Why are so many women I'm meeting having mental health issues?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a huge chunk of men are walking around with low level PTSD from the violence they've suffered at the hands of other men. They, in turn, perpetuate the cycle by committing violent acts against others.

Men are far and away the greatest perpetrators of and victims of violence in society. It needs to stop.

I agree with some of what you say, but I think that you’ve missed a lot of the constant low level violence women and girls experience every day. Not just from romantic partners, but other male relatives and even strangers. A student (age 13) recently wrote an essay about being dragged out of a store by her long ponytail because the clerk thought she was stealing. Other customers watched and did nothing to stop him or comfort her afterwards.

[Anonymous]

Men just wander around thinking about work and what/where to eat next.

Women race around thinking about work, kids, sports, health, the house, the yard, the nanny, the days off school/vacations, gifts to buy, insurance, meal planning, family schedule planning, clothes that fit everyone, play dates, school deadlines and homework, etc.

It’s overwhelming and then to have a cluesless partner would put anyone in the loony house!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a huge chunk of men are walking around with low level PTSD from the violence they've suffered at the hands of other men. They, in turn, perpetuate the cycle by committing violent acts against others.

Men are far and away the greatest perpetrators of and victims of violence in society. It needs to stop.

I agree with some of what you say, but I think that you’ve missed a lot of the constant low level violence women and girls experience every day. Not just from romantic partners, but other male relatives and even strangers. A student (age 13) recently wrote an essay about being dragged out of a store by her long ponytail because the clerk thought she was stealing. Other customers watched and did nothing to stop him or comfort her afterwards.

How is this unique to women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men just wander around thinking about work and what/where to eat next.

Women race around thinking about work, kids, sports, health, the house, the yard, the nanny, the days off school/vacations, gifts to buy, insurance, meal planning, family schedule planning, clothes that fit everyone, play dates, school deadlines and homework, etc.

It’s overwhelming and then to have a cluesless partner would put anyone in the loony house!

Sure, Jan. Men are just shallow, while women are emotionally complex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a huge chunk of men are walking around with low level PTSD from the violence they've suffered at the hands of other men. They, in turn, perpetuate the cycle by committing violent acts against others.

Men are far and away the greatest perpetrators of and victims of violence in society. It needs to stop.

I agree with some of what you say, but I think that you’ve missed a lot of the constant low level violence women and girls experience every day. Not just from romantic partners, but other male relatives and even strangers. A student (age 13) recently wrote an essay about being dragged out of a store by her long ponytail because the clerk thought she was stealing. Other customers watched and did nothing to stop him or comfort her afterwards.

How is this unique to women?

Not unique, which is my point. Men and women both experience lots of violence. I think the difference is the casual, low level violence against girls, which is harrowing, but not as visible as boys fighting each other at school or gang members shooting each other. I think women suffer a lot of unacknowledged violence that doesn’t make it into YouTube videos or the evening local news.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a huge chunk of men are walking around with low level PTSD from the violence they've suffered at the hands of other men. They, in turn, perpetuate the cycle by committing violent acts against others.

Men are far and away the greatest perpetrators of and victims of violence in society. It needs to stop.

I agree with some of what you say, but I think that you’ve missed a lot of the constant low level violence women and girls experience every day. Not just from romantic partners, but other male relatives and even strangers. A student (age 13) recently wrote an essay about being dragged out of a store by her long ponytail because the clerk thought she was stealing. Other customers watched and did nothing to stop him or comfort her afterwards.

How is this unique to women?

Not unique, which is my point. Men and women both experience lots of violence. I think the difference is the casual, low level violence against girls, which is harrowing, but not as visible as boys fighting each other at school or gang members shooting each other. I think women suffer a lot of unacknowledged violence that doesn’t make it into YouTube videos or the evening local news.

It's surprising that you see it that way. For as long as I can remember, the news has been filled with stories and discussions about violence against women and girls while violence against men and boys rarely gets acknowledged unless someone is literally shot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men just wander around thinking about work and what/where to eat next.

Women race around thinking about work, kids, sports, health, the house, the yard, the nanny, the days off school/vacations, gifts to buy, insurance, meal planning, family schedule planning, clothes that fit everyone, play dates, school deadlines and homework, etc.

