At a loss- spouse openly disregarded my wishes on something

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been thinking about it and I think it's a vintage car or motorcycle.

No it's a 12 foot detailed model of the Starship Enterprise

[Anonymous]

The couples with their own money are odd to me. DH and I just talk about purchases and come to an agreement. We're not children so don't have the need for a lot of Big Shiny Objects so I guess some do, which is fine if that's your thing...

[Anonymous]

Maybe it’s an eagle and he’s building an aviary in the driveway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 94.7% sure you're my neighbor based on the way you type, and a facebook status about something he's picking up today HAHAHAHAHAHA omg

Even if you aren’t a neighbor of OP, I’m curious about what showed up in your neighborhood!


I’ve been thinking about this mystery object and I think it’s an old camper or RV of sorts. Maybe hubs has some over-romanticized #vanlife fantasy percolating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 94.7% sure you're my neighbor based on the way you type, and a facebook status about something he's picking up today HAHAHAHAHAHA omg

Even if you aren’t a neighbor of OP, I’m curious about what showed up in your neighborhood!


I’ve been thinking about this mystery object and I think it’s an old camper or RV of sorts. Maybe hubs has some over-romanticized #vanlife fantasy percolating.

Please - spill it PP.

[Anonymous]

Wow… wait until the disagreement is about something BIG. Children, relocation, bringing an aging family member into the house…
If you can’t communicate the purchase of something between the two of you… you’re in for a rough ride when something with major consequences hits…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women need to learn that their polite deference to their husbands will rarely go reciprocated, because frankly, men aren’t that self-sacrificing.

Yes, this. I think a lot of men, at least for honor's sake will sacrifice a lot in "life-or-death" type scenarios, but very few men are "all in" enough to sacrifice something they really want for the basic day-to-day benefit/well being of their wives/marriage or families, or for say, a wife's career. OP, if you want to stay married to this guy, you are probably going to have invest household resources in getting help for yourself, and stop deferring to him for things he doesn't want to do. My sympathies though. It really sucks that the person who is supposed to be your partner in life doesn't actually want to be a partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The couples with their own money are odd to me. DH and I just talk about purchases and come to an agreement. We're not children so don't have the need for a lot of Big Shiny Objects so I guess some do, which is fine if that's your thing...

You’re so cool

[Anonymous]

I skipped to the end. OP I feel your pain. Sort for the old expression. What your DH did is buy a big expensive excuse box. He’s going to throw himself into the project: boat, pool, camper, shed gazebo. And that will be his ever renewable excuse.
People like that are infruriating. It’s the big excuse. It’s right there. He’s invested in it both monetarily and mentally. He owns all the rights to it’s time suck.
That’s the big issue. If it continues as a pattern the resentment will end the relationship eventually.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Some poster really angry at his wife and taking it out in OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The couples with their own money are odd to me. DH and I just talk about purchases and come to an agreement. We're not children so don't have the need for a lot of Big Shiny Objects so I guess some do, which is fine if that's your thing...

Like computers? Phones? Internet?

[Anonymous]

OP says it weird. I’m thinking ugly vintage car parked in driveway / front of house. Dog is not weird just time consuming. If it was a woman I would think chickens.

[Anonymous]

Ha. My spouse has a $60k "fun car" sitting in the garage; I park in the driveway; my 401k is pathetic while his is fully funded...I'll stop there, it only gets worse. And no I don't SAH either.

Time together is barely a thought, and honestly I barely even care. I want to travel, be able to retire, and help our kids pay for college. He wants shiny objects.

He's gonna be in for such a rude awakening when I leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha. My spouse has a $60k "fun car" sitting in the garage; I park in the driveway; my 401k is pathetic while his is fully funded...I'll stop there, it only gets worse. And no I don't SAH either.

Time together is barely a thought, and honestly I barely even care. I want to travel, be able to retire, and help our kids pay for college. He wants shiny objects.

He's gonna be in for such a rude awakening when I leave.

This was my ex-husband. Loved cars and motorcycle and anything he thought made it look like he had some sort of status. He remarried for money. I’m happily single and loving life. With more money than I’ve ever had, despite being down to one income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women need to learn that their polite deference to their husbands will rarely go reciprocated, because frankly, men aren’t that self-sacrificing.

+1

All those men with ADHD that is limited to household/family related matters, but are wonderfully functional at work or for something they enjoy doing are prime examples of this. And usually something that isn’t evident until after marriage and kids.