Are husbands generally disappointing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was talking with coworkers the other day and each of us was complaining about having a husband who was an extra child to look after. Ailments such as anxiety, depression, malaise and impulse control were thrown about.

Is this the norm? Are most husbands... dysfunctional man children?

No, it's not because husbands are disappointing... It's because women complain non-stop. "I do all the work" attitude can really kill the marriage.

Is male violence also an issue of women just complaining nonstop about men killing other people?

this game is fun. It's female stupidity to select and procreate with moronic individuals.

So it’s also a woman’s fault if a man is violent?

Some men are violent, some women are violent. What a stupid thing to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Aren't we past anxiety and depression being character weaknesses?


Right? I suffer from anxiety as do my children. I wonder if he disappoint my husband"


It is 100% a character flaw when someone refuses to acknowledge and properly manage his mood disorder. Which is what we're talking about when we're talking about husbands being disappointing and not holding their own in a marriage.

+1. Never admitting things nor improving when there are big or little issues leads to divorce.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think all husbands are disappointing but mine is.

- Almost always no shows to kids events. I stopped making excuses but it makes no sad for them.
- No sex in years, even when I try to initiate.
- Drinks to the point of passing out every night. (This may explain the no sex.)
- Goes silent randomly - not contactable by phone or text. Usually when he sneaks off to a bar with his buddies.
- Lectures me. All. The. Time. About stupid stuff like what I made the kids for breakfast.
- Hyper critical and judgmental of others.
- Under-employed after quitting a perfectly good job without having another job lined up.
- Worries about money privately but tries to act like he is a high roller to friends and acquaintances.
- Is a total snob.
- Rude to my family.
- Angry with the world - blames others for his misfortune. Never considers what part he may have in life situations.

We tried therapy - he thought it was stupid. I have suggested marriage retreats. I read a great marriage book and bought him a copy. I think he will actually be surprised when I ask for a divorce this summer. In retrospect, there were warning signs, but he was a lot of fun when we dated. He has spiraled down quickly with age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think many men are also pretty disappointed with their wives. Anxiety, depression, lack of interest in sex, nagging..


What is with all these man bashing threads?

This board is becoming pretty sexist.

So hilarious that thread after thread these women think the are the ones that are "right" in their marriages. Completely unaware of how people view them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men quickly learn that women are going to be “disappointed “ not matter what you do. Fix one problem, women will just find something else to moan about. The natural male response is to just stop caring at some point.

This is it. Women aren't happy unless they are unhappy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know, OP, raising a family with your spouse is kind of like opening a small business with your best friend. Whenever it goes well, it is really amazing. You are with your best friend all of the time! You get each other, and you know they have your back.
But most of the time, it doesn’t go that well, and you end up sort of wanting to murder each other, not really, but sort of.

Raising children and running a household of more than two adults is the Ultimate Test of one’s character, skills, and abilities.
One either rises to the challenge and brings one’s best to discussions, child-rearing, problem solving, and taking care of everything, the home and people other than oneself.
OR, one shrinks back into a realm of self-centeredness and focuses on what they were conditioned to focus on when single: studies or office work. That looks good externally and gains “rewards.”

This actually gets to some points

Some people never adjust to not being single anymore

Traditionally the woman dealt with the home and the man worked.

Now that these norms are changing you are seeing all sorts of conflict as roles are undefined and all over the place

Again the #1 solution is to communicate specifically about what kind of arrangement you want. Ideally this happens before marriage. Who is going to focus on career, who is going to be the primary parent etc.

If not you can still talk about it but bitching on DCUM accomplishes nothing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls today are indoctrinated to think they are awesome, better than boys, and deserve the very best of everything. It is thus not surprising that reality can’t live up to expectations.

Yes, by all means, let’s blame feminism for this! What are we supposed to do, go back to the 50s and a male-dominated society?

Become lesbians

I think this is actually a great suggestion for many. It seems that there is an element of woman who wants her man neutered and is quite unhappy otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes.