It’s overwhelming and then to have a cluesless partner would put anyone in the loony house!

Oh God, mommy martyrs keeping up with each other.

[Anonymous]

Here’s my take. Women tend to be feelers. So we feel sad and stressed about all the horrible crap going on around us. More and more we are bombarded with this information. Yet we have no power to change anything since by and large men are in charge.

Men don’t seem to process the world the same way, so it’s less common for men to have anxiety. They are better at living in the moment and not worrying about the road ahead. If they did care, they would probably do something about it, but they don’t. So they watch sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s my take. Women tend to be feelers. So we feel sad and stressed about all the horrible crap going on around us. More and more we are bombarded with this information. Yet we have no power to change anything since by and large men are in charge.

Men don’t seem to process the world the same way, so it’s less common for men to have anxiety. They are better at living in the moment and not worrying about the road ahead. If they did care, they would probably do something about it, but they don’t. So they watch sports.

I think this is a common assumption that women have. But men are “feelers” too. Anyone who has raised children knows that boys are often more emotional and sensitive than girls, until adolescence — when they turn into stone. Some women have this weird assumption that women are deep and sophisticated emotional beings who have subtle and complex feelings while men are carefree Golden retrievers. In fairness, men do a good job of selling this image.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a huge chunk of men are walking around with low level PTSD from the violence they've suffered at the hands of other men. They, in turn, perpetuate the cycle by committing violent acts against others.

Men are far and away the greatest perpetrators of and victims of violence in society. It needs to stop.

I agree with some of what you say, but I think that you’ve missed a lot of the constant low level violence women and girls experience every day. Not just from romantic partners, but other male relatives and even strangers. A student (age 13) recently wrote an essay about being dragged out of a store by her long ponytail because the clerk thought she was stealing. Other customers watched and did nothing to stop him or comfort her afterwards.

How is this unique to women?

Not unique, which is my point. Men and women both experience lots of violence. I think the difference is the casual, low level violence against girls, which is harrowing, but not as visible as boys fighting each other at school or gang members shooting each other. I think women suffer a lot of unacknowledged violence that doesn’t make it into YouTube videos or the evening local news.

Please stop. This is ridiculous. And I am a woman. Your posts make me want to commit low level violence because they’re so asinine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men just wander around thinking about work and what/where to eat next.

Women race around thinking about work, kids, sports, health, the house, the yard, the nanny, the days off school/vacations, gifts to buy, insurance, meal planning, family schedule planning, clothes that fit everyone, play dates, school deadlines and homework, etc.

It’s overwhelming and then to have a cluesless partner would put anyone in the loony house!

Didn't you people read? These women that OP is meeting are not burdened with kids or scheduling. They're professional single or divorced women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not just women. When I was single, I dated many men with depression, anxiety, addiction, or BPD. But they rarely told me about it right away, or at all- sometimes to hide it, sometimes because they didn’t recognize they had it. Which makes things very messy when I have to end things weeks/months/tears down the road.

The bigger issue was why I was attracting those types of people. Took me a lot of therapy to figure that out.

What did therapy reveal as the reason you were attracted to these men and vice versa? I’m experiencing the same thing as you and trying to understand how to break this pattern.

PP here. Basically, due to my family of origin, I’m very codependent and I find security in having someone who is dependent on me. Also, my own family was not affectionate or loving at all, so real emotional intimacy is tough for me. Instead I crave the fake intimacy that comes with the drama of mental illness. Also lots of self esteem issues.

That being said, I don’t know if I can break the pattern. Even after therapy I struggled with relationships with normal men. I felt very insecure with them. I’m married now to someone with mental illness and it’s a drag. If we divorce, I think I’ll just have to remain single the rest of my life.

[Anonymous]

After reading 7 pages of responses, can people agree that everyone- men and women- are mentally ill on some level??? I mean, what's normal? There isn't any if people will label stress as anxiety or sadness as depression. Anything and everything is pathologized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of over sharing of medical information early on. I don't get it.

Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of over sharing of medical information early on. I don't get it.

Agree

Social media has created a culture of oversharing and it’s trickled into real life. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve met someone and they immediately start telling me about their addiction/sobriety, or their marital problems, or their poop. I just met you, I don’t need to know about your diarrhea.