. No one cares, and even if they do, so what.

Good lord, yes. Nobody cares. They are there because they have the time and probably want to socialize. You don't have to do this if you don't want to. Send your 5th grader alone and don't worry about it.

How come in the 70/80's when the majority of moms were SAHM - none of them were at the bus stops, morning or afternoon. Did they not have time? Did they not want to socialize? Maybe they just felt their kids were able to do and it was the kid's thing. Not a parent socialization thing? I walked home from K half day with 3 other K students. I remember always planning our afternoon before the big kids came home. We would eat lunch when we got home and talked about our day. Then we would meet back outside to play horse stables on the fence or bike in the cul de sac before the big kids took over playing stick ball.

They had all day to socialize with the other SAHMs, so they didn’t have to do it at the bus stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you're "flustered" over this, I'm not sure you're going to survive living in the DC area. Lol.

This was my thought exactly! OP, do whatever you like and your neighbors will continue to do what they like. No one cares, and even if they do, so what.

Good lord, yes. Nobody cares. They are there because they have the time and probably want to socialize. You don't have to do this if you don't want to. Send your 5th grader alone and don't worry about it.

How come in the 70/80's when the majority of moms were SAHM - none of them were at the bus stops, morning or afternoon. Did they not have time? Did they not want to socialize? Maybe they just felt their kids were able to do and it was the kid's thing. Not a parent socialization thing? I walked home from K half day with 3 other K students. I remember always planning our afternoon before the big kids came home. We would eat lunch when we got home and talked about our day. Then we would meet back outside to play horse stables on the fence or bike in the cul de sac before the big kids took over playing stick ball.

They had all day to socialize with the other SAHMs, so they didn’t have to do it at the bus stop.

All the moms hanging around at our bus stop are SAHM and one WOHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather have the hoard of standing parents at the bus stop vs. the hoard of minivans that congregate on rainy, cold, or snowy days.

Why ONE parent can't be designated the "holding" van instead of each kid needing their own van is beyond me (and then rotate it). The other morning when we had our first frost and it was in the 30s, 10 minivans were lined at the bus stop on each side, totally illegally parked as well, and made it so difficult to make a right or left out of our neighborhood.

THIS!! This is not a "I like talking to other moms" situation. This is a coddling situation.

And for what it is worth, I don't like either situation. Kids actually need independence and autonomy. If you want a morning social hour, go off and get coffee or go do yoga together. There are parents at the middle school bus stop here. Just no.

I had a mom creepily ride slowly back in her minivan once I started letting my daughter walk home alone. She did this 3 days in a row. My DD hated it and came in, in a puff all 3 days. I sent her a text saying thanks, but DD doesn't like it and she asked and is fine walking home on her own. She sent me back a long text about how she was worried about her. She is 9 and it is maybe 7 houses away. The fear mongering and I love my kids more than yours, is aggressive in the metro suburbs.

Yikes, sounds like it! Completely foreign to me--we live in DC and there are no school buses for public schools.

Wait til your kids get to middle school and are possibly taking a WMATA designated bus. The idea of 6th graders taking public transportation is unfathomable to many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is bizarre. Also, these kids aren't learning basic things like how to walk down the street by themselves. Just another example of parents putting their own experience of being a parent above the needs of their children.

Agree. The bus stop shouldn’t be an opportunity for parents to socialize. It ruins the social dynamic of the kids. Bus stops are a great place for kids to be social with other kids they may not necessarily be friends with or socialize with at school, and talk candidly with each other. I have great memories of hanging out at the bus stop as a child from as early as kindergarten. Parents were never there. It was a blast. Even in bad weather, or buses running late, we had each other and made the best of it. Once in a blue moon, if it was a down pour, someone’s mom in a minivan might show up and we would all pile in. But this was a rare occurrence even for bad weather. Help your child dress appropriately and any weather shouldn’t be an issue. It is ok for them for be uncomfortable for a short time.

Who is making up all these rules? Who is to say when and where people can and should socialize? DCUM is a strange group.

+1. How bizarre. I can’t even imagine caring about whether other parents do or don’t walk their kid to the bus stop. I do on my days off, and don’t on the days I work. Who cares, really.

Because you all never leave your kids alone. They never have time to be with friends without parents around. This is very important as kids learn social skills, increase their independence, make mistakes, use critical thinking skills, and navigate the best decisions for themselves on their own. This helps them avoid becoming anxious kids/teens who need their parents for simple decisions and questions. I find it bizarre you don't realize that. I am sick of moms watching my kid like a hawk at play dates, the park, the bus stop, etc... They are old enough to be on their own and deserve time without Larla's mom telling them to be careful, let's do this instead, are you sure you are okay, etc...

So you know this simply based on the fact that parents might walk their elementary aged kids to the bus stop? You know, e.g., that this means that the kids are never otherwise allowed to play outside without close supervision after school or on weekends? This fact alone, without knowing anything at all about the rest of someone’s life, makes them a bad helicopter parent? Geez.