Are husbands generally disappointing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girls today are indoctrinated to think they are awesome, better than boys, and deserve the very best of everything. It is thus not surprising that reality can’t live up to expectations.

Yes, by all means, let’s blame feminism for this! What are we supposed to do, go back to the 50s and a male-dominated society?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls today are indoctrinated to think they are awesome, better than boys, and deserve the very best of everything. It is thus not surprising that reality can’t live up to expectations.

Yes, by all means, let’s blame feminism for this! What are we supposed to do, go back to the 50s and a male-dominated society?

Become lesbians

[Anonymous]

Mine is not like that at all.

My H works in a demanding profession and is very active at home and with our kids. He’s super handy and can fix anything.

Sorry your marriage is disappointing but I don’t think it’s fair or accurate to say most are as bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls today are indoctrinated to think they are awesome, better than boys, and deserve the very best of everything. It is thus not surprising that reality can’t live up to expectations.

Yes, by all means, let’s blame feminism for this! What are we supposed to do, go back to the 50s and a male-dominated society?

Become lesbians

Nice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If their wives enable it and/or marry incompetence, sure.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aren't we past anxiety and depression being character weaknesses?

Right? I suffer from anxiety as do my children. I wonder if he disappoint my husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men quickly learn that women are going to be “disappointed “ not matter what you do. Fix one problem, women will just find something else to moan about. The natural male response is to just stop caring at some point.

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Generally, yes, but I understand the good ones are great.

As with anything in life. The exceptional is exceptional because it’s rare.

Modern Western culture isn’t marriage-friendly. It provides little incentive for the poor to wed and is a set up that thrives in the middle class only because it taxes middle class women severely. The only complete beneficiaries are wealthy.

That said, my second husband is amazing and not child-like. Still we could have what we have now without the paper, but he wanted it.

[Anonymous]

Unrealistic or unbalanced expectations lead to disappointment.
My dh is a wonderful man, a great attentive father, has a good career, works out to keep healthy, grocery shops, does laundry etc.
He will also walk in and out of the bathroom all day when he's working from home and not notice the toilet paper is down to one square and needs to be changed. I'll go in right after work, notice and bring more up.
He says fun things like "honey, did we schedule the gutter cleaning?" Well no since he didn't, but then I go and email the lawn guy and schedule it for next week.
He is a professional planner for a company but I end up planning and coordinating all the renovations since that's a lot of moving pieces and decisions and research. He says thank you and asks that I keep in budget. And then sometimes grumbles as to what the boxes are that keep arriving and why didn't I ask his opinion on every knob I bought - well I ordered all the stuff we talked about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If their wives enable it and/or marry incompetence, sure.

This.

Not necessarily. Mine was great when we got married but he changed when work became stressful. He finally quit, but since he has not been able to find work for several years now (he believes it’s ageism) its bern very difficult to live with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren't we past anxiety and depression being character weaknesses?

Right? I suffer from anxiety as do my children. I wonder if he disappoint my husband.

Maybe, but we all end up a little disappointed as nothing is perfect!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unrealistic or unbalanced expectations lead to disappointment.
My dh is a wonderful man, a great attentive father, has a good career, works out to keep healthy, grocery shops, does laundry etc.
He will also walk in and out of the bathroom all day when he's working from home and not notice the toilet paper is down to one square and needs to be changed. I'll go in right after work, notice and bring more up.
He says fun things like "honey, did we schedule the gutter cleaning?" Well no since he didn't, but then I go and email the lawn guy and schedule it for next week.
He is a professional planner for a company but I end up planning and coordinating all the renovations since that's a lot of moving pieces and decisions and research. He says thank you and asks that I keep in budget. And then sometimes grumbles as to what the boxes are that keep arriving and why didn't I ask his opinion on every knob I bought - well I ordered all the stuff we talked about

+1

If you feel entitled to a perfect life and husband you WILL be disappointed because there will always be something to dwell on no matter how good you have it. People are their own worst enemies.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Men in general are a disappointment. I wish it wasn’t that way but it is. There are a few good ones but I don’t know any of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's pretty typical. I disagree with the prior poster thats its all about wives enabling it. Things change in life over the years...people get more demanding jobs, kids come into the picture, etc. You might date a guy who came off as having it together. 10 years down the road with more life responsibilities thrown it, you become surprised at how disappointing he's become. There is a place for boundaries to curb certain behaviors, but it's not the whole story.

I think this is true. Too many men can't juggle multiple things in their lives - job, children, house...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Men in general are a disappointment. I wish it wasn’t that way but it is. There are a few good ones but I don’t know any of them.

+1. They have always been this way. It’s why there are constant wars. Men are violent and dumb (you have to be dumb to be violent). You might deal with a lazy husband but be glad he isn’t blowing someone up in a foreign land.