Red shirting, again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

NP here. I never quite thought of Kindergarten as a competition. I mean, they don't calculate GPA or class rank. They don't even give letter grades! Who cares how your DC stacks up against specific other kids, older or younger, as long as your DC is happy and learning? Isn't that the point?

The parents care b/c the parents around here are overachievers and cry foul at the very suggestion that their kids are being unfairly treated. Not everybody can be the best academically, the best at sports, the most popular. Guess what, people, adversity brings character. Your child does not need to be the very best at everything. It is not a reflection of you or your parenting skills.

I really am not looking forward to my kids being school-aged. I really will not be able to stand people like OP who expect the sun to shine on her child alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

NP here. I never quite thought of Kindergarten as a competition. I mean, they don't calculate GPA or class rank. They don't even give letter grades! Who cares how your DC stacks up against specific other kids, older or younger, as long as your DC is happy and learning? Isn't that the point?

The parents care b/c the parents around here are overachievers and cry foul at the very suggestion that their kids are being unfairly treated. Not everybody can be the best academically, the best at sports, the most popular. Guess what, people, adversity brings character. Your child does not need to be the very best at everything. It is not a reflection of you or your parenting skills.

I really am not looking forward to my kids being school-aged. I really will not be able to stand people like OP who expect the sun to shine on her child alone.

Amen to both of these posts.

Let me preface my next statement by saying that it is clear to me that the parents who post on these forums love their children and want the best for them (which is great), but I find the focus on achievement at such an early age and all the ruckus about expensive private preschools so disturbing. I know people who went to private preschools and people who did not, people whose mothers stayed home with them until school and people whose mothers worked, blah blah blah, all the variations, and they are all successful adults. What kids need most is to know that they are loved and supported. Give them that, and most of the rest will work itself out.

[Anonymous]

Just curious but do people notice red-shirting in the upper grades 2-6 where things start to even out more? DC has friends who are 6 months older and 6 months younger. The difference in maturity and abilities between the two friends is striking but I wonder if this is only because they are younger.

[Anonymous]

Yes, pp, it is more about the lower grades. I agree that the range of behavior is great in these early years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just curious but do people notice red-shirting in the upper grades 2-6 where things start to even out more? DC has friends who are 6 months older and 6 months younger. The difference in maturity and abilities between the two friends is striking but I wonder if this is only because they are younger.

Yes. my children are teenagers and the effects of redshirting were most obvious in upper elementary and the tween years. During high school there is a shift in "power" among the boys. The biggest advantage for the redshirted students was social and athletic. Others do catch up so it can be hard for those kids .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure that age is the reason that he is "working significantly above grade level" and he should be--after all, he's a whole year older than everybody else...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Did you read my post? I said, " His age may be a factor there, for sure, but who knows? I don't know whether he'd be doing as well if he were one grade level higher than where he is now."

And did you read the rest of my post? We didn't redshirt him (and BTW, he met the cutoff by less than two weeks, so I'm not even sure "redshirting" is all that accurate here) so that he would work above grade level; we didn't send him on time because he was not emotionally and socially prepared to handle K. Seven years later, I see that decision was 100% correct.

[Anonymous]

I know a few kids in my day who failed a grade and were held back. At the time, we gave them quite a bit of flack because they were older than everybody else and we assumed they weren't smart. From now on, I think ANYONE's whose child fails a grade should just pretend that the DC was "redshirted" by their parents.

[Anonymous]

That's fine with me if it's fine with you. Are you ready to move on now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a few kids in my day who failed a grade and were held back. At the time, we gave them quite a bit of flack because they were older than everybody else and we assumed they weren't smart. From now on, I think ANYONE's whose child fails a grade should just pretend that the DC was "redshirted" by their parents.

I don't actually think kids "fail" a grade in elementary school any more -- it just doesn't happen as far as I know. THey get extra help or qualify for services but they don't get held back anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't actually think kids "fail" a grade in elementary school any more -- it just doesn't happen as far as I know. THey get extra help or qualify for services but they don't get held back anymore.

Untrue. We live in Arlington county where children are absolutely held back starting in Kindergarten. There are at least 2 kids in 3 classes that are repeating Kindergarten this year at my child's public elementary school. So, not a significant number, but definitely some. And yes, they qualify for services, but are still held back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is from the perspective of a parent with a child in the correct grade. He started K at 5 and will end K at 5.

Here is my complaint. When we do the teacher evaluations I am told that he is in "the middle of the pack" wrt reading and so on. I almost want to ask where he is when we fold in date of birth. But I know that the teachers are busy, that is not their problem.
When parents run around talking about how their child is advanced and needs a richer program, I want to scream. Many of these parents truly have gifted children, but some are actually a whole year older than my ds.
Let us not get to the issue of sports. DS is content with swimming because (I think) it is individual. Hates soccer since he is the "smallest", (actually tall for his age) and can't keep up with the others. I am inclined to start a tiny league for these boys and girls.

Anyway, most kids in his class are not red shirted, but some days I feel like I am the ONLY mother with a summer birthday boy who had the nerve to let him start school in September.

Our DS has a summer bday and is in the correct grade at a private school. He is doing very well in all respects. While he is certainly not the "star" reader in the class, I could care less. Reading goes into the "learning to walk, talk, etc." category. Also, by 3rd grade the early advantage the older kids may have disappears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's fine with me if it's fine with you. Are you ready to move on now?

I think it's a great idea too! From now on, anyone whose whose DC flunks a grade should say that their child was simply redshirted. Spread the word everyone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a few kids in my day who failed a grade and were held back. At the time, we gave them quite a bit of flack because they were older than everybody else and we assumed they weren't smart. From now on, I think ANYONE's whose child fails a grade should just pretend that the DC was "redshirted" by their parents.

Interesting...it could certainly take away some of the stigma for some of those children who have faced REAL academic challenges. But since most people have never heard of redshirting, I think they will still assume that an older child must have failed a grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't actually think kids "fail" a grade in elementary school any more -- it just doesn't happen as far as I know. THey get extra help or qualify for services but they don't get held back anymore.

Untrue. We live in Arlington county where children are absolutely held back starting in Kindergarten. There are at least 2 kids in 3 classes that are repeating Kindergarten this year at my child's public elementary school. So, not a significant number, but definitely some. And yes, they qualify for services, but are still held back.

Hmmm... kindergarten is the ONLY year I could see that happening. This is after having taught 10 years on VA public schools -- we just didn't "fail" kids in, say second grade. Didn't happen. If a child got all Ns on his report card, he still moved on to third grade. He wasn't just held back for another year of second grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...Nowadays the kids SIT AT THEIR DESKS all day....kids sit at their desks and practice their letters all day...

which school is your child in? this is definitely untrue for my kid's K class. not sure if you're just exaggerating or are you stating facts.