Red shirting, again.

[Anonymous]

OP here, I just wish that of the 5 kindergartens they would group kids by age. They do it in nursery schools around here. It would give my son a break and maybe a little confidence. They have enough kids to do that until things smooth out later.
I have noticed that he wants to play with boys that are closer in age to him, as if he senses the difference. But my bet is that the physical diffrence is intimidating.
The academic issues are not important to me b/c the teachers seem so busy, they will only be looking at kids that are having trouble.
BTW, I know nearly half of the red shirted boys, and every parent has said they did it b/c of a spring or summer b-day. Only one did it b/c their son uses English as a second language. They are quite clear with this "everyone else is doing it" attitude, not wanting their son to be the one. Well, my son is the one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want my child to "move up". I just want a fair evaluation for his age.
pp, you are correct that teachers teach to the middle, and that is fine, for us. I can't imagine what a parent with "young" child will do if he/she is a little behind the "pack".
I had no idea that the boys would be so big. DS is 60%ile for height. Only in the pediatrician's office he is above average.

BTW, those older kids have NOTHING wrong with them academically or socially. They are bright and some quite gifted.

And is that your professional opinion, Doctor? You have no idea whether something is "wrong" with them, as you so delightfully put it. My child has several diagnosed delays which are not necessarily apparent to other parents. But they sure are apparent to the 10 private school administrators and teachers and therapists who recommended that summer birthday DC be held back from starting kindergarten. So I should just ignore all the advice from educators because you're worried that my kid will, what, make a non-red-shirted kid look not so smart? You have no idea.

We're those parents with a child "a little behind the pack" with an early summer b-day who went to K on time. DC is now in first and went through a whole school evaluation to diagnose what are clear difficulties. Definite diagnosis of ADHD and likely dyslexia too, although the school is reluctant to apply that label, at least right now. No regrets about sending DC to school ontime. Socially, things are great for DC but academics are a struggle, and likely will continue to be. Trying to paper it over by red-shirting would've just postponed identifying the issues and getting treatment for them.

Nothing is being papered over. DC has already been diagnosed, is being treated, and is improving steadily. I used to roll my eyes when the school administrators would talk about "the gift of time," but that is exactly what DC is receiving this year in terms of becoming ready for K.

For kids with basic immaturity, sure the gift of time may make a difference. For kids with dyslexia, it doesn't.

[Anonymous]

I believe if you channel your energies in the direction of your own child (support, encouragement, love and mentorship) you are vastly better off than spending time wrangling about the ages of other children and conjuring up all sorts of speculative theories about "physical and intellectual advantages". Your child, too, can read this body language and soon take on what you are projecting. My child is the youngest in his class, parenthetically the teacher tells us he carries himself with the most confidence in the classroom. The latter has nothing to do with his age! Nurture plays a much greater role than nature!

[Anonymous]

Families, physicians and schools make decisions about therapy and early education strategy for children that are no one else's business but the child and parents in question. Don't fret over the ignorant intrusions of interlopers on this board. Simply tell them to take a hike! Let them suffer the slow bleed of the duodenal ulcer as they pull their hair over "red shirting" and children that are 8.954943 months older than their poor, miserable, hopeless younger children that cannot cope.

[Anonymous]

Hey, look -- it's another redshirting thread with absolutely nothing new to offer! Woohoo!!

[Anonymous]

Actually, I have read that physical height before age 16 DOES have an impact of self esteem for boys. I read that if a boy ends up taller than average, but was shorter than average growing up, his self esteem resembles that of a shorter man. If a boy is tall while young, before 16, he has the self esteem of a taller man even if he ends up at an average height.

[Anonymous]

So what? Do you have any control over your height or that of your child? But you do have control over the nurture aspect of raising your child..I hope.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm curious to know what percentage of children in your DC's class is actually red-shirted? From the tone of this and other red-shirt threads, it seems as if the majority of summer birthday boys are red-shirted, but that cannot possibly be true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm curious to know what percentage of children in your DC's class is actually red-shirted? From the tone of this and other red-shirt threads, it seems as if the majority of summer birthday boys are red-shirted, but that cannot possibly be true.

Good question. There are about 120 kids in K. I know little about the girls. Of the 11 other boys in his class, 3 are red shirted. Two have b-days in late July, and one in Spring, but he is the one with the foreign language issues. The other boys are age appropriate, but have fall, winter, and spring birthdays. That leaves my son about 4 months younger than the next boy.

