Why get married if you cannot do without sex?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been married almost 40 years and sex has NEVER been the most important thing in our marriage but it’s always been a physical connection we both love. When I got married I wanted someone I respected, loved and not just physically, hopefully would be a good father and who had some goals and ambition because I did. What is surprising is that the sex is more adventurous and intimate than it was when we first got married though the frequency is down to 1-2 times a week. Just last night I was really in the mood and I let my husband know it so when we ended up in bed later it quickly got very feverish. I have no idea if our relationship is a one of a kind after 40 years but when I read threads like this it makes me appreciate what we have.

[Anonymous]

i have WAY more sex married than I ever did as a single person. Same for my husband. When you are single you have to work for it.

- Married 17 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i have WAY more sex married than I ever did as a single person. Same for my husband. When you are single you have to work for it.

- Married 17 years

Me too - even when I was in a serious relationship and not living with someone it might be twice a week and then there could be months with no sex if I wasn’t in a relationship. I’ve been married 12 years and my husband I’d so easy that it takes little effort to make it happen.

[Anonymous]

Studies show married people get more sex than single people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right, I took it the same way. I was saying that's silly, nobody gets married just to have sex. If that were the case, then of course you shouldn't get married.

90% of the reason men marry is access to sex without dating.

As a man, I can promise you this has zero to do with it. Most men see sex within marriage as a sacrifice for love, commitment and family. You think single men aren't aware of the jokes about married sex life being non-existent? And the idea of a bachelor party as saying goodbye to your wild days?

Married sex is fine, if you are lucky, it can even be good but no man would trade married sex over their single days (unless they were very unlucky on the dating scene).

Men couple up for convenience. Dating is work and men are lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or make that clear to your spouse( sign a prenup stating the frequency or something).

Yeah negotiating attraction with women always works.

Not to mention, women will genuinely and sincerely believe it when they tell you, pre-marriage, that the sex will stay good and frequent... but that doesn't mean they won't change their minds five years later.

I would have been willing to negotiate frequency if his weight range, respect, attention to me, hygiene, income were also specified, to my satisfaction.
I just love men who think they were conned, when they conned women, by changing, ( & not for the better)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right, I took it the same way. I was saying that's silly, nobody gets married just to have sex. If that were the case, then of course you shouldn't get married.

90% of the reason men marry is access to sex without dating.

As a man, I can promise you this has zero to do with it. Most men see sex within marriage as a sacrifice for love, commitment and family. You think single men aren't aware of the jokes about married sex life being non-existent? And the idea of a bachelor party as saying goodbye to your wild days?

Married sex is fine, if you are lucky, it can even be good but no man would trade married sex over their single days (unless they were very unlucky on the dating scene).

Men couple up for convenience. Dating is work and men are lazy.

Guy here, and I agree that most men couple up for convenience. I spent many years believing marriage was just something you were "supposed to do". I had no desire for it, and couldn't understand why all my friends let themselves get tied down. Then I met my wife, and I could not marry her fast enough. I then figured that I was the oddball, and that it just took me a lot longer to find what they had.

But after hanging out with my buddies after I'd married, I really started listening to what they said about their wives. And I realized, holy crap. None of these dudes like their wives, and it doesn't sound like their wives like them. If it weren't for the kids and shared assets, I don't know if a single one of them would still be married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right, I took it the same way. I was saying that's silly, nobody gets married just to have sex. If that were the case, then of course you shouldn't get married.

90% of the reason men marry is access to sex without dating.

As a man, I can promise you this has zero to do with it. Most men see sex within marriage as a sacrifice for love, commitment and family. You think single men aren't aware of the jokes about married sex life being non-existent? And the idea of a bachelor party as saying goodbye to your wild days?

Married sex is fine, if you are lucky, it can even be good but no man would trade married sex over their single days (unless they were very unlucky on the dating scene).

Men couple up for convenience. Dating is work and men are lazy.

Guy here, and I agree that most men couple up for convenience. I spent many years believing marriage was just something you were "supposed to do". I had no desire for it, and couldn't understand why all my friends let themselves get tied down. Then I met my wife, and I could not marry her fast enough. I then figured that I was the oddball, and that it just took me a lot longer to find what they had.

But after hanging out with my buddies after I'd married, I really started listening to what they said about their wives. And I realized, holy crap. None of these dudes like their wives, and it doesn't sound like their wives like them. If it weren't for the kids and shared assets, I don't know if a single one of them would still be married.

Agree that most people feel that way. I'm female, and always believed getting married and having kids was what I was supposed to do, before I got too old. Most of my friends, male and female, felt the same way. I think a lot of people then view potential partners through the lens of "can I have kids with this person?" rather than "can I have a great partnership with this person?" As a result, most are unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right, I took it the same way. I was saying that's silly, nobody gets married just to have sex. If that were the case, then of course you shouldn't get married.

