Why get married if you cannot do without sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably for the same reason I got married think my DH would always be fun, loving, and do his fair share. Now he’s too tired and stressed for any of that.

Divorce your boring lazy husband. Don’t stay sexlessly married to a horrible partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably for the same reason I got married think my DH would always be fun, loving, and do his fair share. Now he’s too tired and stressed for any of that.

And who wants to have sex with that?

If he's unwilling to change it's a big problem. Most of the people complaining about the low sex are probably the cause of it imo. If counseling won't help or the person won't make changes it's probably better to divorce.

Agreed. Woman in long-term marriage here. Yes, my sex drive has diminished greatly over time (and we're both tired and stressed), but I love and respect my husband (and feel loved and respected in return) so I make the effort, both for him and for our relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people don't get married realizing the sex will decrease significantly. Seriously?

This is a well known trope though.

See: any Woody Allen movie ever made. Lol

I'm absolutely not going to take relationship advice from Woody Allen!

Exactly. Woody Allen is offensive and I don't watch his movies. I never have. Or that married with children show. I mean, nobody takes those seriously.

I knew it was a trope. I did not know it was REALITY for many people (by the by, I'm having sex about 2x/week). (And my parents still have sex in their 70s).

[Anonymous]

I think sexual libido decreases after marriage.

I highly doubt anyone would initially get married if the sex was not happening.

Unless one does not believe in fornicating.
But that would be unwise.

Even I try on every shoe before purchase.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some people get married with the false expectation that marriage gives them some legal entitlement to sex at a certain frequency.

Agree. Or if not a legal entitlement, a moral one.
It seems to be a cultural norm that a man's ongoing desire for sex is more important than a woman's equally normal waning interest in sex, after menopause (or for some, after childbirth). I'm not sure why that's fair.

Implicit in monogamy is the idea that one’s spouse will engage in a reasonable amount of sex. No one views marriage as a potential vow of celibacy at someone else’s discretion.

At someone else's discretion? Do you think there are a lot of people out there who choose to lose interest in sex without a legitimate reason? W

Implicit in marriage is the concept of for better or for worse. Where is the empathy for these people?

Anybody with a "legitimate reason for no sex" should divorce. If your partner is so horrible as to not want sex, clearly you must leave them.

Your statement "for better of for worse" applies equally to the rejected partner who seeks sex elsewhere.... no big deal right? Sex isn't important right? Otherwise you'd be having it right? So they are sleeping around: deal with it. For better or for worse.

Having low libido after a certain age makes one a horrible partner? Hate to tell you, but it's pretty normal for menopausal women to have low to no sex drive. It's just a biological fact. Many continue to have sex with their husbands despite the lack of interest, and in some cases despite physical discomfort and frequent urinary tract infections. That makes them pretty generous, in my opinion. A screw-me-or-divorce-me-or-let-me-roam attitude would not inspire a whole lot of generosity in my house. Kindness, respect and gratitude are part of a marriage, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some people get married with the false expectation that marriage gives them some legal entitlement to sex at a certain frequency.

Agree. Or if not a legal entitlement, a moral one.
It seems to be a cultural norm that a man's ongoing desire for sex is more important than a woman's equally normal waning interest in sex, after menopause (or for some, after childbirth). I'm not sure why that's fair.

Implicit in monogamy is the idea that one’s spouse will engage in a reasonable amount of sex. No one views marriage as a potential vow of celibacy at someone else’s discretion.

At someone else's discretion? Do you think there are a lot of people out there who choose to lose interest in sex without a legitimate reason? W

Implicit in marriage is the concept of for better or for worse. Where is the empathy for these people?

Anybody with a "legitimate reason for no sex" should divorce. If your partner is so horrible as to not want sex, clearly you must leave them.

Your statement "for better of for worse" applies equally to the rejected partner who seeks sex elsewhere.... no big deal right? Sex isn't important right? Otherwise you'd be having it right? So they are sleeping around: deal with it. For better or for worse.