I know one other boy with an August b-day born in my son's year, but he is in another class. His mother seemed concerned since that child is very small. She once said, "I hope I did the right thing".

BTW, the girls are quite small too, I am not sure how old they are, but I do know that some mothers actually tried to get their daughters moved ahead, but I think they failed at that.


Honestly, had I known about this, I would have considered holding him back.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure that age is the reason that he is "working significantly above grade level" and he should be--after all, he's a whole year older than everybody else...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BTW, those older kids have NOTHING wrong with them academically or socially. They are bright and some quite gifted.

My son is one of those "older kids." His birthday is in November, and he was K-eligible the year the cutoff was 11/30 in Montgomery County but we chose to hold him back. He was one of the oldest (but not the oldest) in his K class.

He is super-bright and now at an MCPS magnet middle school, working significantly above grade level. His age may be a factor there, for sure, but who knows? I don't know whether he'd be doing as well if he were one grade level higher than where he is now.

While I am 100% sure that he could have handled the K curriculum the year he was eligible, there is no way he could have handled it emotionally. He is a very nervous kid, a nail-biter, has a hard time sleeping sometimes because of anxiety. I routinely use creative visualization CDs with him to help him calm down. When he was K-eligible, he was very socially immature as well. All of these factors caused us to decide that notwithstanding his intelligence and academic capability, he would benefit from one more year of preschool, and indeed, we were right. He is pretty much on-target now in terms of social and emotional development, vis-a-vis his peers. He is not however at the same emotional/social level as those a grade ahead of him.

I'm sorry you are feeling distressed at the number of redshirted children in your son's class. For what it's worth though, nothing you have written causes me to re-think our decision, which we now know was absolutely without a doubt the right one.

You make decisions for your child, and I'll make them for mine. I don't see how else parents can do things.

[Anonymous]

Interesting...if you still have the source for that information, would you please post it? One of my DCs is small for his age and the other is tall for his age. Curious about this issue.

Anonymous wrote:Actually, I have read that physical height before age 16 DOES have an impact of self esteem for boys. I read that if a boy ends up taller than average, but was shorter than average growing up, his self esteem resembles that of a shorter man. If a boy is tall while young, before 16, he has the self esteem of a taller man even if he ends up at an average height.

[Anonymous]

I feel really bad for you. It's too bad that your son is suffering, because people are busy gaming the system by putting their over-sized, over-aged children in Kindergarten. What a shame!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm curious to know what percentage of children in your DC's class is actually red-shirted? From the tone of this and other red-shirt threads, it seems as if the majority of summer birthday boys are red-shirted, but that cannot possibly be true.

Good question. There are about 120 kids in K. I know little about the girls. Of the 11 other boys in his class, 3 are red shirted. Two have b-days in late July, and one in Spring, but he is the one with the foreign language issues. The other boys are age appropriate, but have fall, winter, and spring birthdays. That leaves my son about 4 months younger than the next boy.

I know one other boy with an August b-day born in my son's year, but he is in another class. His mother seemed concerned since that child is very small. She once said, "I hope I did the right thing".

BTW, the girls are quite small too, I am not sure how old they are, but I do know that some mothers actually tried to get their daughters moved ahead, but I think they failed at that.


Honestly, had I known about this, I would have considered holding him back.

[Anonymous]

We have the same problem with our July born DD. She is doing quite well academically, but socially and behaviorally she is "immature". The teacher told me our DD is behind the others in maturity. I said, "Look at your birthday wall, she's a year younger than over half of these kids." The teacher was shocked and said, WHAT she's not 6? No, my kid just went to K on time.
Parents, just keep thinking your 6 y.o. is brilliant while he's doing 5 y.o. work. It clearly makes you feel good about yourselves.

[Anonymous]

I have a July boy. He is the best one in his soccer team, was selected for all-star tournament recently (the only one in his team)...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have the same problem with our July born DD. She is doing quite well academically, but socially and behaviorally she is "immature". The teacher told me our DD is behind the others in maturity. I said, "Look at your birthday wall, she's a year younger than over half of these kids." The teacher was shocked and said, WHAT she's not 6? No, my kid just went to K on time.
Parents, just keep thinking your 6 y.o. is brilliant while he's doing 5 y.o. work. It clearly makes you feel good about yourselves.

Agree, it is a way of talking yourself into believing that all is fine. No hurtful complaints from teachers, because the child is older. There is no motivation from the county to end the practice of red shirting it since it helps them wrt NCLB.