90% of the reason men marry is access to sex without dating.

As a man, I can promise you this has zero to do with it. Most men see sex within marriage as a sacrifice for love, commitment and family. You think single men aren't aware of the jokes about married sex life being non-existent? And the idea of a bachelor party as saying goodbye to your wild days?

Married sex is fine, if you are lucky, it can even be good but no man would trade married sex over their single days (unless they were very unlucky on the dating scene).

Men couple up for convenience. Dating is work and men are lazy.

Guy here, and I agree that most men couple up for convenience. I spent many years believing marriage was just something you were "supposed to do". I had no desire for it, and couldn't understand why all my friends let themselves get tied down. Then I met my wife, and I could not marry her fast enough. I then figured that I was the oddball, and that it just took me a lot longer to find what they had.

But after hanging out with my buddies after I'd married, I really started listening to what they said about their wives. And I realized, holy crap. None of these dudes like their wives, and it doesn't sound like their wives like them. If it weren't for the kids and shared assets, I don't know if a single one of them would still be married.

Yea but the minute one gets divorced he will couple again within 30 days.

Men hate being alone and are lazy.

[Anonymous]

People not having sexual are more vocal than people having it. That’s why you can’t trust negative reviews.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Yea but the minute one gets divorced he will couple again within 30 days.

Men hate being alone and are lazy.

Which is why I said most men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Agree that most people feel that way. I'm female, and always believed getting married and having kids was what I was supposed to do, before I got too old. Most of my friends, male and female, felt the same way. I think a lot of people then view potential partners through the lens of "can I have kids with this person?" rather than "can I have a great partnership with this person?" As a result, most are unhappy.

I'm 11:13. I actually know a couple guys whose thought process was literally that viewpoint; they wanted kids asap, and were literally looking for the first decent-looking female they came across that they could tolerate. It's clear that many of their wives had the same mentality.

Really glad I resisted all that and only decided to get married when I met someone that I knew I had to keep in my life at all costs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Agree that most people feel that way. I'm female, and always believed getting married and having kids was what I was supposed to do, before I got too old. Most of my friends, male and female, felt the same way. I think a lot of people then view potential partners through the lens of "can I have kids with this person?" rather than "can I have a great partnership with this person?" As a result, most are unhappy.

I'm 11:13. I actually know a couple guys whose thought process was literally that viewpoint; they wanted kids asap, and were literally looking for the first decent-looking female they came across that they could tolerate. It's clear that many of their wives had the same mentality.

Really glad I resisted all that and only decided to get married when I met someone that I knew I had to keep in my life at all costs.

If both husband and wife have the same mentality, there shouldnt be that much of an issue about frequency of sex. Both came into with getting married ASAP to have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Agree that most people feel that way. I'm female, and always believed getting married and having kids was what I was supposed to do, before I got too old. Most of my friends, male and female, felt the same way. I think a lot of people then view potential partners through the lens of "can I have kids with this person?" rather than "can I have a great partnership with this person?" As a result, most are unhappy.

I'm 11:13. I actually know a couple guys whose thought process was literally that viewpoint; they wanted kids asap, and were literally looking for the first decent-looking female they came across that they could tolerate. It's clear that many of their wives had the same mentality.

Really glad I resisted all that and only decided to get married when I met someone that I knew I had to keep in my life at all costs.

If both husband and wife have the same mentality, there shouldnt be that much of an issue about frequency of sex. Both came into with getting married ASAP to have kids.

If there's a disparity in sex drives at any point, then yeah there's gonna be an issue. Even if they got together to have kids, if one is always wanting sex and the other doesn't, that's a recipe for...well, just read this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right, I took it the same way. I was saying that's silly, nobody gets married just to have sex. If that were the case, then of course you shouldn't get married.

90% of the reason men marry is access to sex without dating.

As a man, I can promise you this has zero to do with it. Most men see sex within marriage as a sacrifice for love, commitment and family. You think single men aren't aware of the jokes about married sex life being non-existent? And the idea of a bachelor party as saying goodbye to your wild days?

Married sex is fine, if you are lucky, it can even be good but no man would trade married sex over their single days (unless they were very unlucky on the dating scene).

Men couple up for convenience. Dating is work and men are lazy.

Guy here, and I agree that most men couple up for convenience. I spent many years believing marriage was just something you were "supposed to do". I had no desire for it, and couldn't understand why all my friends let themselves get tied down. Then I met my wife, and I could not marry her fast enough. I then figured that I was the oddball, and that it just took me a lot longer to find what they had.

But after hanging out with my buddies after I'd married, I really started listening to what they said about their wives. And I realized, holy crap. None of these dudes like their wives, and it doesn't sound like their wives like them. If it weren't for the kids and shared assets, I don't know if a single one of them would still be married.

Yea but the minute one gets divorced he will couple again within 30 days.

Men hate being alone and are lazy.

Yes because women hate being alone and are lazy,