Having low libido after a certain age makes one a horrible partner? Hate to tell you, but it's pretty normal for menopausal women to have low to no sex drive. It's just a biological fact. Many continue to have sex with their husbands despite the lack of interest, and in some cases despite physical discomfort and frequent urinary tract infections. That makes them pretty generous, in my opinion. A screw-me-or-divorce-me-or-let-me-roam attitude would not inspire a whole lot of generosity in my house. Kindness, respect and gratitude are part of a marriage, too.

Gratitude for having sex? That's as bad as the ones expecting sex.please doing set us back with those statements.

[Anonymous]

Men get married because they want children, or more accurately they want their offspring (genetic material) in the world, and they want a woman to take care of them. It's scientifically proven that married men have a longer lifespan than single men.
The modern marriage is a bad deal for women. It used to be an institution to protect women and the children. With women working and making significant money, but also facing approximately the same childcare and household burden, it's nothing more than increased responsibility. That's why married women have shorter lives compared to single or widowed women. However, it is still the best for children to grow up in a traditional, two parent family so women put up with a lot in order for the children to be protected. It's also expensive to run two households, which also
means less resources for the children.
A ton of . iologically, for child ause the one with the best sperm gets to reproduce. In modern life, this gets translated to

[Anonymous]

PP continuing because my post is too long and I can't edit it.
Biologically, women are wired to have lots of sex with lots of men during fertile times, so the offspring have better genetic material- the best sperm wins. Culturally, it is not appropriate, so most women get bored with the same old **** and cheat. I think women are better at not getting busted. I also think that women are constantly looking to upgrade and would leave unhappy marriages if they find better men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some people get married with the false expectation that marriage gives them some legal entitlement to sex at a certain frequency.

Agree. Or if not a legal entitlement, a moral one.
It seems to be a cultural norm that a man's ongoing desire for sex is more important than a woman's equally normal waning interest in sex, after menopause (or for some, after childbirth). I'm not sure why that's fair.

Implicit in monogamy is the idea that one’s spouse will engage in a reasonable amount of sex. No one views marriage as a potential vow of celibacy at someone else’s discretion.

Yeah, no. I mean, what’s reasonable? And according to whom? Most adults view marriage as offering many benefits, sex being one of them. If it’s the only reason you get married, you probably shouldn’t get married.

[Anonymous]

The entire premise of this thread is dumb, short sighted, and immature. How old are you OP, 20 something?

PP, who only gets married for sex? It's just not that simple and what a shallow person if they do.

[Anonymous]

Sorry PP, I misread your post. Yes, I agree, much more to marriage than just sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men get married because they want children, or more accurately they want their offspring (genetic material) in the world, and they want a woman to take care of them. It's scientifically proven that married men have a longer lifespan than single men.
The modern marriage is a bad deal for women. It used to be an institution to protect women and the children. With women working and making significant money, but also facing approximately the same childcare and household burden, it's nothing more than increased responsibility. That's why married women have shorter lives compared to single or widowed women. However, it is still the best for children to grow up in a traditional, two parent family so women put up with a lot in order for the children to be protected. It's also expensive to run two households, which also
means less resources for the children.
A ton of . iologically, for child ause the one with the best sperm gets to reproduce. In modern life, this gets translated to

Perhaps it's because I live in an upper middle class neighborhood but you describe no married woman I know. Here, the men out earn their wives, most stay home, some work part time, and they all have statistically higher life expectancy than men. I suppose if a woman marries a man with a low income and who is lazy, this becomes a raw deal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The entire premise of this thread is dumb, short sighted, and immature. How old are you OP, 20 something?

PP, who only gets married for sex? It's just not that simple and what a shallow person if they do.

I took OP to mean you "shouldn't" get married if sex is going to be your main criteria.

Honestly, going by some of the ridiculous low sex threads, it's apparent there are some people who shouldn't have gotten married. There are definitely some simple and shallow people out there! Isn't that what OP was trying to convey?

[Anonymous]

Right, I took it the same way. I was saying that's silly, nobody gets married just to have sex. If that were the case, then of course you shouldn't get married.

[Anonymous]

Married people have more sex than single people. Don’t be stupid thinking that complainers are the majority. They aren’t. They are just unhappy and loud about it.