Red shirting, again.

[Anonymous]

This is from the perspective of a parent with a child in the correct grade. He started K at 5 and will end K at 5.

Here is my complaint. When we do the teacher evaluations I am told that he is in "the middle of the pack" wrt reading and so on. I almost want to ask where he is when we fold in date of birth. But I know that the teachers are busy, that is not their problem.
When parents run around talking about how their child is advanced and needs a richer program, I want to scream. Many of these parents truly have gifted children, but some are actually a whole year older than my ds.
Let us not get to the issue of sports. DS is content with swimming because (I think) it is individual. Hates soccer since he is the "smallest", (actually tall for his age) and can't keep up with the others. I am inclined to start a tiny league for these boys and girls.

Anyway, most kids in his class are not red shirted, but some days I feel like I am the ONLY mother with a summer birthday boy who had the nerve to let him start school in September.

[Anonymous]

"middle of the pack" is not exactly a professional comment!

But OK, let's work with it. What the teacher is telling you is that your child has certain instructional needs in reading and writing, and that the things he currently needs to work on are at about the same level as a lot of the class. Some kids have already mastered them (the "top of the pack") and she needs to provide different lessons for them; some kids have not yet mastered what the middle has mastered, and so the teacher needs to provide extra lessons for them. But your chld is right on track.

As most teachers tend to teach to the middle of the class, your child is probably getting the bulk of instruction from teh teacher, not from independent work, and she is probably focusing most of her attention at this level.

I don't know how you can assume that the older children are working at the "top of the pack" though. Did she tell you that as well? Some might be, others might not be -- and someo f the kids your child's age are probably reading at the top as well.

If you are hoping that your child will move up to the "top of the pack" in reading, I would hire a tutor, or get some tutoring resources yourself. As the teacher what skills the kids have in the top of the pack, that your son lacks. She'll probably say something like "they are already sounding out fat cat sat words" or "they can read words with consonant clusters/blends like slam, trip" or "they are reading at a 1st grade level" or whatever it is. Then just give your child extra help in those areas, until he too, has that coveted spot at the top of the pack.

[Anonymous]

When is your child's birthday? For little league (at least when I was growing up) the cut off was July 31st. Kids with August and September birthdays were always the best players.

[Anonymous]

I don't want my child to "move up". I just want a fair evaluation for his age.
pp, you are correct that teachers teach to the middle, and that is fine, for us. I can't imagine what a parent with "young" child will do if he/she is a little behind the "pack".
I had no idea that the boys would be so big. DS is 60%ile for height. Only in the pediatrician's office he is above average.

BTW, those older kids have NOTHING wrong with them academically or socially. They are bright and some quite gifted.

[Anonymous]

You seem to be thinking that "middle of the pack" is an evaluation. Is your child's teacher using it as such?

Is she giving your child an "S" or a "C" for reading, because he is performing on average for the class, and the higher up kids are getting Os or As?

She should be grading based on grade level expectations for K, not grading on a curve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I can't imagine what a parent with "young" child will do if he/she is a little behind the "pack".

They either don't worry about it, and in a few years the kids catch up (or don't ... then the get extra help or tutoring). Or instead of taking the wait and see approach, they get the extra help or tutoring right away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't want my child to "move up". I just want a fair evaluation for his age.

But you have that! He is kindergarten-aged, and he is right in the middle of the pack of kids doing kindergarten work! Sounds like things are going well!

I don't have a strong opinion about red-shirting--ask me again when I send my summer boy to K at age 5 and am in your shoes. But I hope that when the time comes, I will remember that what matters is that I'm placing my child in the grade that I think he is ready for--and that his being in the middle of the pack would help confirm that it's a good place for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want my child to "move up". I just want a fair evaluation for his age.

But you have that! He is kindergarten-aged, and he is right in the middle of the pack of kids doing kindergarten work! Sounds like things are going well!

I agree with the above.

OP, sounds like your child is right where he should be, working right on grade level with most of the kids.

It sounds like you don't want him to be any more advanced in his skills, but you want him to get some kind of evaluation that says he's above average?

Or is it that you don't want the other kids to be labeled "above average" just because they are older? You think the teacher should call them "average for their age as well"?

[Anonymous]

Your son has the skills that he has and still needs to master certain skills. This is true regardless of what the other kids in his class are doing or how old he is. Why the need to compare him to others?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't want my child to "move up". I just want a fair evaluation for his age.
pp, you are correct that teachers teach to the middle, and that is fine, for us. I can't imagine what a parent with "young" child will do if he/she is a little behind the "pack".
I had no idea that the boys would be so big. DS is 60%ile for height. Only in the pediatrician's office he is above average.

BTW, those older kids have NOTHING wrong with them academically or socially. They are bright and some quite gifted.

And is that your professional opinion, Doctor? You have no idea whether something is "wrong" with them, as you so delightfully put it. My child has several diagnosed delays which are not necessarily apparent to other parents. But they sure are apparent to the 10 private school administrators and teachers and therapists who recommended that summer birthday DC be held back from starting kindergarten. So I should just ignore all the advice from educators because you're worried that my kid will, what, make a non-red-shirted kid look not so smart? You have no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want my child to "move up". I just want a fair evaluation for his age.
pp, you are correct that teachers teach to the middle, and that is fine, for us. I can't imagine what a parent with "young" child will do if he/she is a little behind the "pack".
I had no idea that the boys would be so big. DS is 60%ile for height. Only in the pediatrician's office he is above average.