Men typically never. grow. up.

Yes, over half are disappointing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know, OP, raising a family with your spouse is kind of like opening a small business with your best friend. Whenever it goes well, it is really amazing. You are with your best friend all of the time! You get each other, and you know they have your back.
But most of the time, it doesn’t go that well, and you end up sort of wanting to murder each other, not really, but sort of.

Raising children and running a household of more than two adults is the Ultimate Test of one’s character, skills, and abilities.
One either rises to the challenge and brings one’s best to discussions, child-rearing, problem solving, and taking care of everything, the home and people other than oneself.
OR, one shrinks back into a realm of self-centeredness and focuses on what they were conditioned to focus on when single: studies or office work. That looks good externally and gains “rewards.”

+1 tests your character and your bad habits

[Anonymous]

No. Some are, mine is great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls today are indoctrinated to think they are awesome, better than boys, and deserve the very best of everything. It is thus not surprising that reality can’t live up to expectations.

Yes, by all means, let’s blame feminism for this! What are we supposed to do, go back to the 50s and a male-dominated society?

Become lesbians

I think this is actually a great suggestion for many. It seems that there is an element of woman who wants her man neutered and is quite unhappy otherwise.

Real men don't need alpha characteristics to be real men. What rubbish, nobody wants to neuter men! Only insecure male would post something so dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls today are indoctrinated to think they are awesome, better than boys, and deserve the very best of everything. It is thus not surprising that reality can’t live up to expectations.

Yes, by all means, let’s blame feminism for this! What are we supposed to do, go back to the 50s and a male-dominated society?

Become lesbians

I think this is actually a great suggestion for many. It seems that there is an element of woman who wants her man neutered and is quite unhappy otherwise.

I know you’re saying this in a nasty way, but I don’t think it’s total coincidence that so many young women are bisexual. They look st the young guys and there are some good ones but a lot of them are pretty “meh” in terms of how they treat women and behave generally. I’m not surprised a lot of the girls are thinking that other girls look like a pretty good option, given that female sexuality is pretty fluid and the social prohibitions against same sex relationships are starting to fall away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Some are, mine is great.

So is mine and we've been married longer than most of the women on this site have lived. I don't know if I'm lucky or just blessed but somehow it has worked better then I could have ever hoped. From the beginning we have always had a great deal of respect for each others intelligence and opinions plus we are both pretty resilient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was talking with coworkers the other day and each of us was complaining about having a husband who was an extra child to look after. Ailments such as anxiety, depression, malaise and impulse control were thrown about.

Is this the norm? Are most husbands... dysfunctional man children?

yes! MEN ARE CHILDREN!

DRINK!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think all husbands are disappointing but mine is.

- Almost always no shows to kids events. I stopped making excuses but it makes no sad for them.
- No sex in years, even when I try to initiate.
- Drinks to the point of passing out every night. (This may explain the no sex.)
- Goes silent randomly - not contactable by phone or text. Usually when he sneaks off to a bar with his buddies.
- Lectures me. All. The. Time. About stupid stuff like what I made the kids for breakfast.
- Hyper critical and judgmental of others.
- Under-employed after quitting a perfectly good job without having another job lined up.
- Worries about money privately but tries to act like he is a high roller to friends and acquaintances.
- Is a total snob.
- Rude to my family.
- Angry with the world - blames others for his misfortune. Never considers what part he may have in life situations.

We tried therapy - he thought it was stupid. I have suggested marriage retreats. I read a great marriage book and bought him a copy. I think he will actually be surprised when I ask for a divorce this summer. In retrospect, there were warning signs, but he was a lot of fun when we dated. He has spiraled down quickly with age.

How do you know he's sneaking off to bars with "guys"? Almost sounds like he's cheating and has purposely distanced himself from you. I would probably confirm that, but you guys have so many problems not sure it's worth it. I'd probably just divorce him. Much easier to find a better partner....I mean you can only go up from what you have...