BTW, those older kids have NOTHING wrong with them academically or socially. They are bright and some quite gifted.

And is that your professional opinion, Doctor? You have no idea whether something is "wrong" with them, as you so delightfully put it. My child has several diagnosed delays which are not necessarily apparent to other parents. But they sure are apparent to the 10 private school administrators and teachers and therapists who recommended that summer birthday DC be held back from starting kindergarten. So I should just ignore all the advice from educators because you're worried that my kid will, what, make a non-red-shirted kid look not so smart? You have no idea.

We're those parents with a child "a little behind the pack" with an early summer b-day who went to K on time. DC is now in first and went through a whole school evaluation to diagnose what are clear difficulties. Definite diagnosis of ADHD and likely dyslexia too, although the school is reluctant to apply that label, at least right now. No regrets about sending DC to school ontime. Socially, things are great for DC but academics are a struggle, and likely will continue to be. Trying to paper it over by red-shirting would've just postponed identifying the issues and getting treatment for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want my child to "move up". I just want a fair evaluation for his age.
pp, you are correct that teachers teach to the middle, and that is fine, for us. I can't imagine what a parent with "young" child will do if he/she is a little behind the "pack".
I had no idea that the boys would be so big. DS is 60%ile for height. Only in the pediatrician's office he is above average.

BTW, those older kids have NOTHING wrong with them academically or socially. They are bright and some quite gifted.

And is that your professional opinion, Doctor? You have no idea whether something is "wrong" with them, as you so delightfully put it. My child has several diagnosed delays which are not necessarily apparent to other parents. But they sure are apparent to the 10 private school administrators and teachers and therapists who recommended that summer birthday DC be held back from starting kindergarten. So I should just ignore all the advice from educators because you're worried that my kid will, what, make a non-red-shirted kid look not so smart? You have no idea.

We're those parents with a child "a little behind the pack" with an early summer b-day who went to K on time. DC is now in first and went through a whole school evaluation to diagnose what are clear difficulties. Definite diagnosis of ADHD and likely dyslexia too, although the school is reluctant to apply that label, at least right now. No regrets about sending DC to school ontime. Socially, things are great for DC but academics are a struggle, and likely will continue to be. Trying to paper it over by red-shirting would've just postponed identifying the issues and getting treatment for them.

Nothing is being papered over. DC has already been diagnosed, is being treated, and is improving steadily. I used to roll my eyes when the school administrators would talk about "the gift of time," but that is exactly what DC is receiving this year in terms of becoming ready for K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BTW, those older kids have NOTHING wrong with them academically or socially. They are bright and some quite gifted.

My son is one of those "older kids." His birthday is in November, and he was K-eligible the year the cutoff was 11/30 in Montgomery County but we chose to hold him back. He was one of the oldest (but not the oldest) in his K class.

He is super-bright and now at an MCPS magnet middle school, working significantly above grade level. His age may be a factor there, for sure, but who knows? I don't know whether he'd be doing as well if he were one grade level higher than where he is now.

While I am 100% sure that he could have handled the K curriculum the year he was eligible, there is no way he could have handled it emotionally. He is a very nervous kid, a nail-biter, has a hard time sleeping sometimes because of anxiety. I routinely use creative visualization CDs with him to help him calm down. When he was K-eligible, he was very socially immature as well. All of these factors caused us to decide that notwithstanding his intelligence and academic capability, he would benefit from one more year of preschool, and indeed, we were right. He is pretty much on-target now in terms of social and emotional development, vis-a-vis his peers. He is not however at the same emotional/social level as those a grade ahead of him.

I'm sorry you are feeling distressed at the number of redshirted children in your son's class. For what it's worth though, nothing you have written causes me to re-think our decision, which we now know was absolutely without a doubt the right one.

You make decisions for your child, and I'll make them for mine. I don't see how else parents can do things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BTW, those older kids have NOTHING wrong with them academically or socially. They are bright and some quite gifted.

PP here again, here to (gently) point out that you don't know, you just don't KNOW whether those older kids have "NOTHING" wrong with them academically or socially. How can you know? Only their parents are in a position to make that judgment call, the year they are K-eligible.

Don't go there. Those are NOT your children.

[Anonymous]

Relax your child is fine.

My child will graduate from K at 5 next year. He is at the head of the pack (according to his teacher). He was also selected by his older peers to be the class representative with the administration vis-a-vis the wishes of his class. He did not attend any pre-school but has an older brother in Grade 3.

Would you remove my son from K because he is at the head of the pack? Would you place him in pre-K or Grade 2? What does chronological age have to do with anything? The teacher is well aware that he could be with his intellectual peers in the second or third grade but we choose to redshirt him. The teacher is so appreciative because she admires the way his older classmates follow his example. It also makes her day to day job easier.

The teacher agreed with our decision to redshirt my child whom she reluctantly informed us she could move up after his first month at K. By the way, we redshirted him because this was the first time away from home in a school setting. He loves the class. He loves his teacher. He loves the advantages he has ... all the other kids are counting to 10 and he helps them read and count. Do you think it is fair for a 5 year-old that reads and has mastered all the basic computational skills in elementary school math to be placed in a class with your 5- or 6-year-old child?

You are wasting emotionally energy worrying about the ages of kids in your class. I assure you that if your child were the oldest in the class he would necessarily by at the head of the pack!